belgianwaffle

Progress report


Posted in: Princess

Since our trip to the Hague, Mr. Dutch Mama (who is a tall Dutch man) has become the benchmark for big things in our house, which explains this conversation.

Her: I did a big, big, big wee.
Me: OK.
Her (frowning): Probably not as big as Mr. Dutch Mama’s wee though.

Just to let you know, that I got to partake of this moment this morning because I was heaving over the toilet while she was weeing in her potty.  And while I’m being revolting, yesterday, the Princess told me that bugs look like water biscuits and I had to tell her that no, these were just water biscuits that had spent the briefest moment in her stomach and come back up into the bucket.   Anyhow, you will be delighted to hear that she has a) entirely recovered and b) gone for her nap which gives me the opportunity to lie moaning on my bed with a bucket clutched in my limp grasp.  Once I’ve finished blogging, of course.

I bet you wish you were me.


Posted in: Princess, Twins

Last night at about 3 in the morning I was sitting up in bed with both boys.  Michael smiled up at me (he’s a cheerful little boy), vomitted all over me and fell back asleep.  I put him down and turned my attention to Daniel who was grumpy and very warm.  He reacted enthusiastically to this attention and vomitted all over me also.  So, we got up, changed the boys, stripped the bed, rinsed the duvet and pillows and dabbed ineffectually at the mattress, remade the bed, fed Daniel some Calpol and persuaded them to go back to sleep.  Poor Daniel passed a very miserable night and, in consequence, so did we.

This morning, the Princess inspected her sick little brother and announced “I’m sick too”.  “Hmm” I thought.  She took a bucket to bed for her nap in the afternoon “in case I get sick”.  And she did.  To prove me wrong she spent the remainder of the afternoon throwing up into a bucket while watching and rewatching Cinderella on the television.  They have all gone to bed now and the house is festooned with drying bed linen and duvets and it smells of vomit and disinfectant.  It’s delightful here.

Could it get better?  Oh yes, did I mention that Michael is getting his first tooth?

The ecowarrior and the ecoterrorist go shopping


Posted in: Mr. Waffle

Him: Where’s the Tesco “bag for life”?

Me: I threw it out.

Him (Gasps):  But it was a “bag for life”.

Me: But it had a hole.

Him: But they’ll replace it free of charge.

Me: Yes, in Tesco in Dublin.

I leave you to work out who imported this bag into Belgium.

Unanswerable


Posted in: Princess

Her: What noise does a butterfly make?

Me: A butterfly doesn’t make any noise, sweetheart.

Her: A butterfly is like a giraffe.

And in a completely unrelated matter, I always suspected that when BroLo began blogging, the best bit would be his description of communal life. I think that this post proves that I was right. You may like to wish the good Brother a happy birthday as I note from my birthday calendar that he will be a year older as of Friday week and, let’s face it, your card isn’t going to reach him in time.

Summer


Posted in: Belgium, Reading etc.

The weather is beautiful here today and I have just started working slightly reduced hours meaning that I have a half day on Wednesday.  The Princess and I have just lunched and she is now napping while I idle.  It all feels very illicit.  I have been using the time to catch up on old emails. Maybe this is a little mean, but let me quote to you an email text in full:

“Hi,
Sorry, but I’m a French spoken guy. I would like to know how jou translate “Choisir c’est renoncer” in English. Hint: in Dutch it’s: Kiezen is verliezen. By the way, do you know an English spoken guy who would be happy to correct my English … and I would correct his French. The problem is that because of my job when I post a request I need an answer rather quickly (a couple of hours ).  Thanks and Congratulations about your baby.”

OK, Fabian, since you ask, I too searched the internet to find “choisir c’cest renoncer” in English.  It was not there or at least I couldn’t find it and since you are mailing me and the title of my blog post was your best bet, I presume you experienced similar difficulties.  If it’s any comfort to you, I looked up the Oxford Dictionary of Quotations in hard copy and couldn’t find it there either.  Yes, this is a quality blog.  Thanks for the tip on the Dutch translation though, if I’d known that at the time, it would have made all the difference.

Tempting though your offer to an “english spoken guy” is, I’m afraid that I can’t, just now, identify someone who would be willing to provide a free English language revision check in a couple of hours, even in exchange for your kind offer to do likewise to a French text.

Thanks for congratulations on my baby, it makes your message so personal.  Actually, I have twins and a three year old: which particular baby did you wish to congratulate me on?  No, I am not bitter.  No, really.  The sun is shining and I only have two loads of washing to do.

Sic transit..


Posted in: Reading etc.

We’re still working our way through series 2 of the Sopranos.  Uncle Junior’s doctor shows up.

Me:  God, that doctor looks really familiar, was he in something else?

Him: Yeah, he looks familiar to me too, I can’t think where I know him from.

Me: The hair…

Him: And that patrician thing. Hang on, what’s his name?  George Bush’s opponent?

Me:  Oh yes, the swift boat veterans for truth guy.

Him:  Wait, wait.

Me:  I know it, I know it.

In unison: John Kerry.