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Youngest Child

Round-up for the record

23 February, 2009
Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

I have been neglecting my blog.  I know, you haven’t noticed but it is all about me.

I am recovering from a week of mid-term with herself.  I kept bleating feebly that I was supposed to be on holidays too but we both knew that this wasn’t true.  I spent one long and tiring day fielding questions on God, dinosaurs and perjury, none of which is really my long suit; three long and tiring days in Cork and a day cleaning up the house after our latest round of handymen.  I think she enjoyed some of it.

One afternoon, in Cork, the boys and I visited the Glucksman gallery while the Princess bonded with her grandparents.  I find modern art can be a bit challenging but there was a very good exhibition on conflict in 20th century Ireland which the boys and I enjoyed on different levels (“Meaners with guns!”/”Oh Lavery, Paul Henry, how nice”).

Downstairs there was some more classic modern fare, if I may so term it (yes, you may permit yourself a titter here at my inelegant expression, should you so wish).   I think I can best convey the type of exhibit by quoting from the website:

The exhibition also explores strategies of participation, inviting visitors to discover and create conflicting relationships of their own by engaging with the works directly. In Stephen Willats’ Organic Exercise No.1 Series 2 , visitors are invited to re-configure a set of plaster bricks on a grid, without prior rules or instructions. The work therefore becomes everchanging and subject to the alteration of each participant. Visitors are also invited to participate in Mark Clare’s Ping-Pong Diplomacy – a functioning table-tennis table made of pallet-wood; a work that references the famous contest between American and Chinese players in 1971 which acted as a breakthrough in diplomatic relations between the two countries.

In fairness to Mr. Clare, in particular, I must say that the boys got great value out of Ping-Pong diplomacy and played there until closing time when we were chucked back out into the rain.  Maybe the exhibition wasn’t really for us because we are perfectly capable of creating “conflicting relationships of [our].. own” without any help from modern art.

[Is this next paragraph a non-sequitur or is it art?  Only you can decide.] Daniel’s toilet training appears to be complete.  This means that we are now finally in a position to fully appreciate the joys of a house with one toilet and five inhabitants.  The other day, Daniel and Michael had the following chat:

Michael: I want to do a WEE.

Daniel [ensconced] : I’m doing a wee and a poo.

Michael [Jumping from side to side] : I want to do a WEE.

Daniel: Tough luck.

The Princess has learnt to read.  Just like that over the past couple of weeks. I am astounded and constantly keen to hear her reading things.  She is considerably less entranced.  She finds it a chore though she does like reading signs when we are out.  I was appalled to discover that she had seen part of “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe” on television at school.  At this rate, she will have seen all the children’s classics on television before she reads them herself.  The first book I clearly remember reading was “The Magician’s Nephew” and it has a special place in my heart.  I do hope that there will be some book like that in her life.

Daniel had his first visit to an Irish ophthalmologist.  He has confirmed that our son is quite longsighted (+6).  I was, however, delighted to hear that the doctor does not think that surgery will be necessary for his lazy eye.  I am not quite sure whether this is because Belgium is more interventionist than Ireland or because it has got better with the patch.  We can also stop patching his eye in a couple of months which will be fantastic.  Daniel is generally very good about wearing his patch (two hours a day) but it is uncomfortable for the poor mite and removing it from our morning routine will save us precious minutes trying to get out the door on time. When I asked Daniel how the trip went, he said fine but added glumly that he had had “gouttes”.  “Did you tell him what they were in French?” I asked Mr. Waffle.  He hadn’t.  Poor Daniel had remembered the term since last July when he had his parting visit with his Belgian ophthalmologist.  I suspect that the eye-drops are not very nice.  I know this is all very tedious for you but, you know, how will I remember when all this happened if not for the trusty blog?

Michael continues very manly.  He asks me to stop kissing him and when I rub his back he informs me coldly that he is not a cat or a dog. Inspired by their uncle, he and Daniel have begun to throw themselves into impromptu rucks on the floor which, when rebuked for fighting, they describe in injured tones as playing rugby like Uncle Dan.  So, now only Michael’s large collection of stuffed toys stands between him and his quest for absolute masculinity.  He goes to bed with doudou, nounours, wabbit (the English R is still proving elusive, he can do the French one though), Ingeborg, big Ingeborg and cheetah.  Three of these had to accompany us to Cork during the week taking up appreciable space in the small case.  This must end.

Relaxing at the end of the working day

27 January, 2009
Posted in: Family, Twins, Youngest Child

3 x children (screaming loudly):  Mummy, Mummy, Mummy!

Princess (sotto voce): Mummy, you’re going to have to call Wesley.

Me (confused): Who’s Wesley?

Her (rolling eyes): The plumber.

Me (nervously): Why?

Her: Because Michael stuffed the toilet with toilet paper.

Me (anxious glance at French childminder): Did he?

Her: Yes, good bye, have a pleasant evening.

I then went upstairs with a plastic bag and removed an entire roll of toilet paper (carefully shredded) from the toilet.

We laugh that we do not weep

21 January, 2009
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Twins, Youngest Child

Mr. Waffle: How was the afternoon?

Me: Michael fell down the stairs on his head.

Him: Oh dear.

Me: Daniel slipped off the toilet and banged his head on the toilet bowl.

Him: Oh dear.

Me: I turned my back on Michael while he was flushing the toilet and when I looked back, he had his head in the bowl and his mouth open lapping up the spray.

Him: That toilet has had a busy afternoon.

Cupboard love

17 December, 2008
Posted in: Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Michael:  Are we going to grandma and grandad’s house?

Me: Not today, sweetheart.

Him: Hysterical sobs.

Me: Why do you want to see grandma and grandad so badly?

Him: Because their house is warm.  I’m always freezing here.

As you can tell, the insulation crisis continues unchecked.

I was relating this hilarious tale to a colleague and she became very concerned on my behalf.  I was bemused; when I was a child it was completely normal to be frozen all the time, I used to have to get dressed under the blankets in the mornings.  This Celtic Tiger has a lot to answer for.

Meanwhile, herself is busy practising for the nativity play: “Ní raibh aon leaba le fáil do Mhuire agus Iosaef” [Go on, non-Irish speakers, guess what it means using only your knowledge of infant nativitiy plays as a guide]. You may care to consider this in plain clothes (not quite the right text) or dress rehearsal version.

Slightly disturbing

12 December, 2008
Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Princess: You may kiss the bride.

Me: Eh?

Her: Who says that?

Me: The priest when people get married.

Her: I want to kiss a boy.

Me: You can kiss your brothers whenever you want.

Her: Another boy.

Me: Is this what you talk about at school.

Her: Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, the child is five.

In other news, I have captured Daniel (with some interference) doing bits from Peter and the Wolf.  Only the really enthusiastic will want to follow all of these links.

Random update on my children

5 December, 2008
Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Michael is not a great believer in metaphor and he does not like inaccuracy.

When he hurts himself, I will often say “my poor baby” and through his sobs, Michael will say furiously “I’m not a baby, I’m a big boy”.  Somebody at Montessori school has sold him the line that, “juice makes me small and water makes me big” and he will now only drink water in the hopes of growing up big and strong.  In fact, he doesn’t really like sweet things and when his brother and sister get a biscuit, he always has a cracker instead as he doesn’t like biscuits.  Isn’t this odd?

Michael is morbidly anxious that the family may be split up and always insists that when we go out we stick together like glue.

This morning, Daniel, as always, woke up first.  As I lifted him out of the cot (maybe for their 18th birthdays, they’ll get beds) I said “Up, up, up with a fish”.  And Michael said from some distance under the duvet, “My brother is not a fish.”Michael also likes to say “actually” all the time.  I fear he may have picked that up from me, actually.

Michael’s hair is finally starting to grow back after having been shaved off in September.  I remember shortly after his scalping I got the train to Cork with the children and the lady opposite asked, “Are they twins?” To which I said yes.  “And the little boy is a cousin?”  I explained that the boys were the twins and the little girl their big sister.  “Oh,” she said “it’s just that his hair was so different, I didn’t think that they could be in the same family”.

Daniel howled this evening from the moment his sister taunted him by singing the wrong song until almost an hour later when we finally wrestled him into bed, having wrestled him out of his clothes, into the bath, into a towel and into his pyjamas.  We are exhausted.  He is very strong and has an enormous capacity for misery, poor mite.

He is also an outstanding mimic with a great memory.  To hear him doing Peter and the Wolf from start to finish is enough to bring a warm glow to any middle class parent’s heart.

The Princess was awarded “Gaeilgeoir na seachtaine” (Irish speaker of the week) at school today.  We are unclear whether this is in recognition of her Irish prowess or because her name was drawn out of a hat.  We are, nevertheless, proud and she has some crayons and paints for her pains.She has just departed for bed in a state of high excitement as Saint Nicolas (who comes to Belgian children on the night of the 5th) may come to us as honorary Belgians.  We have carefully left out shoes for him to fill with sweets, beer and biscuits (there was some concern that we have no speculoos, but he will just have to manage) and a carrot for his donkey, just in case.  I have told her that he only comes when children are asleep.  She pointed out to me that the boys were already asleep and it would be most unfair of him not to come under these circumstances.  I beat a hasty retreat uttering dire but unsustainable warnings of what would happen, if she failed to drop off.

The Princess has started ballet on Saturday mornings.  I did ballet for 7 years.  For 6 of those 7 years I wore white tights, a white polo neck, black ballet shoes and my hair in a net.  In my seventh year, I graduated to peach shoes and a leotard.  For her first lesson last week the Princess wore the required gear, namely: white tights (some things never change), a blue leotard, peach shoes, a blue cross-over cardigan thingy and a blue filmy skirt (not a tutu, that would just be too much).  Did I mention that I walked to school barefoot as well?

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