When I went to my parents’ house a couple of weeks ago, I put the children in front of the television for the weekend which worked well for all of us, aside from the inevitable guilt which I suffered. I am now paying the price for this over-exposure.
Daniel keeps saying in an English accent, “See our new catalogue for details. Now in-store!” Michael peering into the cupboard under the sink said to me, “Look, Vanish oxi action power gel, works on all kinds of stains.” Oh the wages of sin.
The boys eat nothing. Every evening at dinner, Michael surveys the table and announces dolefully, “There’s nothing I like.” I was at the library the other day and the staff had strategically placed a book on parenting in the children’s section. I flicked to the part on children’s eating habits looking idly for tips. It was all about tackling childhood obesity. Well, at least there’s one problem we haven’t got at the moment.
Me: Michael, stop picking your nose and eating it. It’s disgusting.
Him (extending finger): How do you know, you haven’t tried it.
Michael: How would you like it, if I threw your hand mirror in the bin?
Me: I wouldn’t like it at all, now put it back in my bedroom please.
Him (waving the mirror menacingly): Then STOP putting my stuff in the bin.
When I came home from work, Michael looked up from what he was doing and said, “Mum, the babysitter kicked me.” He then went back about his business. I protested feebly, “Don’t call O “the babysitter” Michael, she has a name.” And then I turned to O and asked “Ahem, did you, eh, you know, eh…” to which she said, no.
Nevertheless, the children have not taken a shine to her and, certainly, she is not as good as her predecessor who was terrific. But she seems ok. And she will be finishing in the next couple of months in any event to go back to France for the ski season. So, I suppose we will tough it out.
I discovered that the children have other plans. The boys’ teacher took me aside this morning. She said that the boys had told her that they were working on a secret plan developed by their sister. At her signal they were to scream and only to stop when she picked up the cat. I see a number of difficulties here including both the objection of the cat and the Princess’s choice of co-conspirators. Still, I am experiencing definite unease. This evening the Princess asked me why I can’t sack the babysitter.
Oh dear. Do you think that the babysitter will tough it out?
I found the mug that the children use for rinsing out after brushing their teeth on top of the toilet cistern. “Why is it there?” I asked the children. The Princess explained. Apparently the cleaner had used a new exciting and particularly foamy disinfectant in the toilet. Michael had used the mug to scoop out the foam and play with it. Words fail me.