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Questionable Wisdom


Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Princess

They had a Christmas quiz, in English, in the Princess’s class. One of the questions was, “What did the wise men bring to the baby Jesus?” Mostly, the answers the teams came up with were the standard ones: gold, frankincense and myrrh. One table, however, came up with “gold frankincense and fingers”. If you speak Irish no further clues are available as to why they reached the unlikely conclusion that the baby Jesus received a gift of fingers.

If you do not, you should know that the Irish for gold, frankincense and myrrh is ór, frankincense agus myrhh [our celtic ancestors, I suppose, not having much experience of or need for the last items, there are no particular Irish words for them]. The Irish word for finger is méar. Do you see where we are coming from here?

Christmas Disasters


Posted in: Family, Princess

The other day the Princess and I were working on the composition of a poem about the Titanic [do they learn anything in school but information about the Titanic? All three of my children have far more information about it than might be thought necessary for a generalist] when an unpleasant smell assaulted my nostrils and I was off to the kitchen like a coursing hare leaving the Titanic to fend for itself (insert your own joke here).

Not only had the pot in which I was gently steaming my plum pudding boiled dry but the metal steamer on which the pudding bowl was sitting had lost a leg and the plastic at the bottom of the bowl had melted through the holes in the steamer rendering pot, steamer and pudding a lost cause.

I made cranberry and orange sauce and gave my sister a jar to take back to Cork. She packed it carefully with a camel coloured coat. Do I need to say that the jar lost its lid? I think not.

On the plus side, the teacher was taken with the Princess’s poem on the Titanic and stuck it up on the wall of the classroom.

Share your own mild Christmas disasters. Please.

Haircut


Posted in: Princess

I have had my annual haircut.

The children took pictures; this may explain my slightly manic look but, maybe that’s the way I look all the time.

Before:

2014-12-03 16.00.59

And after:

2014-12-07 12.59.37

It’s shorter. Herself reported to me that on observing that she was wearing nail varnish the childminder reproved her. He pointed out that her mother wore no make up and had preserved her “jeunesse naturelle”. “And,” as I said “he’s French which makes it even better”. He said that before the haircut, mind you.

Naughty or Nice?


Posted in: Middle Child, Twins, Youngest Child

Michael: Are the Santa traps in place?
Daniel: Yes.
Michael: Don’t say what they are, he might hear us.
Daniel: What will we do if we catch him?
Michael: We’ll tiptoe up and then…boom, a knife straight to the heart!
Me (yelping): What?
Michael: He’s a stalker, “he knows when you’re asleep/he knows when you’re awake” and then he goes creeping around people’s houses at night.
Daniel: And those elves, they don’t get paid and if they don’t work hard enough, he tosses them out in the snow.

What are we to make of this, gentle reader?

Party On


Posted in: Dublin, Family, Ireland

Yesterday we had a Christmas party from 4-7 for friends and neighbours. The invitation specified that children were welcome. We discovered that not only does everyone we know now have children but they are also quite big – 5-10 age range. Babies were few on the ground which was very odd.

We paid two local teenagers to help out and although that definitely helped, I was still a shadow of my former self at the end. Of course, no one arrived until 4.15 and between 3.45 when the teenagers arrived and 4.15 we all sat looking at each other and feeling excruciatingly awkward, as well as friendless (us, not the teenagers). However, people more than made up for it and vast numbers came and it was actually quite pleasant, if busy. As a bonus, we now have enough chocolate and alcohol to take us through the Christmas season in exchange for some tepid mulled wine and a soggy mince pie for everyone in the audience, so, a win all round, I guess.

Saint Nicolas, Patron des Ecoliers


Posted in: Belgium, Twins, Youngest Child

Did I mention that, on the 6th of December, Saint Nicolas came to our house? We did think that since it is now 6 and a half years since we have lived in a jurisdiction where he has authority, he might give us a skip but the children were adamant that no, he should come. I blame myself. I offered Daniel 50 cents to read a French book aloud. He picked “T’choupi fête Noël” which had the dual advantage of being seasonal and short. As he read aloud the doings of the festive mole, it all came flooding back.

So, in fairness to him, at quite short notice, St. Nicolas came in line with expectations. He just brought some chocolates and crisps in accordance with his reduced obligations in this jurisdiction. This did not stop Michael sleeping on the floor beside his bedroom door in a state of advanced excitement or him waking me at 6.30 in some distress as Saint Nicolas had brought him the wrong type of crisps.