Me: Daniel, why are you licking the ladder on the bunk bed?
Daniel: Because it tastes nice.
Twins
Sharper than a Serpent’s Tooth
Mr. Waffle performed some service for Michael and I said, “Who is the best Daddy in the world?” Daniel was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling and, after some thought, decided to answer the question, “I don’t know, Uncle G maybe?”
Lofty Ambitions
Daniel has written to our new President, Michael Daniel Higgins asking him to visit the children’s school:
“Dear Michael D. Higgins, Our names are Michael and Daniel. Please could you come to [our school]. Mary McAleese [his very popular predecessor] didn’t.”
Do you think that this will convince the great man?
Standards? What Standards?
Herself: I’ve been reading this comic “X-men, First Class”.
Me: Oh yeah?
Her: It’s highly unsuitable for Daniel. There are lots of people in bed together. I assume Daniel doesn’t know what they do under the blankets, at his age, but it’s only a question of time before he finds out. And it’s also very violent.
Me: I’d say he focuses more on the violence.
Gendered Space
The boys stuck this up on their door today:
Unanswerable
Michael: Why is the light for the bathroom outside the door?
Me: So that you don’t electrocute yourself turning it on and off with wet hands.
Michael: But when the light is outside, your enemies can turn it off when you’re on the toilet.