• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

belgianwaffle

  • Home
  • About
  • Archives

Learnt at my mother’s knee

5 December, 2007
Posted in: Family

A friend of mine said recently that she wasn’t surprised that adults who were mistreated by their parents tend to mistreat their children. She pointed out that at moments of stress we are all inclined to reach for what we heard or experienced ourselves from our own parents. This is certainly true for me.

There are favourite phrases my mother used with me that I find myself using very regularly, a sample:

Me: How many people are there in this family?
Small voice: 5
Me: Not just one?
Small voice: No, 5

Or “All I want is for everyone to be happy”. Or “This place looks like a bomb hit it” Or “You would drive a horse from his oats”. Or “You would try the patience of a saint”. Or “Sometimes in life, you can’t have everything you want.”  Or “Do you think we are made of money?” Or “Don’t mind me, I’ll just sit here in the dark while you enjoy yourselves”

Alright, that last one I made up, but you get the picture.

Big Plans

4 December, 2007
Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess

Her: When I grow up, I want to be a Madame Pipi [guardian of the toilets in Belgian bars and cinemas, you must cross her palm with silver before being allowed to proceed to the inner sanctum]
Us: Why?
Her: Because then I would get money.
Us: Good reason.

Later

Her: What’s a philosopher?
Me: Someone who wonders about the meaning of life.
Her: I want to be a philosopher when I grow up.
Him: Excellent combination with a Madame Pipi post.

Later still

Me: Is she asleep?
Him: No, she’s still bouncing around. She wants me to come back to her with the answer to a question.
Me: And what is your starter for ten?
Him: ‘Why does life exist?’

Christmas Spirit or the first weekend of Advent

3 December, 2007
Posted in: Belgium, Princess, Twins

I know that Saturday was only December 1 but I thought we’d get a Christmas tree as we are going to Ireland on the 20th. While, in theory, I really admire the Belgians for not making Christmas a two month orgy, I was, nevertheless, slightly peeved when having promised herself that we would decorate one while the boys napped, there were no Christmas trees to be had.

30 days of non-stop blogging and a nasty head cold had taken their toll on me and I retired to bed for a nap after lunch and slept until, eeek, 3.23. Catastrophe. Despite rousing the boys and chivying the Princess we only managed to get out the door at 4.23 meaning that we arrived at the Grand Place at 4.55 which, I can tell you was a herculean effort involving much sprinting and mincing the ankles of innocent tourists with our buggy. Alas, too late. Saint Nicolas and his donkey, his brass band, his little black helpers (I know, I know) and his supply of free sweets had gone leaving only a mound of sweet wrappers to mark his passing. The Princess bawled. I nearly cried myself. To add insult to injury, another Saint Nicolas was in the Grand Place surrounded by an anxious band of kiddies and their parents. Unfortunately, he and his helpers were there to do a photo shoot and didn’t want children in the way so this was, possibly, the only Santa on earth who shooed children away. My poor little mites held out their hands longingly to touch the great man’s cloak and were brushed away by angry men saying “Stand back, stand back”. If I could have found out what they were advertising I would tell you so that you could boycott it.

We pushed off to look at the live crib and they were interested in the sheep. Mr. Waffle then had the genius idea of taking them to the merry-go-round which saved our bacon and largely wiped out the memory of mean Santa.

Saint Nicolas normally comes on the night of December 5 in Belgium, however, he is a busy man and he comes to different houses at different times. He came to us on Saturday night. The Princess reverently placed a carrot for his donkey inside the door on a plastic lid. She lined up her shoes and the boys’. She agonised that Saint Nicolas might not know where to put the presents in the absence of a Christmas tree but we reassured her. We put out a special tablecloth and left out for Saint Nicolas two speculoos biscuits and a bottle of Christmas beer (this is Belgium, of course Saint Nicolas drinks beer). I put the Princess to bed and read her her story – “The Night before Christmas”. “Put it on the table for Saint Nicolas to read, big people like to have something to read while they’re eating”

Saint Nicolas and his donkey came and polished off their treats. The Princess got a bicycle. Oh the excitement. It was fantastic. The boys were slightly less entranced with their wooden toys and felt that, if he were any good, Saint Nicolas would have brought them bicycles too. Some squabbling ensued only partially resolved by distribution of the chocolate, mandarins and marzipan pigs left in the children’s shoes (the hygiene implications of this are mildly alarming but since Michael yesterday bent down and tasted the water in a puddle we probably have more serious concerns, like Weil’s disease).

The day was young, we’d all been up since 6.30. This gave us ample time to make 9.00 mass, almost on time though the Princess cycled and I walked with the boys. They were really keen to walk so I let them, a decision I had ample opportunity to regret as I marshalled them towards the church in the driving rain over a period of 20 long minutes.

We had intended to go to Antwerp Zoo to meet the Dutch Mama and her family (it being a half way point between Brussels and the Hague) but the cold driving rain had really put me off even though the children were very hyped up. We took them home and put them in front of Barney while we telephoned back and forth to the Hague to decide what we would do. I think it was in Dooce that I read that it’s not Barney that’s sinister but those stage struck children who play with him. This is true. My daughter is turning into them. She’s a great little mimic (she does an excellent English accent based on her friend L’s diction which she just puts on all the time except when I want to record it for youtube ‘before cars everyone had hosses’ ‘horses’ ‘yes hosses”) and it’s slightly terrifying. I digress. The Dutch Mama’s husband is some kind of nuclear engineer and when the nuclear disaster comes it is he who will be limiting the damage. It is therefore comforting that he is a precise and thorough man but I still had some difficulty believing his claim that though it was raining in Brussels and the Hague “the rain in Antwerp stopped three minutes ago”. In the end, we went. We had no alternative plan and we feared being rent limb from limb by the children, if they didn’t get to the zoo.

I’ve never been to the zoo in Antwerp before. It’s next door to the station and, therefore, right in the centre of town, overlooked by apartment buildings. It is very odd but strangely endearing. It has an out of town arm (Plankendael) which I have never liked (memorably we once paid 42 euros to get into Plankendael and wallow in the mud and a further 16 to make our own sandwiches) but is strangely popular with other people. I did like the Zoo though. Since it was mostly pouring rain, we largely had the place to ourselves. The children were delighted to meet again and so were their parents. While the parents were somewhat unenthused by the icy driving rain, the children didn’t seem to mind. And we had the burger restaurant to ourselves except for a couple of pigeons (again, those niggling hygiene concerns). I know zoos aren’t really very nice for the animals but as we stood there huddling together (the adults, the children were haring around delighted with themselves) in the rain looking in at the monkeys in their nice warm dry climate controlled glass boxes, it was hard not to feel a tiny bit envious. I’d still go back like a flash though.

The Dutch Mama and I have a thriving system of clothing exchange for children and I had brought her a big bag of things (mostly hers now going back to her to kit out her extremely cute new baby – quite possibly the best child in the world – she spent her time at the zoo smiling or sleeping, mind you, she was in her buggy with its waterproof cladding). Having brought them all the way to Antwerp, I was determined to hand them over. Once Michael slipped on his bottom in the mud in the zoo our time there was up. We decided to cut our losses and head for home. We entered into a complex arrangement whereby Mr. Waffle would hand the bag of clothes over to Mr. Dutch Mama at the zoo gates. He did so while I stayed with my children in the car and the hardy Dutch children continued their exploration of the zoo with their Mama. I would like to say now that I appreciate that a paper bag full of clothes and weighing a ton was probably not the best container for a wet wet wet day. I am hoping that a) the bag didn’t dissolve and b) the Dutch contingent will some day forgive me.

Suggestions

30 November, 2007
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Reading etc.

So here are your suggestions for authors, I haven’t tried:

Martin Cruz Smith

Robertson Davies

Anita Desai

William Faulkner

Richard Ford

Tove Jansson

Thomas Kenneally

Clive King (“Stig of the Dump” – assume that is name of work rather than author’s pseudonym)

Robert Le Carre

Beryl Markham (keeping up with comments)

Alexandr Solzhenitsyn

Colm Toibin (actually I have read “The Blackwater Lightship and wouldn’t mind trying another, so I’m not sure he counts).

Alan Warner

Emile Zola – My husband says I would like “Au Bonheur des Dames” it’s all about shopping and women.

Anyone else you want to suggest adding? I’ll give all of the above a go. I will add them to the list of well-reviewed, interesting sounding books which I have typed on a piece of paper and folded up in the back of my diary. You don’t believe me? Do.
So that’s it for another NaBloPoMo. Hats off to the fair Mrs. Kennedy for co-ordinating. I am not only saying that in the hope of getting a random prize.
Thank you also to my regular commenters during the month. I am hopeless at replying to comments but I love and treasure every one; without you I would have given it all up as a bad job.

The man going down to the basement to put out the laundry has just looked over my shoulder and said “NaBloPoGo”. Maybe I should stop now.

One final item of news; Daniel broke his glasses yesterday. Sigh.

Some omissions

29 November, 2007
Posted in: Reading etc.

My husband points out to me that following this exercise, he has realised that I appear not to like three quarters of the books on our shelves. My sister-in-law says I am difficult to please. Looking at the list below, I think they may be right. Here are some of the books I have that I didn’t include in my favourite books list for NaBloPoMo. And also some that I should have and forgot. But mostly, they’re books I hate, yet won’t give away.

Albom, Mitch – I bought “The Five People you meet in Heaven” before boarding a plane because Waterstone’s had put one of those “our booksellers like” handwritten labels on it. It is the worst book I have ever read. Never trust Waterstone’s. I’d give it away to anyone.

Alcott, Louisa May – Fine but certainly not a favourite.

Ali, Monica – “Brick Lane” was not enjoyable. I just didn’t like it. I don’t care if my consciousness was raised.

Amis, Martin and Kingsley – Very readable, funny in places and, if their names began with Z, they would definitely have made the cut.

Auster, Paul – When “The New York Trilogy” came out, a number of my friends loved it. I did not. It is baffling.

Bainbridge, Beryl – I read “According to Queeney” and it was grand but I wouldn’t be rushing back for more.

Barker, Nicola – I read “Five Miles from Outer Hope” because it was set in the South West of England and I am very fond of that part of the world and in particular Burgh Island which is fabulous (though the food in the hotel is dear and bad, the hotel is absolutely wonderful). My sister used to work in Plymouth and I visited her there many times. It was a pity that she hated it and doesn’t like beaches. The book is literary and a bit tiring. Great setting though.

Barnes, Julian – A bit clever for his own good, isn’t he?

Bennett, Alan – I know everyone loves him. I don’t. He’s alright.

Bennett, Ronan – I actually really enjoyed “Havoc in its Third Year” but I’m reserving judgement until I’ve tried another book of his. He is has great potential to be gloomy, difficult and unrewarding.

Borroughs Augusten – “Running with Scissors” got such great reviews and it was so disappointing.

Byatt, A.S. – I did like “Possession” but it was so long I just couldn’t face rereading or trying anything else.

Burney, Fanny – I did like “Evelina” in a sort of “look, it’s famous, I’ve read it and it wasn’t too bad” kind of way. I’m not going to rush back for more.

Carey, Peter – I have read two books by Peter Carey. I am now sure that I do not like him.

Carter, Angela – Fine, I suppose. But not earth shattering.

Chevalier, Tracy – I got given one of her books “Falling Angels” by a friend. I felt it was one of those books that deliberately exploits the sentimental. I am sentimental. I don’t like that.

Cooper, Jilly – I finally read a Jilly Cooper. “Wicked” is rotten. I am devastated.

Coetzee, J.M. – Oh God, so hard and so depressing.

Cunningham Michael – I got a present of “Specimen Days” just before the boys were born and took it into hospital with me. It was too weird and science fictiony at the end (and I am a friend of science fiction). It was well written and something of a page turner so I suppose, not too bad when you are in labour. Not great either though.

De Bernieres, Louis – I don’t see it. Why does everyone love these dull, dull books with their twee characters? I bought Kathryn Flett’s “The heart-shaped Bullet” because I really enjoy her journalism but I didn’t like it all. The icing on the cake was when she described going on holidays with her ex-husband and reading bloody Captain Corelli. She felt that that the ex was dreadful because he couldn’t like that book. I really warmed to her ex at that point.

Eco, Umberto – Too hard. “The Name of the Rose” was OK but I am going to draw some sweeping conclusions on detective fiction later so wait for that.

Edwards, Kim – I am a sucker for things that look like they might be readable. I was bitterly disappointed with the best-selling “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter”. I won’t be trying her again.

Eliot, George – We did “Silas Marner” in school. Arguably, it’s not that great a book to do with teenage girls in a convent school. Anyhow, I knew where I stood with George Eliot until, some years later, I got chatting to a handsome man at a party who said “so many people are put off George Eliot because of ‘Silas Marner’ [it’s a standard text in Ireland], you have to read ‘Middlemarch’ it’s wonderful”. It’s not. Or, at least, not for me. And worse, I read it twice because I felt I might not have given it a fair hearing when I read it first. My sister-in-law sent me “The Mill on the Floss” on tape. Now I appreciate that that may not be entirely fair to the novel but it was quite enough to finally convince me that there will be no more George Eliot in my life, I’ve suffered enough.

Faulks, Sebastian – Am I the only person who found “Birdsong” tedious?

Franzen, Jonathan – Not for me thanks. You know, dysfunctional families, they’re fine but how many do you need?

Frazier, Charles – When the Princess was born, I took two books into hospital. One was the wonderful “What I loved” possibly my favourite grown-up book. The other was “Cold Mountain”. God, I hated that book. I don’t care about his trip home, I just wished he would bloody get there and it could all be over.

Fowles, John – I have only one comment on “The French Lieutentant’s Woman”. Why?

Garcia Marquez, Gabriel – I tried three of his books before washing my hands of magical realism for good.

Gaiman, Neil – Oh, so dreadfully disappointing. I had great hopes.

Golding, William – We did “The Lord of the Flies” in school. I can see that it is good. But I still don’t like it.

Gordimer, Nadine – Good. I suppose. But hard work and depressing.

Graves, Robert – Misfiled. I liked “Goodbye to all that” and the Claudius books.

Grisham, John – Dreadful.

Haddon, Mark – Misfiled. Only read “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time” but enjoyed it.

Hardy, Thomas – I loved Hardy’s poems in school but I have never read any of his books. I was given “Jude the Obscure” on tape by my sister-in-law and it convinced me not to try the novels. I could be unconvinced, possibly.

Hollinghurst, Alan – God, wasn’t “The Line of Beauty” tedious?

Heller, Zoe – “Notes on a Scandal” was good but in a way that wouldn’t remotely tempt me to try any of her other work.

Kadare, Ismail – I’ve read a couple of his books because they sound so interesting and I like the Balkans. I think I’ll stop now though.

Kerouac, Jack – “On the Road” is tedious like a long, long trip in the back of the car.

Kundera, Milan – Unbearable. At length. Lots of sex

Kureshi, Hanif – Really unbearable. Lots of sex

LeCarre, John etc. – I have never tried one of Mr. Le Carre’s books. For some reason, I don’t like thrillers. I should because I love plot driven books but somehow thrillers don’t engage me. I have tried authors as various as Patricia Cornwall, Ruth Rendell, Michael Dibden, Rex Stout, Raymond Chandler and Kathy Reichs and I don’t like them. Mind you, I didn’t mind that Robert Harris thing “The Ghost” but I think that was mostly because I was thinking about Tony and Cherie.

Lee, Harper – Misfiled. Everyone loves “To Kill a Mockingbird”, including me.

Lee, Laurie – Don’t like him. Tried “Cider with Rosie” and “As I walked out one Midsummer morning” and I didn’t like him. I also usually blame him for “Fair Stood the Wind for France” but, in fact, that’s H.E. Bates.

Lessing, Doris – I have only read “Ben in the World” and it was brutal, to be honest. Perhaps not one of her happier works. Prepared to give a volume of her autobiography a go. Particularly since I bought it a couple of years ago and it is still in the pile beside my bed.

Lodge, David – Alright, I suppose, can be funny. But, if I’m looking for funny, I’d look elsewhere first.

Lurie, Alison – I feel that I should like Alison Lurie. I have only read “The War between the Tates” and it didn’t exactly encourage me to try anything else.

McCabe, Patrick – Just too weird and disturbing for me. Brilliant and all that but not nice.

McCourt, Frank – Twee.

Mantel, Hilary – I read “The Giant, O’Brien” and I could see that it was very good but I found it depressing and disturbing. Enough thanks.

Mitchell, David – Actually, “Black Swan Green” was very good but “Cloud Atlas”? I dunno.

Morrison, Toni – Now, there’s depressing.

Munro, Alice – I know I should like Alice Munro: short stories, domestic, beautifully written, but I just don’t.

Nabokov, Vladimir – “Lolita” is good but “Bend Sinister” has been waiting for my attention for a long time.

Nazeer, Kamran – Misfiled. A brilliant factual book about autism by an autistic author.

Niffinger, Audrey – I didn’t like “The Time Traveller’s Wife”, it was unconvincing and not for the reasons you might be entitled to expect.

Norton, Graham – I got a present of his autobiography. He’s from Cork, you know. He wrote the book himself (I mean it wasn’t ghosted, don’t be sarky) and it’s very, very good until he becomes famous. Then it’s dull.

O’Connor, Joe – I quite liked his early stuff, the funny books. I most emphatically did not like “Star of the Sea” and I have no intention of subjecting myself to “Redemption Falls” which in a way is a pity because he seems like such a nice man. In fairness, he never ever made anything of the fact that his sister is Sinead O’Connor even when she was famous and he was not. Is he more famous than she is now? I looked up one of his old books and, as far as I know, this is the only mention he ever made of her. It was his world cup diary:

“I am overjoyed to discover that there is a karaoke lounge directly beneath my bedroom. the fans are loudly singing hit songs and inserting the world ‘Ireland’ into them at every opportunity… the high point of the evening, for me, is when my dear sister Sinead’s poignant lament “Nothing Compares 2 U” is sublimely reinterpreted as “Nothing Compares 2 Phil Babb”.

Okri, Ben – I have been reading “The Famished Road” for well over a year. Maybe Ben and I should call it quits.

Orwell, George – Yeah “1984” and all that. Hmm.

Oz, Amos – Have only read his immensely depressing autobiography. I suppose I learnt a lot about Israel and Eastern Europe.

Pearson, Harry – Misfiled. “Tall Man in a Low Land” is the funniest book I have read about Belgium.

Picoult, Jodi – “My Sister’s Keeper” is very readable in an exploit the sentimental reader kind of way. “Vanishing Acts” didn’t even have the page turning thing for me. I’m full thanks.

Plath, Sylvia – I read “The Bell Jar” when I was in college. It’s that kind of book. Gloomy. I know, what do I expect?

Proulx Annie – “The Fishing News” had its moments but I didn’t think much of “Brokeback Mountain” and “Accordian Crimes” is very much at the bottom of my pile to read.

Pynchon, Thomas – “Vineland”, oh God, even the memory is painful.

Rushdie, Salman – Quite liked “Midnight’s Children” actually but not enough to want to try anything else.

Salinger, J.D. – I don’t like “The Catcher in the Rye”. Anyone else out there? Anyone at all?

Sebold Alice – I thought that “The Lovely Bones” was grim and not really very good either.

Sebold, W.G. – Too vague in Austerlitz, too detailed in “The Rings of Saturn. At least I can see why other people like him, even if I don’t go for him myself?

Sittenfield, Curtis – Wasn’t “Prep” a very smug novel?

Smiley, Jane – I did like “A Thousand Acres” though my knowledge of King Lear is not extensive [Why do you think my father calls me Goneril?]. I did not, however, enjoy “The All-True Travels and Adventures of Lidie Newton” and I’ve given up on her.

Smith, Zadie – “White Teeth”, very clever and insightful for a 22 year old or whatever but I did not love it.  I am heartless.  Didn’t even like it much.

Steinbeck, John – Is it bad to say that I think he’s a bit sentimental?

Strachey, Lytton (or do you think that’s actually a double- barrelled surname?) – Misfiled. “Eminent Victorians” is a fantastically entertaining read. In fact, I think I’m going to haul it out again and contemplate his destruction of Florence Nightingale over the weekend.

Tan, Amy – I read one of her earlier books and quite liked it in a mild way but I thought that “Saving Fish from Drowning” was disappointing.

Tartt, Donna – I came to “The Secret History” under the inexplicable misapprehension that it was going to be about the hidden histories of women over the centuries. After that, it took me a while to get into it and I never really stopped wondering when they were going to talk in more detail about the serving women at the Bacchanal and what their back stories were.

Tremain, Rose – I found “Music and Silence” a bit slow though I now know a lot more about Denmark. Since I’m touching on Denmark, I didn’t like “Miss Smilla’s Feeling for Snow” much either. Well, not after she went off on that boat about half way through, anyway.

Trevor, William – A brilliant writer who writes dreadfully depressing stories.  I’m sure he’s a very nice man.  Somebody should gather up the courage to tell him that the young people don’t smoke Sweet Afton any more, see “Felicia’s Journey” for details.

Tolstoy, Leo – “War and Peace” had much too much war and not enough peace. I found the descriptions of endless battles dreadfully tedious though, as my then boyfriend unkindly pointed out, I had an added element of excitement as I was unsure whether Napoleon would or would not take Moscow, something most readers might be expected to know.

White, Edmund – The beautiful room is completely empty.

Wolfe, Tom – “The Bonfire of the Vanities”? Please, no. Good title though.

My God, are you still here? Well done. As I went through this list, I kept thinking of other books that displeased me, but you will be delighted to hear that I decided that, surely, this is enough.

You may also have noticed that I haven’t included any poets. I don’t dislike all poets; I am saving them for next November.

Tomorrow, I will gather together your suggestions and maybe I’ll have read at least a selection by next year.

Family Planning Suggestions

28 November, 2007
Posted in: Princess, Reading etc.

Her:  You don’t like me as much as you like the boys.

Me: Of course I do, sweetheart, my only little girl.

Her: I wouldn’t be your only little girl, if you had another baby.

Me: Would you like that, sweetheart?

Her: Hello?  Me, small baby?  Would I like that?  Do I like small babies Mummy?  I don’t think so.

NaBloPoMo – Z is for is for Zero and Zilch.  Tomorrow, I plan to tell you about some of the authors I’ve left out and why.  Something for you to look forward to.

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 447
  • Page 448
  • Page 449
  • Page 450
  • Page 451
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 592
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Flickr Photos

IMG_0909
More Photos
May 2026
M T W T F S S
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031
« Apr    

Categories

  • Belgium (149)
  • Cork (246)
  • Dublin (555)
  • Family (662)
  • Hodge (52)
  • Ireland (1,009)
  • Liffey Journal (7)
  • Middle Child (741)
  • Miscellaneous (68)
  • Mr. Waffle (711)
  • Princess (1,167)
  • Reading etc. (624)
  • Siblings (258)
  • The tale of Lazy Jack Silver (18)
  • Travel (240)
  • Twins (1,019)
  • Work (213)
  • Youngest Child (717)

Subscribe via Email

Subscribe Share
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.

To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
© 2003–2026 belgianwaffle · Privacy Policy · Write