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The Joy of Work

15 July, 2010
Posted in: Work

I have a colleague who is a pleasant, down to earth woman from the west of Ireland. She is in her mid 50s and has nice clothes, pearls, grown-up daughters and her husband is an accountant. Her name is Mary. Are you getting a picture here?

This morning she got the following text message:

Thanks for another great night in bed Ann.

To which she promptly replied:

I am glad to hear that you had a great night in bed with Ann but I suggest that you tell her rather than a complete stranger. You might also ask Ann for her telephone number.

My Vocation

13 May, 2010
Posted in: Siblings, Work

My sister often asks me for advice as to where she should eat in Dublin. I sent her to Alexis in Dun Laoghaire and got this text message “Hi, restaurant was great. Give up current job and provide restaurant recommendations. There is where you skill lies.” Having just had a report I wrote massacred by a committee, I am inclined to think that she might be right.

Recovering

29 April, 2010
Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Siblings, Twins, Work, Youngest Child

I’ve been saving this up until I could get back online.

One Saturday afternoon, the Princess went out with a friend and his mother for a birthday treat, Mr. Waffle went to the supermarket, I cut the grass and the boys played upstairs with a little girl who lives on our road. Later that evening, after the children had eaten dinner I went upstairs to dress to go out. It was only then that I discovered that my sons and their little visitor had taken off the shelves, out of baskets, out of cupboards and out of wardrobes everything their little four year old mitts could reach. In all the bedrooms. The Princess’s room was knee deep in tat. I couldn’t even open her door. I roared at the two boys. They lay on the ground and bawled contrition. I continued to roar at them. I was so furious that I STILL don’t feel bad about that. At this point the babysitter arrived and asked, in awed tones, whether we had taken photos. As we had to leave, our priority was to clear a path to the beds so that the children could get into them at some point later in the evening. I was most displeased. I think that this may well be the boys’ earliest memory.

As though this were not bad enough, the following day we had the Princess’s birthday party. This normally hair raising event passed off relatively peacefully due to the following factors: the party was only two hours long; my sister came to help and made the birthday cake; we hired professional help; one of the invitees was 11 and more like an extra helper than a guest; the weather though not sunny was dry and the children were able to run in the garden; and, all the parents collected their offspring on time.

Much entertainment in the office with stories of colleagues stuck all over Europe under a cloud of volcanic ash; ferries fully booked; general hilarity on the part of those not stuck in Cherbourg where colleagues comprehensively fail to see the humour. All back to normal now. Until the next Icelandic volcano.

The Romantic at Work

19 January, 2010
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Work

Me: Listen to the seagulls.
Colleague: Yes, they are very excitable today.
Me: Imagine, before this building was here, centuries ago when the Vikings were here, even before that when there was no Dublin at all, the same seagulls were screeching around the sky on this very site.
Colleague: Well, hardly the same seagulls.
Me: OK, not exactly the same seagulls…

A martyr to grammar

23 December, 2009
Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Work

My husband is doing a bit of occasional lecturing work to keep us from starvation. He gave his students an essay recently. The texts are now in and it appears that the majority of his students are completely illiterate. His last lecture of the term focussed on what is likely to come up in the examination in January. He prefaced it by announcing that the thing most likely to increase their success in the examination was gaining a working knowledge of the use of the apostrophe. “How did they take that?” I asked. “They only started writing when I told them the topics they needed to cover for the examination.” I understand that Sophocles had similar problems with the younger generation.

Meanwhile, I too suffer for my love of grammar. Consider the following email exchange.

From: Former colleague A
To: Former colleague B
CC: Me
Subject: Lunch

I had mentioned to Anne we were meeting up and took the liberty of asking her along on Tuesday – is that ok with you? We can always gag her if she keeps talking about Cork!

From: Former colleague A
To: Me
Subject: Lunch

[In response to indignant reply from me]. So, is next Tuesday, ok?

From: Me
To: FCA
Subject: Lunch

Good.

From: FCA
To: Me
Subject: Lunch

Is that an endorsement of my literary style, a reflection of inner well being, or an indication of attendance?

From: Me
To: Former colleague A
Subject: Lunch

No, no and yes.

From: Former colleague A
To: Me
Subject: Lunch

How dare you insult my writings

From: Me
To: Former colleague A
Subject: Lunch

You forgot the question mark.

From: Former colleague A
To: Me
Subject: Lunch

I see your own literary style still tends to pedantic.

Oh very funny

16 November, 2009
Posted in: Work

From: Me
Sent: 16 November 2009 12:13
To: IT Helpdesk
Subject: My printer will only print instruction pages in Swedish

Any advice?

From: IT Helpdesk
Sent: 16 November 2009 13:19
To: Me
Subject: RE: My printer will only print instruction pages in Swedish

Learn Swedish.

Regards
Helpdesk

And a couple of links:

Don’t be a nanny in Dubai.

Belle de Jour outs herself as a scientist, what a surprise, we were sure that she was an arts graduate.

The Americans are excercised by Obama’s bowing.

From the PhD comic people, so true:

phd

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