belgianwaffle

Twins

Advice on twins, please


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins, Youngest Child

When I thought about school for the boys initially, I had assumed that I would put them in the same class.  Then the school told me that, normally (or normalement as we say in Belgium, how I will miss that expression), they put twins in separate classes.  I decided that this was cruel and heartless.  I consulted and both twins I knew said that they had been in the same class as their twin siblings and they seem like pleasant, well-adjusted people.

Then, I was talking to the women who work in the creche whom I find very helpful and reliable.   They said that Daniel wants to play with Michael all the time.  Some days, Michael does not want to play with Daniel (fair enough) and then Daniel gets cranky (who could blame him?).  Apparently, there are never times when Michael wants to play with Daniel and Daniel does not want to play with Michael.  Their advice would be to separate them at school.

I had noticed that Daniel says that Alice is his friend but when I enquired at the creche, they said that Alice and Michael tend to play together and Daniel waits until they have finished and grabs Michael. My poor little mite.

They are both, of course, great fantasists, like their sister.  Whenever they hurt themselves, they both say “It’s not funny.”  When I ask them why, they say that Manon laughs when they hurt themselves at the creche.  On enquiry, creche staff confirmed that Manon, who seems like a very sweet little girl, is in fact a sweet little girl and very gentle. However, on hearing the context, they explained that some time ago Manon had fallen over and hurt herself and Daniel and Michael had both pointed and laughed at her whereupon they were both severely reprimanded.  On the plus side, it does look like they’ve learnt their lesson. On the minus side, I don’t think that they are ever going to forgive Manon for her imaginary offence, she remains a hate figure who mocks the injured, chez nous.  I digress.

At home, it is clear that Michael is the ringleader and Daniel dutifully falls into line.  We call Michael “dangermouse”.  He is the only one of our children who likes risk.  Daniel is by far the most obliging of our three children.  If we want to quell a fight over a precious object, it is most frequently Daniel who is called upon to give up his claim; because we know he will.  I know this isn’t fair but we’re tired.

On closer questioning, both of my grown-up twin advisers (one of whom is, handily enough, the dominant twin and the other the passive), agreed that on balance, it probably would have been better had they been in different classes from their twins at school though, at the time, they certainly didn’t think so.

So, what do you think?  Were the twins you know in the same class in school or different classes?  From what age?  What worked best?   I await any comments with bated breath (well, I always await comments with bated breath but in this case particularly bated breath).

Things I want to remember


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins, Youngest Child

“Daniel, come to dinner.” “I finish my book”.

“How!” – Daniel as an Indian with arms folded stiffly and a solemn expression.

Daniel using the wooden spoons as skis.

Daniel using the wooden spoons as violins.

Daniel using the wooden spoons as lethal weapons.

The boys running down the corridor with their towels on their heads flapping out behind them.

Sounds from the bedroom.

Daniel: Scream.

Michael: Giggle.

Michael: Scream.

Daniel and Michael: Giggle.

Dialogue

Daniel (in bed): Ehhh, mmh, waah (general whimpering noise).

Me (tiptoeing to his bedside in the dark): Daniel, what’s wrong?

Him (delighted): Moi, je fais “Ehhh, mmh, waah”.

Today, I explained to the creche that when the boys leave in July, we are moving back to Ireland. Since they would be finishing in July anyway, if they were going to school in Belgium, we hadn’t explained that we were actually leaving the country. It was funny because the women who worked there all said “ah, that explains a lot”. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought that the boys were aware of the proposed move at any level, but it seems that I was wrong.

Daniel insisting on silence before speaking and saying to each of us in turn “Can I talk?” or “Je peux parler?” before imparting an item of information such as “The house is big.”

Writing about your children on the internet


Posted in: Princess, Reading etc., Twins

A while ago, Dooce had a post about her decision to write about her daughter Leta on the internet.   Then, the Game Theorist had one too.  And he referred to a Slate article about this very same topic.  I have a feeling that Beth is going to do something similar.

Like most people, I am ambiguous about this.  Unlike Dooce, I don’t make money from my blog; does this make matters better or worse?  I’m putting my children in just as much danger as she is and/or exploiting them just as much and I can’t even make money out of it?  On balance, I think it makes no difference.  Dooce isn’t writing about Leta for the money, she’s writing because she loves her and that’s true for all of us.  I started this blog to let my family know what the children were up to.  So now that I am moving back to Ireland I will give it up, you observe.  Not at all.  I love it.  I am keeper of the family archive.  At the end of every month I print down a selection of the 100s of photos we take and put them in an album and carefully label them (don’t hate me).  I write about my children because, I know, if I don’t, I will forget.   I write about them on the internet because I am a show-off and I love the attention.  If I didn’t have a blog, I would intend to write all these things down, but I wouldn’t.  I like being part of a community (no scoffing) and I like that people read what I write (kind, good, generous nice people, unlike, say, my brother who can’t understand why anyone on earth should be interested).   I suppose I could wait until the children are old enough to read it themselves but at the rate the Princess’s reading is progressing, it could be years before we get any progress on this front.

I spoke to my mother about this the other day.  This is the woman who does not use her credit card on the internet for safety’s sake and who, for many years was very reluctant to use the internet at all on the basis that she might accidentally download something illicit or dangerous or both: this despite constant reassurances from her children that you usually have to pay for that kind of material.  In response to my concerns, my mother said briskly “Nonsense, they are very lucky children and they will be delighted to read all about themselves when they are bigger.”   You know, maybe she’s right.

Bad mother


Posted in: Family, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Travel, Twins, Work

I am on my last work trip for this job.  Frankly, this is a mercy.

This morning I left my husband to drop the car into the garage for repairs, meet movers who are coming to decide how much money they will charge us to get our belongings back to Ireland, let in more random people who may want to rent our flat and generally mind everything. I also left the country with Mr. Waffle’s mobile phone and our camera nestling in the dim recesses of my handbag. He was not pleased when I told him.

I got back to my hotel this evening to find that I had left Mr. Waffle’s mobile phone on the desk (why always keep it in a handbag, why not strive for new and different ways of making things difficult?).  This was a pity because there was a message from the Princess’s summer course saying that it was nearly 7 and was anyone coming to collect her.  I then remembered that I had told the childminder, C, that we would collect the Princess on Monday because it was too difficult for C to travel by public transport with the boys and the Princess (the course being some distance from our house).  This is information I may not have relayed to my husband.  I have just rung C who tells me that Mr. Waffle had arrived home, realised that the Princess was not there and turned around to go and get her taking the boys with him as C’s working day was over and he did not want to impose.  I would have imposed myself but I have much lower standards than he does.

Any minute now,  I am going to phone home and see how things are going and, gentle reader, I am very afraid.  I think that I will plug the line that I have specifically asked not to travel in my new job and that I do not intend to leave him alone again until the children are in their teens.

Busy Day


Posted in: Belgium, Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

The Princess completed her education in Belgium today and I felt quite sad as I walked her to and from school.  She was unmoved.

I took the three children as well as the childminder and her two children (it seemed like a good idea at the time) to the ophthalmologist this afternoon.  We spent an hour and a half there.  Truly, these are times that try men’s souls.  The Princess was excruciatingly badly behaved.   The only crumb of comfort was that both she and her brothers were very well behaved during their longish examinations and didn’t whine about the eye drops which appeared unpleasant.

I noted, by the simple expedient of nosily peering over the doctor’s shoulder as she typed up my children’s results, that the beautifully dressed and charmingly behaved boy who was waiting patiently for his appointment, shared a surname with the woman who will one day be queen of Belgium.  I later pointed this out to the Princess and followed up with the rider that this was, effectively, her first chance to impress a Prince and it had been an abject failure.  I further told her that I did not think that a real Princess would insist on lying (with her brothers) on the waiting room floor with her feet in the air showing off her stripy underpants.  I know what you are thinking; sarky comments of this nature are unwelcome.

On the eye front, the Princess and Michael have identical optic nerves (who knew you could tell); the Princess very deftly manoeuvered letters to reflect those on the screen; Michael mortified me by not knowing what an apple was or any of his colours (“I dunno”) but Daniel redeemed my reputation.  The Princess and Michael, as well as their identical optic nerves, share perfect eyesight.   This was the good news.  Unfortunately, poor Daniel’s eyesight is not improving.  We have been given a prescription for stronger glasses and he may yet have to have an operation.  We will have a long note to take to someone in Dublin.  I imagine we will have to translate it first.

A Practical Arrangement


Posted in: Twins, Youngest Child

Michael completed his toilet training some time ago with almost no accidents.  So much for boys being bad at this.  This process has given me some unexpected insights.  It’s actually relatively hard for boys to aim with any accuracy but I am amazed how much easier it is for small boys to wee in public without wetting their clothes than it is for small girls.  I suppose I knew in theory but I never really expected to know in practice in quite so much detail.

A friend (mother of two daughters) tells me how she had a little boy to stay and after he had been to the bathroom, it was soaked.  He had stood at the toilet but every time he heard a noise outside the bathroom he had twirled around to see what it was and sprayed liberally as he turned.

Too much information?