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Middle Child

A Head Start

7 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Saturday, November 6, 2021 (continued, yes, continued, this is what I have been reduced to)

We went out to dinner with friends last night and had a really wonderful time.

A definite highlight was their reaction to my apple jelly. I had given them a jar previously and they loved it. I mean really loved it, God I was delighted. I only regretted I hadn’t brought some more as there is lots more where that came from.

Our hostess opined that I was a closet Protestant given my jam making proclivities. I am not sure whether this is thing elsewhere but in Ireland Protestants are generally assumed to be good at crafts, baking and jam making. Although my mother’s family is descended from the Palatines who came to Limerick in the 1700s and my father frequently described her instincts as puritanical (“always leave when you are enjoying yourself most” was one of her catch phrases), I don’t really think that’s it.

She was in a position to have a view as her mother-in-law (our host’s mother, try to keep up) was a Scottish Presbyterian who, because of ne temere brought up four Catholic children. It was their own choice to send the boys to a Jesuit school but, I suppose, in for a penny, in for a pound. It was interesting to hear our host talk about going to Presbyterian services with his mother a couple of times a year; they were long but they had Sunday school. Once, when he was a child, there was some all-Ireland Presbyterian jamboree taking place in Dublin and members of the congregation were asked to put people up. His mother, explaining that she had a Catholic husband and children, put up two Presbyterians from Northern Ireland. Our friend said they were very pleasant men but terrified: they had never been in Dublin before and they had certainly never stayed in a house with Catholics but it all seemed to pass off peacefully. We had a chat about religion and he said, “I do it for the local Catholic community not for Rome.” Talking about “Rome” like that was so strange to me. I don’t really think of Rome at all or certainly not in the same way, it seems to me. I think having parents with two different religions must make you think about religion much more than if both your parents are Catholics and it feels like everyone else in the universe is too (Cork in the 70s and 80s).

We had a chat about our weekend in the Hague and it turned out that the gin production woman was their next door neighbour before she and her husband moved house. Because Ireland is tiny and we do, in fact, all know each other.

Sunday, November 7, 2021

In other religious news, our parish priest began this morning’s sermon with the words, “Remember, remember the 5th of November.” Does that strike you as at all odd? I mean he went on to talk about November being the month of the dead but I thought it was an unusual opening line even (or maybe especially) for someone who spent a long time working in England.

After mass I went into town and bought the head. I am delighted with her.

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Michael and I had a mild walk in the Botanic gardens leaving Daniel at home to finish his homework. Poor Mr. Waffle was a bit under the weather and went to bed for a nap.

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“And finally,” as they say on the news before they come to the human interest good news bit at the end. Thirty years ago, I moved in to a house share with a French girl in Brussels. In all the intervening years, we’ve stayed in touch and we’ve exchanged children and visited each other reasonably regularly. Today our daughters, of their own volition, met in England where they are both studying. Herself sent me photos. I am quite delighted.

Hope you had a good Sunday yourself. More tomorrow, God help us.

Right Up to Date

5 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Twins

Monday, November 1, 2021

Return to school after mid-term break is always a bit of a challenge. Not helped by the weekend away. It was pretty chilly as well. Finally glove weather has returned; I was perished on my cycle in to work.

Before the October 22 announcement that everything was going backwards, I had volunteered to host in-person book club in my house and then, when things were a bit grimmer, I asked whether people still wanted to come and four said yes. Look, five is a quorum. It was a bit of a scramble to organise as we had only returned from Holland the previous evening but, happily, the culinary standards for bookclub are not high and people seemed happy enough with the frozen pizza. And we were all very happy to see each other. I am delighted to report that the talented women in both my Monday night and my Sunday afternoon book club appear to be taking over the world and we were all in very congratulatory mode and analysing media performances, if you don’t mind (it’s fair to say that we were not a tough crowd). I can’t help thinking about our mothers and how they stopped working or worked part time or generally had less good careers than our fathers and I wonder about all the expertise and brilliance that was lost to the world. But then we – and our husbands – are also all flattened and stretched in ways they may not have been.

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

I drove Daniel to training. I couldn’t bear to let him cycle. It’s just too tense; I’m terrified that he will be run over in the dark. Mr. Waffle posted herself her skiing gear in a large box (7kgs). I suspect she may not relish flying down the slopes with her new friends in her Lidl ski gear but it is perfectly effective, I will have you know.

I dutifully took down the Halloween decorations. If you think I should have cut up the pumpkin before putting it in the compost heap, your views are not welcome here.

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Wednesday, November 3, 2021

While I was queuing for my lunch in a sandwich shop, I heard a radio DJ announce that U2’s “Achtung Baby” is thirty years old this week. This made me feel ancient so I thought I would spread the love.

In the evening I overheard Dan speaking in the kitchen, considering our fizzy water supplies, “How can five middle-aged women drink so much water?” It is true that my book club is a bit of a water into wine miracle: everyone only drinks water and they each bring a bottle of wine so at the end of the evening, you are definitely ahead on the alcohol content.

Daniel was in great form because the Dublin County Board (the GAA ruler in our kingdom) has determined that there is to be a new league for U17 boys and his team instead of disbanding has another year of playing together. He is thrilled.

I spent a full three weeks agonising about whether to apply for a job and tonight was the last night I could do anything about it and I let it go. The guilt was outweighed by the relief. Exhausting.

Thursday, November 4, 2021

I have my first social diary clash in years. I am going down to Cork for dinner for my sister’s birthday on November 12 and now I have also been invited to a dinner in Dublin. I welcome the return of the social whirl.

In other glamorous news, before I went to bed, I took something out of the freezer for dinner and I noticed that the drawers were filthy so I took out everything and washed the drawers in the sink. I think this may be crazy behaviour but the drawers look amazing.

Friday, November 5, 2021

I scampered out of work for my half day at 2.30 and spent the rest of the afternoon at home with the laptop open working on and off on something urgent – updating this post in the gaps between document drafts – which is not exactly an afternoon off but not fully on either. Look, we take our wins where we can.

You are fully up to date with my life. This is everything that has happened to me. I have no idea what I will post tomorrow. And it’s only November 5. It’s going to be a long month.

Updated to add: the car failed its NCT but my saintly husband is sorting it. Some problem with the headlights. Sigh.

Going Dutch

4 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Travel, Twins, Youngest Child

Friday October 29, 2021

Over the summer we were invited to a friend’s 50th in Holland and we booked flights in what we thought might be an excess of optimism but here we were, actually going. The airport was quite busy but travelling through to our gate was relatively painless. The flight was completely full – every seat. Aside from masks, it felt very normal indeed. Our friend met us at the airport in Holland and dispatched us to our accommodation in a taxi which felt pleasingly decadent.

I was delighted with the Airbnb I found us in the Hague.

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It was beside the beach (fine, technically Schevening) and although it was definitely not beach weather, it was nice to see the sea. It had the extraordinarily steep ladder like stairs which come as standard in Dutch houses. I have no idea how old people manage. Maybe all the cycling keeps them super fit?

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We went to the supermarket and we were the only people wearing masks. The Dutch only have to wear masks on public transport and everyone has abandoned elsewhere.

That evening we went to our friend’s 50th birthday party. Lads, a hundred people, a buffet and not a mask to be seen anywhere. It was like the before times: I loved it. The boys went off to play cards with the birthday girl’s children and Mr. Waffle and I mingled. We had a grand old chat with an old friend of the birthday girl who has left a very successful career in the law to move into gin production. Do you think I am making this up?

The venue was delightful: a big old house in the middle of a park with a lake. Apparently it used to be owned by Shell for the purposes of entertaining Shell bigwigs before becoming a venue for hire. All going well with Shell eh?

At 9 I took myself off to the airport to meet herself off her plane from England. This was fraught with difficulties due to my imperfect understanding of the Dutch public transport system. I found myself cowering on the tram rehearsing the lines I would give to the ticket inspector when it became clear that my transport card had insufficient funds. Happily the moment never came and I scurried into central station in the Hague and on to my train to Schiphol without further difficulties.

God, it was so nice to see my first born child. She was in terrific form and wanted to go straight to the party which we dutifully did and I am happy to report that we were among the very last to leave.

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Saturday, October 30, 2021

We had a quiet morning and then went for a ride on the big wheel by the beach before taking ourselves off to our friend’s house where the boys continued their game with their Hiberno-Dutch friends and a neighbour’s child. Our friend fed all of us, her own family and her two sisters. Quite heroic. And one of us is now a vegan. As well as her own party the previous night and all the attendant relatives in town, she also had a friend’s 50th dinner party that night and her third child’s confirmation the following day. It was a lot but she seemed in great form in fairness.

Sunday, October 31, 2021

We decided to go to the Escher exhibition in town which was pretty good and the boys found it mildly interesting too which is always a bonus.

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Herself was keen to go to the Mauritshuis. Off she trotted on her own. She was supposed to have booked a ticket but she hadn’t. The doorman liked her earrings and let her in anyway.

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Earrings are visible above in the accidentally Wes Anderson shot of herself and Michael.

The Mauritshuis was free in for young people and she was delighted with it; full of old friends. She went wild in the gift shop: that’s my girl.

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We had a final lunch together at the airport. We had to abandon herself half way through to run for our flight. I was sad to say good bye and leave her eating alone in an enormous international airport but it was probably for the best: we made our flight but it was a bit tight. Schiphol is quite a large airport, isn’t it? And two of us were selected for a very slow and deliberate random bag check which did not help matters. There were tense times in our little group. Separately, our 18 year old made her flight with lots of time to spare and a slightly superior attitude.

We got home to lashing rain, a delighted cat and a stream of trick or treaters for whom we had neglected to buy any sweets. Alas.

“It’s starting to get a bit cold, finally,” I said to Mr. Waffle, “Will I switch on the Aga?” “Not the weekend of COP 26,” said he. Everyone’s a critic.

I must say, it was nice to be away, away. I’ve really missed going to different places. I had forgotten how absolutely charming Holland can be. I do feel lucky to have been able to go: I fear restrictions may be back again later in the year so the timing was good. Will Covid ever end?

More of It

3 November, 2021
Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Twins

Tuesday, October 26, 2021

Saintly Daniel cut the grass in the back garden for what, I assume, is the last time this year. The weather is so peculiar.

The in-laws came to stay before heading back to England. Mr. Waffle went out to Tuesday night soccer where he managed to inadvertently hit a fellow player in the face with a ball. The other player went off to get an x-ray. Mr. Waffle arrived home a bit shaken.

Poor Dan was cycling back from GAA and fell off his bike on the grass slope by the side of the pitch. He suffered no injury except to his dignity but, as he pointed out, this was considerable, as he was encased in high vis gear from top to toe and visible probably from space and certainly from all over the pitch.

Separately, this pheasant turned up in my brother’s back garden in Cork city.

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Wednesday, October 27, 2021

My little London niece was in great form over breakfast and I thought that she’s only got used to us and now she’s off but I trust we will see more of her from now on.

In response to Mr Waffle’s anxious enquiry, his colleague messaged him, that, yes, indeed, his jaw was dislocated but added in a Christian spirit which we can only hope to emulate, that Mr. Waffle should not worry and “it was a good clearance”.

Herself got a lovely care package from her London aunt and was very pleased.

At lunch time, I saw the guards had a road closed and I asked why. “VIP,” said the guard laconically. “Anyone interesting?” I asked. “Some Germans,” said she. Turned out it was the German president. You can’t impress a guard.

Thursday, October 28, 2021

I had a lovely long chat with herself at lunch time. She was procrastinating and I took full advantage of her desire not to get back to her essay. She seems to be having a fantastic time.

I knew I would be stuck late at work as the following day I was off and so it proved but I made it home eventually.

Daniel promptly departed in the dark on his bike for training at 8.15. I’m not sure that I am able for the wait until 9.30 when he gets back. I am absolutely terrified that he will be taken out by a careless driver.

So, why, you might ask, was I taking Friday off work? To go to Holland to a 50th birthday party, like the before times. Stay tuned for details of our exciting Dutch trip.

Continuing Our Ongoing Diary Entries

2 November, 2021
Posted in: Family, Ireland, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Twins, Youngest Child

Wednesday October 20, 2021

It lashed rain. Despite my elaborate rain gear, the wind drove the rain up the arms of my coat leading to damp cuffs. Alas. There is no better way to get wet than on a bicycle.

Thursday, October 21, 2021

My sister-in-law and her husband and daughter arrive from England. Who would have thought that when they moved back to London in October 2019, it would be two full years before they came back to Ireland? I was pretty excited to see my now four year old niece in the flesh as opposed to on Skype.

Friday, October 22, 2021

The school sent a message notifying us that we need to avoid jelly cannabis. I have so many questions. The boys dressed up for Halloween and went into school as Mr. Potato Head and a man in black. I like the potato peeler which doubles as a memory eraser but you can understand why Mr. Potato Head looks nervous.

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The in-laws came around. The absolute thrill. I was so pleased to see them. It made me a bit sad that they had been away for so long. We took in an exciting trip to the local playground. All go. My brother-in-law, surveying the range of outfits, asked whether Irish children always dressed up for Halloween on the last day before the mid-term break. “They do,” I confirmed, “do they not in England?” Apparently not. “It’s racism awareness fortnight,” he offered but it’s really not the same.

I had another dental appointment to deal with the bit that fell off my tooth. I am sick of the dentist and he may well be sick of me.

The boys and I watched a quite complicated but rather delightful Studio Ghibli film on Netflix. Thomas, their favourite childminder made them watch loads of Studio Ghibli films as he said that they were an indispensable part of childhood. He was a great childminder.

Mr. Waffle had tickets to the football league of Ireland semi-final but Dan didn’t feel like going and although I offered to go in his stead, Mr. Waffle said no one would believe that I was an under 18 season ticket holder. Alas. On many levels.

We were supposed to more or less be going back to normal post-October 22 but the Covid figures are on the up so no return to normal just yet.

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Saturday, October 23, 2021

It was my father-in-law’s anniversary. I’m sure he would have been delighted to see his three children and their spouses and children gathered together. Probably would not have been delighted that his eldest son had come down with some kind of vomiting bug. Poor Mr. Waffle, he sat hunched miserably in the corner of the room like a ghost at the feast.

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Sunday October 24, 2021

Dan had his last match with his current GAA team. They have been together since they were 6** so he was pretty sad. Still, minor play beckons (the next level up).

In the afternoon we headed to Mount Usher where we met the cousins and attempted to recreate the photo we took the last time we were there two years ago. Sadly herself wasn’t there being off in England but otherwise, I was quite pleased with the recreation of the picture. It is not easy being archivist in chief; for one thing your children tend to mercilessly mock you.

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As Monday was the bank holiday, we all stayed overnight in a local hotel. The four teenagers had dinner before the adults and they sat and ordered together. I am very pleased that the cousins know each other so well. Cousins are a bit different from friends, it’s much easier to chat with them even if you haven’t seen each other for weeks and there is a shared understanding of family which makes it more relaxing to be together, I think. My niece has turned into an extraordinarily pretty teenager and I said as much to the boys to which Daniel replied, “Maybe that’s how you roll in Cork but I can’t say, I’d noticed.” On balance, a good thing, I suppose though, naturally I resent the anti-Cork slur.

Monday October 25, 2021

Daniel had arranged to meet a friend in town at lunch time so we went back to Dublin quite promptly. “Any idea what you and your friend are going to be doing in town?” I asked. “Yes,” said he. Mysterious. Anyhow he seems to have had a good time and stayed away from the cannabis jelly. Michael rather revelled at being the only child in the car once we had dropped off his brother.

I went into Dunnes Stores with a coat I had bought for Dan which proved to be faulty (problem with a seam, since you ask). I had no receipt but I stood my ground politely but firmly and (for the first time ever) asked to see a manager who confirmed that yes it was faulty and they would exchange it or refund me the cost. I emerged dizzy with relief and excitement. Middle aged achievement level unlocked.

I had a distinctly Sunday night feeling on Monday whereas the lucky children were just beginning their mid-term and, while sympathetic, could not really enter into my feelings.

Stay tuned all month for more fascinating content of a very similar nature.

**Updated to add, Mr. Waffle says since he was 3 but that surely can’t be right. You would think with my complete blog and photographic archive I might be able to find out but no, look, certainly since he was very young.

Since You’ve Been Gone

20 October, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Travel, Twins, Work, Youngest Child

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Life meanders on notwithstanding the absence of herself. A man comes with a power hose and cleans the concrete in the garden. All the men folk hate it but I am delighted. A locksmith comes to fix the shed door and our new cleaner starts. It’s all go.

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I have to go to Killarney for work – my first post Covid trip. Here’s a thing I didn’t know when I got on the train for a four hour journey at 11 in the morning: the trains no longer serve food. Unsatisfactory.

Thursday, October 7, 2021

It lashes rain for the duration of my trip to Killarney but at least I have some food for the train journey home.

I speak to herself. Apparently England is very “spenny”. I beg your pardon? I welcome the opportunity to get to grips with English student slang.

Friday, October 8, 2021

Following my root canal a couple of weeks ago, I get a crown put on a back tooth. This is not a pain free operation, people. By the time I get home, the inside of my mouth feels like a battle ground. I was more delighted than I can say when one of my bottom front teeth chipped at the back later that evening. Seriously, no, no I was not. Back to the dentist for me.

Saturday, October 9, 2021

I cycled 12 kms out to visit my mother’s college friend whose husband died in August. I think she was pleased to see me but she is no-nonsense and a dentist and she told me to stop feeling my tooth with my tongue. “I can’t help it,” I said plaintively. “Of course you can,” she said. Ah great to be reminded of what it feels like to be a hapless teenager.

Mr. Waffle the boys and I cycled into town (to say I am the slowest cyclist in the family, kind of understates how much slower I am than everyone else – I felt like an antelope separated from the heard by circling traffic but I got there in the end). We saw the only thing I could get tickets for in theatre festival which was only 20 minutes long which was a source of general delight. The theatre is owned by the father of one of the Princess’s friends and her friend was doing the tickets and her other friend’s mother was doing the lighting. All we were missing was herself. More pizza afterwards.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Book club in real life. It was amazing. I had such a good time. And then cycling home I ran into my friend and her husband on the street. They’ve just moved back from Brussels and it was such a lovely surprise to see them. A very satisfactory Sunday.

Monday, October 11, 2021

Our next door neighbour’s elder child is in art school and she is going to paint a mural on the lane behind our back door. I am v excited. She came in with some sketches. Thrilling.

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

I spoke to herself. She seemed in reasonable form. Then I went home and inadvertently laid the table for dinner for 5. Alas we are only 4.

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

The boys had an assembly for their year in school. As Michael said to me, “Assemblies are never good news.” He said that they were all sitting round performing an examination of conscience while the year head paced up and down talking about their workload and how important it was to study this year. However, it was good news. They had the first two classes off and the school brought them in breakfast for world mental health day. More of this.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Herself rang to say that we couldn’t blame her more than she blamed herself but that she had lost her passport in the pub the previous night.

Question for the audience: why is the Irish consulate on Cromwell Road? Does that strike you as a great address in all the circumstances? Before any firm moves were made to resolve the logistical nightmare, some kind humanitarian put up a post on the student facebook page saying that he had found it. Who knew students even used facebook? She doesn’t but her friend texted her.

She has to get some form of ID that is not her passport. I can’t face this again.

I was talking to my brother about Cromwell Road and mentioned perfidious Albion to which he said, “What does that mean, picky, over fussy and neat like you are, you sure you’ve got that phrase right?” “Perfidious, not fastidious,” I said tartly.

Friday, October 15, 2021

Mr. Waffle and Dan went out to watch the local football team in action (another draw, thanks for asking). We’ve all got very used to going out now, strange how quickly things have reverted to normal. Michael and I stayed in and watched “Blinded by the Light” which we both really enjoyed and there was no one to get annoyed with us for singing along.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Very peaceful day in which nothing much happened. Hugely enjoyable.

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Daniel had a hurling match he lost by a point but he seemed philosophical.

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Mr. Waffle and I went out for a cycle and visited his mother. We abandoned our poor sons to their homework. One of the big compensations of being a grown-up is having no homework, frankly.

Monday, October 18, 2021

It was 19 degrees today. 19 degrees in October. I was melting in my opaque tights. On the way home I cycled into a wand separating my cycle lane from general traffic. No injury you will be pleased to hear, other than to my dignity, naturally.

Daniel had GAA conditioning training out by the airport which, as he said, is convenient for no one. Mr. Waffle dropped him out and I collected him. It’s moving to the club next week. Thank God. I thought we’d be driving him out to the airport two nights a week in perpetuity. The GAA training is super intense: conditioning two nights a week; training two nights a week and at least one match every weekend. I have no idea how children who want to play more than one sport manage.

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

The principal sent out an email to parents and students about the dangers of “Squid Game”. Too late for us, we watched three episodes but we tired of it. The principal says, “It is the strong belief of many psychologists that the message and culture in this series is not good for anyone and that it is extremely dangerous for young people.” I’d say anyone who wasn’t watching has started now.

We had a great long conversation with herself. All is well in foreign lands.

Great sunset today.

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