Daniel: I had a nightmare.
Me: What happened?
Daniel: I was playing the x-box and a monster came out and attacked me.
I fear we may have over-indulged somewhat on the x-box although, as all he plays is FIFA 13, I am at a loss to work out where the monster comes from. Insert your own joke about Arsène Wenger here.
Me: Daniel, shut the door behind you please.
Him: Slave driver!
Daniel lost another tooth on June 19. He’s still enjoying sticking his tongue through the gap.
Daniel: There’s no gravity on the moon.
Me: Actually there is, it’s just less.
Herself: Why is that?
Me: Well objects kind of attract stuff to them and the larger the object the harder it attracts – the moon is much smaller than the earth so gravity is less. At least, I think that’s how it works.
Herself: Are we lighter on the moon?
Me: Um, I think this is about the difference between mass and weight. Let me think, you have the same mass everywhere but your weight is different because of gravity.
Daniel: Is there mass on the moon?
Me: Yes, that’s it, mass is the same everywhere.
Daniel: Do they have churches on the moon?
Daniel: I fooled you!
Me: How did you do that?
Daniel: You told me not to wear yesterday’s socks again today.
Me: And you didn’t, you can’t fool me, that’s not the pair you were wearing yesterday.
Him: But look what is under today’s pair!
My Aunt: When I was younger, I wanted our family to enter one of these family quizzes on the television where you could win a holiday; your father would have been brilliant.
Me: Mmm, he does know everything but I doubt he would have liked the idea much. What did he say to you?
Her: Would you sell your dignity that cheaply?