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Shenanigans

9 June, 2022
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Twins

The school called me at work the other week. I was at a meeting. “They’ll just have to call Mr. Waffle,” I thought. Ten minutes later, Mr. Waffle called me. I thought I’d better step out and see what was up.

The school were incandescent. Daniel’s friends had shaved his head, at school, on the school premises, for a bet. He was €40 richer and a lot balder. They all got detention and missed the school sports day (his last as they don’t have one in 6th year, a shame) although one of them was unwise enough to point out to the authorities that there is no rule preventing shaving a school mate’s head during break. Unsurprisingly, this did not help.

It’s growing back and he has gone from bald to new army recruit at this point. Will he get the top of his head burnt when he goes to Rome for the week on Friday? Yes, yes, he will. Will his host family recognise him when they were expecting a floppy haired blond boy? That remains to be seen.

School is now over for this year. We can only rejoice.

Foiled

8 June, 2022
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

I am very jam ready this year. I have all the kit. I will be off work. Nothing can stop me. Have the plums failed? Yes, yes, they have. Could be a bumper year for apple jelly yet.

Matters Funereal

7 June, 2022
Posted in: Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Travel

A friend of mine’s brother died suddenly last month. He was 63 which is not as old as it once was and it was entirely unexpected.

I went up to leafy South Belfast for the funeral. I’ve never really ventured to the southern suburbs of Belfast before – I mean, why would I? – and I was surprised by just how pleasant and leafy it was.

The funeral was sad, the family were still in shock really. I had hoped that there would be more of a break between attending my friends’ parents funerals and their siblings’ funerals but there you are.

On my way back down to Dublin I stopped off at Lisburn for a look at the Linen Museum, advertised from the main road, in the firm belief that where there is a museum, there is a good tea shop. It is with regret that I inform you that this is not the case. I’d never been to Lisburn before. It’s a dormitory town for Belfast and on a Wednesday morning in May most of the inhabitants appeared to be school children or pensioners.

There was an exhibition in the museum on the foundation of Northern Ireland. A difficult time all round. I’m probably more used to a nationalist perspective on these matters. There was a panel about Oswald Swanzy’s murder. Not covered on the panel but it is my understanding that the local Cork IRA men asked to be deployed specially to Lisburn to take him out. If my experience is anything to go by, they must have stuck out like a sore thumb. I felt like I was the first Cork person to visit Lisburn since. Funny spot.

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The main square is dominated by this eye-catching statue.

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Again, a bit of a controversial subject.

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The linen bit of the museum was really interesting. It was staffed by very knowledgeable locals who – when not dealing with primary school tours – had lots of time on their hands to talk to me. One man was spinning and I asked whether they used the thread in their looms in the museum. Apparently not because each person spins in a different way and you can only use thread that has been spun the same way on the loom.

They had a jacquard loom which looked immensely complex.

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The woman who was in charge of the room with all the looms was very gloomy. “It’s like trying to raise the dead,” she said. Apparently, linen needs to be made in a damp place (weaver’s cottage ideal) and it does not take kindly to the dry museum air.

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Apparently there are only four acres of land under flax in Ireland now which means that basically all Irish linen is made from flax grown abroad and some material labelled Irish linen is actually only packed in Ireland. I bought myself a table runner from one of the local companies that import flax and make their own linen. Another massive local company was Barbour which made thread. I remember the brand clearly from when I was growing up but apparently it is now no longer with us.

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All very interesting actually and beautifully presented in the way of a small local museum.

A couple of days later, Mr. Waffle went to get some thread to repair a rent in a pillow case. Look what he found, inherited from my mother.

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He says that he looked it up on eBay and people are willing to pay €10 for spools of Barbour thread. All I can say is that we are sitting on a goldmine.

Where had we left matters?

6 June, 2022
Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Twins, Work

It was mid-May, I was finishing work mid-June. Good news, I am still finishing June 17. Bad news, this last two weeks before I finish up, they are going to squeeze work out of me until the pips squeak.

My niece turned 14 in mid-May and we all went out to dinner to celebrate. There was an adults’ table and a teenagers’ table which worked well for everyone. My only fear was that one of the boys would tell their cousin what her present was before her parents gave it to her the following day. They booked tickets for her to go to London to see Hamilton. I confided this to the boys in advance but they dutifully kept it secret even when their cousin said, “I don’t know what my parents are getting me, the present isn’t hidden in any of the usual places.” Her father sent round a photo of her opening her present the next morning and getting a big surprise which we all enjoyed. Like my sister-in-law said, “We’re desperately trying to catch up on the things Covid took away from our children.”

We had the Dutch Mama to stay overnight – she was in Dublin for a work trip (and got Covid in the process, alas, we remain – almost miraculously, Covid free) – and she told us how her 15 year old on a trip to a European Youth Parliament with her school mates ended up sleeping in Helsinki airport due to a delayed flight. No teachers, although some of the school mates were 18 so there was that. Honestly, the Dutch are very daring. Anyhow the child was none the worse for her experience and it makes me think that Daniel will be fine on his trip to Rome later this week.

Fame!

18 May, 2022
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Twins

This is the first time this has ever happened to me. I went to a cycle week event at the weekend and one of the marshals came up to me and stuck out his hand and said, “Hi, I read your blog.” The thrill. The next thing he said was, “That guy at work who thinks you look sixty is completely crazy.” That was the right thing to say.

The cycle ride was lovely too. Glorious weather. Loads of small children out on the roads. A feeling of slight smugness. One man had chosen to run beside his four year old. He wasn’t really dressed for it and I don’t think he fully expected the four year old to stay the course but children are full of surprises. And free pancakes at the end.

I couldn’t persuade Mr. Waffle and the boys to come. Too busy at home.

Grands, Petits – Même Combat

16 May, 2022
Posted in: Twins, Youngest Child

Michael is quite good to answer an email. He has a school email address and during the week, a message to that address will get a pretty much instant response as even a dull email from me appears to trump what might be going on in class. Again, I have to question the school’s iPad policy.

Me to Michael forwarding on an email from the school: See attached re updated school uniform policy and the school coat [Image and details of school coat attached].

Michael: Are they still trying to flog that useless wafer masquerading as a coat? [He feels the cold].

Me: I see on reading the policy that it is obligatory for all classes next year except sixth years, so you’re exempt.

Him: One struggle across all classes.

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