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Taking my life in my hands

16 September, 2009
Posted in: Ireland

When I say that I cycle in and out of work, people treat me as though I am some kind of lunatic. When I say that I do it without a helmet and a high visibility jacket (in daytime people), they decide that I am a weird freak and try to talk to someone else. Dubliners firmly believe that there is nothing more dangerous than going out on a bike. My father cycled until he was 80. I cycled in and out to school regularly as a teenager, I cycled in Brussels (ok I didn’t cycle in Rome but that was because I had a moped), I feel cycling is safe enough. I even did a bit of research on it, so phased was I by the horror and awe with which my activities were treated. It’s safe enough. In fact, having cycled to work for many years, I think Dublin is far safer now than it used to be: no juggernauts on the quays; far more cycle lanes; extended car free zones.

Recently, Dublin has put in place a free bike scheme like Paris, Brussels and Copenhagen. The Irish media being what it is, this has been a national news story for well over a week now. This has tempted cautious Dubliners to try out the bicycles. There was a man on the telly the other night who announced joyfully that he had cycled up and down O’Connell Street. Something that he could have achieved very easily even before the scheme was introduced but he had just been too scared. Still, I do feel it’s a good thing. There seem to be far more bikes on the roads which, of course, makes it safer for everyone. Every hire bike rack I pass has someone struggling excitedly with the technology. In fact, the only real danger in all this is when someone who hasn’t cycled for 20 years wobbles nervously into my way on the cycle path but this is a price I am more than willing to pay to get more of us out on the roads.

Random Tales from the Front

15 September, 2009
Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Twins

As Mr. Waffle’s family are keen orienteers, we have taken the children out a couple of times, almost invariably to groans of protest. Yesterday, for the first time, we went without the cousins or other supportive Waffle family members. As Mr. Waffle signed up, I could hear the nice people saying, “Now, it’s very important to hand in your card, even if you don’t finish” and other basic bits of advice. Mr. Waffle nodded politely but as this showed signs of running on, I said, “Tell them your secret, tell them you’re G’s brother.” The effect on the organisers was almost comical. They instantly began to apologise for providing such basic information to one nearly related to G and asked anxiously where he and his esteemed father were. My brother-in-law is very popular in certain circles. Perhaps inspired by this close interest in our progress, for the very first time we put in results which did not feature in the ignominious DNF category. We also got burnt to a cinder because I did not believe we could get sunburnt in Ireland in September.

While supervising the children in the nearby playground, I was approached by a trendy young man with a beard who turned out to be a former colleague from Brussels who has just moved to Ireland to do his PhD. Just as I had been complaining to Mr. Waffle that we only knew Irish people here is my Latvian ex-colleague and his partner to add cosmopolitan student glamour to our lives.

This playground was also the site of the usual embarrassing moment that is part of any day spent with small children. I was queuing with Daniel for a particularly popular attraction when he turned to me and said in aggrieved and carrying tones, “That girl said I was a little boy.” “You’re not a little boy, you’re a BIG boy,” I said and then my evil genius prompted me to add, “Who said such a thing to you?” He pointed to a very large teenager and said clearly (he articulates wonderfully) and loudly, “That fat girl over there.” Covered in mortification, I whispered to him, “Darling, don’t say loudly that she’s fat, it’s rude.” To which he replied with disastrous clarity “But why can’t I say she’s fat, she IS.”

What do grown-ups do for fun?

14 September, 2009
Posted in: Middle Child, Twins

Daniel: Mummy, where are you going?
Me: Out with friends, sweetheart.
Him: To a dinner party?
Me: No.
Him: To a party?
Me: No, just my bookclub.
Him: Will there be wine?

Guilty day off

13 September, 2009
Posted in: Family, Mr. Waffle

I took Friday off work and Mr. Waffle and I went walking in the Wicklow hills. The weather was beautiful and the views were beautiful. All we could hear, high in the hills was birdsong, bees and a particularly loud boy racer whizzing around the twisting road visible in the distance. I would post a picture but we left the camera behind. Oh yes, take only memories, leave only footprints. In my case quite deep, squelchy footprints. The bog hasn’t dried up much despite the extraordinarily fine weather. Regretfully, on returning home, I decided it was time to consign my Nike runners, purchased in Bosnia in 1995, to the bin.

We had tea in the Glencree Centre for Peace and Reconciliation. I cannot really say how they are at peace and reconciliation but I wouldn’t really recommend it as a tea stop. Inappropriately, it was there that we decided to dispose of our principles and buy the boys toy guns for their birthday. I thought that you should be the first to know.

We had a lovely day in the warm sunshine as our children toiled at school and, as punishment, when we got home, we found this note from the school in their bags:

swine flu

If only we hadn’t sneaked off on our own, none of this would have happened.

The ugly truth

12 September, 2009
Posted in: Middle Child, Twins

Children are distressingly honest. A frequent plea is “Mummy, can I play with your pizza dough tummy”. How I wish I was making this up. Frequent “Mummy, your teeth are yellow” comments led to a recent trip to the dentist for a clean and polish. Upon my return, I was told, “They’re still yellow.” I blame the Americans.

On the plus side, the other morning Daniel said to me, “Mummy you look beautiful, your dress is lovely, everyone at work will say you are beautiful. I also like your sparkly eye-shadow.”

Book club

10 September, 2009
Posted in: Princess, Reading etc.

Me: Would you like to read…let me see, I still think you’re too small for the Narnia books, “The Railway Children” is a bit hard as is “A Little Princess”…
Her: Oh “A Little Princess” is that the one with Sara and her slave Becky?
Me: Um, yes, and the nice family.
Her: And they call her the-little-girl-who-is-not-a-beggar.
Me: Yes!
Her: And she has a French lesson and she can already speak French.
Me: Yes, yes and there’s Lottie and the mean headmistress.
Her: Miss Munchkin.
Me: Um, I think that’s Miss Minchin but YES.
Her: And she is sent to live in the attic.
Me: And it’s so sad, her father dies and they are so mean to her (my eyes start to water at the thought of the many cruelties imposed on brave little Sara).
Her: Don’t cry Mummy, it all turns out well in the end. [Pause] Although her father is still dead.

The under-7s are a bit heartless aren’t they?

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