Herself: Are those your feet that I’m touching under the table?
Me: Yes.
Her: Who would have thought your tiny legs would stretch so far?
Me: Look who’s talking; you’re not exactly tall.
Her: Yes but I’m elfin; you’re a hobbit.
Jumping the Shark
I emailed herself a link to an article about Malala Yousafzai. She emailed back, type “what does the fox say” into google. It took me a couple of moments to work this out but let me spare you that mental effort: this has nothing to do with the girl from Pakistan. It leads to a youtube cult Norwegian video. Finally, I know what the young people are looking at, although the fact that I know this means that pop culture has moved on.
This is the first time I have written the expression “jumping the shark”. I see it’s been around since 1977. I guess it’s jumped the shark.
I Need Glasses
This evening I said “Hello Puss” to the cat who was sitting on the stairs. On closer inspection, it turned out to be the axe that Michael has fashioned from tin foil for Halloween.
Scripture Analysis at Dinner
Herself: Do you know which Gospel story I think is the most unfair?
Daniel: The Prodigal Son?
Me: Martha and Mary?
Her: No, no, it’s the one where the labourers work all day and those who were recruited in the morning get the same as the ones taken on at lunchtime and in the last hour.
Me: But, if it was fair to them in the morning, then why should it not be fair in the evening? What does it matter that the same price was paid to people who worked less? If they thought it was fair in the morning, then it’s still fair at sunset, surely?
Her: No, it’s not. They didn’t know he was going to be such an idiot as to pay the same to people taken on in the last hour or they wouldn’t have thought it was fair. It’s really unfair.
Me: Well, anyway, I think it’s about getting into the Kingdom of Heaven and the idea is if you truly believe and repent your sins and so on, even at the last moment, then you will get in.
Her: Well that’s not fair either and anyhow, that thing about the workers is UNFAIR.
Me: But it’s not…
Mr. Waffle [cutting across]: I think we can agree that Jesus didn’t understand industrial relations.
Not Getting Any Younger
My driving licence has just expired. I had to get a new passport photo. Compare and contrast.
Why is my neck getting shorter?
How My Mind Works
Colleague: Who is looking after this?
Me: B but she is in Brussels and A but she’s in Corfu.
Colleague: What’s A doing in Corfu?
Me: No, no, not Corfu, hang on, Corfu is in Greece which begins with G, no sorry she’s in Geneva.
Colleague: I pity your husband.