Middle Child

Plague Diary – Part IV

5 April, 2020
Posted in: Family, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Twins, Work, Youngest Child

Monday, March 30, 2020

We are definitively all working from home, you need a letter to come in and only three people in our division are deemed indispensable and happily I am not one of them.

My sister managed to spring my father from hospital. I was so relieved and delighted. He’s not very well but at least he is out of Corona virus central. Quarantining is complex. My brother, who lives with my parents, is in one part of the house and he is in self-isolation after his return from France. My sister is moving home to look after my father and go into isolation with him for a fortnight after his exposure to the virus (March 19). They will be in another part of the house and disinfectant wipes will be a big part of everyone’s lives.

After work, on Monday evening we went and played basketball on a local court en famille but Daniel is so much better than the rest of us that it is only fair if we play 4 against 1 and even then, he’s more likely to win.

I had my Monday night book club online. Another win for the bookclub. Nobody talked about the book and only one person had read it. Nevertheless we are moving from a monthly to weekly bookclub for the duration. We did this via Microsoft video conferencing which I declare to be less satisfactory than zoom.

I tried to set up a zoom conversation with my brother and sister for later in the evening but my brother refused to take part as he was meeting up for virtual drinks with his friends. Where will it end?

The hook which holds the elastic on the Princess’s teeth snapped off and the wretched orthodontist did not reply to emails or calls. My own dentist replied with admirable promptness and texted me immediately to say that his view was that she should take off all elastics and her treatment would be extended for however long the crisis took although he caveated he was not an orthodontist. He is sensible though. She is gutted and also has put blue tack on the sticking out hook to reduce the pain. Miserable? Miserable.

Herself said to me that Whatsapp is a very panicky medium and never was a truer word spoken. My phone is filling up with worthy middle class, middle aged suggestions for myself and my children to achieve online during the crisis and it is mildly stressing me out. Meanwhile Daniel’s GAA team have been given a series of exercises to do every day and his team mates are posting themselves doing the exercises to the Whatsapp group. This is stressing out poor Daniel.

Mr. Waffle finished Daniel Defoe’s “A Journal of the Plague Year” and said it’s not great. Reading the hard books so we don’t have to. Despite considerable pressing by me, no one is willing to read “The Siege of Paris” even though I read out some of the best bits over breakfast. Possibly becuase I read some of the best bits out over breakfast. Not feeling much up to new books so picked up “The Grand Sophy” by Georgette Heyer for a reread and was pleased to see that my mother had written her name and March 1965 on the flyleaf and I thought fond thoughts of her picking it up for the first time 55 years ago.

Tuesday, 31 March 2020

Mr. Waffle found what he thought was another dead rat in the utility room. On closer examination he felt it was some cooked food the cat might have scavenged from a bin. In any event he disposed of the…item and cleaned the floor with bleach. Did I mention that while I am in stately isolation in the study/dining room, Mr. Waffle is working in the utility room or the rat hole as we now know it. In my defence, I am videoconferencing all the time.

When you have 2 adults and 3 teenagers using broadband for class streaming, video conferences and other internet related excitements, you have mediocre connectivity at best, it turns out. We’re all learning. The Princess’s English teacher failed to show up for class leaving them all sitting there like digital lemons.

We made more bread.

Herself made chocolate cake from the neighbours’ hens’ eggs. We gave one cake to the neighbours. We’re not savages. Yet.

For an outside exercise break, I made Michael clip the hedge. I am justifiably proud of my efforts.

Mr. Waffle reorganised the contents of the random chargers box.

Mr. Waffle and I went for a walk and admired the deserted streets of the city. Not that deserted, actually.

I can see a lot more of this kind of fascinating content being available.

Wednesday, 1 April, 2020

God, work was absolutely frantic. Michael missed a zoom class for school. The Princess’s teeth continued sore and no sign of the wretched orthodontist calling. My bread failed to rise. I had a little cry as it felt like I was failing at work and at home. It was a low point. I was somewhat cheered by this video.

Thanks to the neighbourhood whatsapp group, I now know the names of everyone on our street and the DVDs and books they have available to share. GDPR, how are you?

At the end of the day, Mr. Waffle, herself and myself were going to go for a walk but I skipped it to deal with the latest work crisis. Possibly a mistake.

My sister’s company might put her on a three day week. She’s reasonably philosophical.

We’re all a bit worried about my mother-in-law in her nursing home. My brother is finally out of quarantine after his trip to France.

Rentokil did not turn up. The neighbours explained that they had come last week to lay poison and now they are coming back for the corpses/to check if it worked and it seems this is less urgent. But yet.

Thursday, 2 April, 2020

On the whole, a much better day. I started putting my work mobile on silent over lunch and it improved my life by 100%. At lunch time I walked to the bottom of the road, alone in the rain and it felt like quite the break. Dear God. The days all feel a bit the same. I never thought I would miss going in to the office, but I do a bit.

My sister skyped with my father and me. A much more successful operation than I had imagined possible. He looks a bit beaten down by his hospital experience but it was really nice to see him.

The Princess, Mr. Waffle, Michael and I went for a walk while Daniel slaved over his books – he seems to be getting a lot of homework. Michael went back after 10 minutes having been forced out so, at least Daniel had company.

We found another dead rat in the garden. The rat plague is like a Greek chorus to my pandemic woes. You’d be surprised how many people have had rat problems, may I say?

In other good news we got a partial refund for the money we’d paid for the Princess’s school tour to Barcelona having already gloomily written it off.

Herself is testing out new make-up options.

We’ve started watching an Australian series called Rake with the children. It’s deeply inappropriate but it’s the only thing we all like so we’re going to stick with it. Judge away.

My father finished his quarantine, he officially does not have the virus and my sister got to sleep in her own bed so a win all round.

Friday, 3 April, 2020

Work continued busy but I was on a half day and got to take it which was terrific. Herself made pancakes at 4 and we all sat down and ate them. My sister’s company is not moving to a three day week after all, apparently. She’s taking the chopping and changing very calmly.

Mr. Waffle, Daniel and I went to play table tennis and then I went off for a cycle on my own which was calming.

Saturday, 4 April, 2020

We skyped my mother-in-law in the nursing home. Not a great experience for her I feel but we sang from our repertoire of songs and she seemed somewhat appreciative.

There was more hedge cutting. The garden is going to be amazing when this is over.

Online preparations continued for what herself is referring to gloomily as her “quaranteenth birthday”. She’ll be 17 on Easter Sunday.

She and I went for a long cycle in the park together and really enjoyed ourselves which was a surprise to both of us.

We played online games via zoom. Some unhappiness but basically a success, possibly to be repeated.

More eggs from the neighbours. I see further cake making in our future.

Sunday, 5 April, 2020

It’s so odd not to be going to mass on Palm Sunday and the prospect of all the Easter preparations without setting foot inside a church.

At the initiative of my sister-in-law in London, we’re having a family bake off competition to conclude on Monday, April 13. There had better be prizes for everyone is all I can say. Also, special prize for anyone who successfully uses coconut flour.

Online Sunday book club again. Satisfactory. Also a quick walk with Mr. Waffle. No exercise for the boys. Alas. On the plus side, we all did our jobs on the cleaning rota and the house is spotless.

Herself maintains she hears rats under the floorboards in her room. Surely not?

I’m afraid all this content is dull. But things are dull and a bit stressful, I fear. How is your own quarantine going?

Plague Diary – Part III

29 March, 2020
Posted in: Dublin, Family, Ireland, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Friday, March 27, 2020

I dropped into the office about ten to pick up some papers but there was much grief and heartache and I ended up stuck there until ten to six with only a vile chicken tikka wrap from the Spar to sustain me.

I find I’m a bit tired all the time and every evening I have a nasty tension headache. I suppose it’s the uncertainty and general worry.

Our cleaner can’t come any more, obviously, and I told the children that a cleaning rota would apply from this weekend. This was met with a very lukewarm response.

I spoke to my 90 year old aunt on the phone and put Michael on to her as I thought it might cheer her up. I rethought matters when I heard him say to her, “If you stay at home, I’d say your chances of survival are relatively good.”

My sister got a call from the hospital at 8.30 in the evening and got a nasty shock when a nurse said to her, “I’m calling about your father.” However, it turned out that he was out of credit on his phone. I don’t see how he can use up his credit but my sister thinks it’s mostly from calling her and accidentally putting her on hold.

The Taoiseach announced that we are all going on further lockdown. All feeling a bit grim. Herself showed me the Italian mayors video and it cheered me up enormously.

Saturday, March 28, 2020

I went out to the garden to admire my compost bin in its new location. Stretched on the ground adjacent to its old location was a dead rat the size of a small rabbit. This is on top of finding a rat in the utility room a couple of weeks ago. I am beginning to wonder should we call in Rentokil. Would they come? Mr. Waffle says that a man from a nearby road is a rat catcher (who knew?) and he walks down the lane at the back of our house every day with his terrier. All I can say is that they are not doing a great job. We have had major building work on the other side of the lane and perhaps they were displaced? Anyhow, this one had clearly been killed by the cat so that, at least, was welcome.

Daniel and I went out to play tennis. It was within 2 kms of our house and it was brief (we only played a set) but I wondered whether it was allowed. However four guards passed us while we were there – two walking and two cycling – and they all nodded approvingly at us. So, ok, I suppose?

Aer Lingus cancelled Daniel’s flight to Paris and, unsurprisingly, won’t refund us but we can have a voucher to use on flights in the future. I suppose there will be a point when that will be welcome.

I was on to my friend in Paris whose daughter has asthma and she is really worried. The hospitals in the ÃŽle-de-France are full. A 16 year old girl has died. They haven’t left the house in 10 days. They get their shopping delivered; they hand a cheque through the letter box (curious, online payments do not seem to really have taken off in France) and the delivery is left outside. They take it in; wash their hands; put the cold stuff in the fridge and leave the rest for a couple of days before using it. Her husband has lost his job – he works for a small firm so not a great time, I suppose. I’m sure he’ll find something when this is over but how long might that be?

Meanwhile my friend in America who is a doctor is very gloomy. When I asked her how things were in her hospital, she said, “Dire and getting worse.” Her husband, also a doctor, will be 50 on April 1. Not a great time as she pointed out.

On the plus side, Mr. Waffle managed to get flour in the supermarket and we made not one but two kinds of bread. They both look a bit burnt but they actually tasted quite nice.

Our next door neighbours with chickens called to say they had left eggs on the doorstep and when we got there, there were 8 eggs. We need never be short of an omelette in the crisis. Particularly since we already had a dozen in stock.

Sunday, March 29, 2020

The clocks went forward. Hurrah

Notwithstanding this, it was a grumpy kind of day. I had pinned up the rota of household tasks and myself, the Princess and Mr. Waffle dutifully did ours but the boys stayed in bed until 2 and when they got up went into a joint online dungeons and dragons thing. When they had finished, Daniel said he had to do lots of homework and couldn’t do his jobs. I was cross and had some harsh things to say about his organisation of his time. Michael offered to do Daniel’s work as Daniel was very stressed about homework. I thought that perhaps my rigid approach was not making anyone’s life happier especially poor Daniel who, to be fair to him, is a hard working and obliging child.

Mr. Waffle and I went out for a walk around the block. When we came back, everything was a bit better. I think there’s probably a moral there.

I had an online meeting with my Sunday bookclub which I really enjoyed. We did not discuss the book but we did cover what everyone is doing for alcohol in the crisis. As a non-drinker (largely), I was tempted to say that I am still off sweets and biscuits for Lent and it is killing me. But somehow, the moment didn’t arise. They’re all doing fine for alcohol, you will be pleased to hear.

The hospital said that they might discharge my father tomorrow. His temperature is normal. Hope springs eternal.

When we were out, we ran into the next door neighbours (not literally, social distancing etc) and thanked them for the eggs. I mentioned the dead rat. “Ah,” they said, “we should have said, we have Rentokil coming on Wednesday. We’ve found a couple (!) of dead rats and so have the neighbours on the other side. We think they’re displaced from the building site behind the lane and they’re attracted by the food the hens kick out of the coop.” The hen giveth and the hen taketh away. Anyhow, Rentokil will be dropping in on Wednesday. In the interim, herself tells me that she has heard a definite scratching noise under her floorboards. Oh Lord, could I ask that we be delivered from a plague of rats in the midst of our Corona virus lock down? Would that be too much to ask? I am still maintaining my Lenten fast, I would like the universe to know that. Meanwhile, Mr. Waffle is contemplating setting up a rats whatsapp group.

In what has undoubtedly been the best WhatsApp message since this started, someone pointed out that the ISS was clearly visible in the sky this evening. We all stood together in the front garden and watched it pass through the clear evening sky. It was lovely.

Illness Stalks the Land

8 March, 2020
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Twins

Daniel was quite sick a fortnight ago. He had a really high temperature and was miserable. Now, I can’t help wondering whether it was the wretched Corona virus but he had an upset stomach as well and no cough, so maybe it was just common or garden flu.

In what I hope is unrelated news, Mr. Waffle found a large dead rat in the utility room. It is our fervent hope that the cat brought it in to the house rather than that it died of natural causes in our utility room having lived a full and happy life in our house. You will recall that Mr. Waffle has form in thinking quite large rodents are not rats. He was in no doubt about this corpse.

Alas

7 March, 2020
Posted in: Cork, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

Things are not going well. On Wednesday my 94 year old father fell at home. There was no one else in the house. He inadvertently turned off his mobile phone in the excitement so it was about an hour before my brother came home and found him. He seemed alright. The next day, Thursday, he got up and then he got stuck in the shower. His GP came round (now retired, old buddy of my Dad’s though much younger and has basically, as far as I can see, kept my father as his sole patient to tend to his needs) and said he suspected a broken pelvis and sent him off to the hospital by ambulance.

My brother went in with him. He enjoyed the usual on a trolley experience in A&E. I spoke to my father on his mobile phone. He was taken off for x-ray. My brother went home. I considered getting to Cork for the weekend once Mr. Waffle got back from Luxembourg where he had gone for work on Wednesday. The hospital went into lock down because they had a Corona virus case. My father’s mobile phone ran out of charge. That evening I rushed home, fed the boys and then drove for miles to collect herself from her friend’s school where he had been acting in the school play. Something by Harold Pinter. Honestly, notions. She quite enjoyed it, thanks for asking. Possibly the last outing before Corona virus shuts down all the schools.

On Friday morning, I woke up with a sore neck. I was stuck in the pose of a tortoise with neck jutting out of its shell. I have been here before. I limped around the house in agony and unable to bend. Herself said she was a bit snuffly and asked, hopefully, should she stay home as a friend of a friend living about 50 kms away had Corona virus. I sent her in. I limped in to work (unable to cycle, obviously). I sneezed on the tram and everyone around moved away in a marked manner. Good tip for anyone who would like a bit more space on public transport. At work, in a disturbing development, the only position in which I felt comfortable was hunched over my keyboard typing.

My sister spent Friday trying to get updates on my father. He spent the day phone free, visitor free in A&E on a trolley while the hospital dealt with its Corona virus problem by sending 60 staff into self-isolation, which is not great if you’re 94 or, indeed, any age.

Meanwhile, on Friday night herself was in her short film which was being screened as part of the Dublin film festival. Her father was only getting home from Luxembourg at 8.30 and could not attend, her aunt was supposed to come from Cork but was stuck in Cork on high alert for my father, her brothers were supposed to come but a friend of theirs from school was organising pizza and a film for another friend of theirs who is having chemotherapy and has stopped school for a bit (chemo, Corona virus, bit of both?) and they wanted to go, so I felt that they should and they could see the film another time. Her cousin and aunt from Dublin were coming. As we arrived at the cinema, her Dublin aunt texted that they were stuck in traffic. I sent herself scampering off to sit with her friends and sat near the front as I had forgotten my glasses (look, I had a lot on). I quite enjoyed the short film as it featured my first born and many of her friends. I enjoyed most of the other shorts screened as well. Aunt and cousin arrived but I did not see them, alas, as they arrived a bit late and had to leave early.

We had originally planned to have pizza as a big group after the screening but circumstances beyond everyone’s control meant that there were just a pair of us – myself and herself. But it’s an ill wind and it meant that we were able to drive out to the airport and collect her father rather than leave. My sister texted to say that the hospital had finally managed to get my father on to a ward 36 hours after being admitted with (it transpired) crushed vertebrae rather than a broken pelvis (a good news story, basically). Later I picked the boys up after their evening out. Did they have fun? They did. Did they have any trouble finding their friend’s house in the dark (they had to go alone on foot as I was at the film)? One did and one did not. Was there any reason why they would chose to travel separately through the mean streets in the dark given that they were going to the same place? Nobody told them they were to travel together. Was it not obvious? It was not. Anyway, in small world stories, Daniel (who was the one who got lost) ran into a friend from his GAA team who was out walking with his father. The father knew Dan’s friend’s father because they had gone to the same school and grown up on the same road and was able to escort Daniel safely to his destination. Big city, small community.

There was a bit of consternation on Friday as the nurse said to my sister that my father was cognitively impaired. He wasn’t when he went in on Thursday. However, I managed to talk to a nurse this afternoon (Saturday) who was pretty helpful and said that he had had a free and frank exchange of views with his consultant that morning about his medication and that he was perusing the papers my sister had delivered to the hospital and which had wended their way to his room. The nurse charged his phone for him and he called me about an hour ago. Mostly to say that he needed my sister to call him so that he could instruct her to bring various things in to the hospital for him; partly to check whether my brother had got off on his skiing holiday (he had with some misgivings); and partly to complain loudly about the quality of nursing care compared to in his day (which I’m sure was gratefully noted by the overworked staff on the premises). So cognitively he seems fine, if grumpy. Apparently, they are discharging people, Corona virus or no, so I am hopeful he might be able to move to some kind of step down facility early next week.

Meanwhile next Saturday, we are supposed to go skiing en famille ourselves. I appreciate that this is a bit #mymiddleclasshell but between my poor father possibly at death’s door (though things have improved on that front over the past 24 hours); my tortoise like posture and general misery; Corona virus diverse alarms; and a number of logistical difficulties on the accommodation front (we are in a chalet with friends of friends and there have been some unfortunate miscommunications including my brother being in and then out again, he is currently out but has found somewhere else to stay – he’s going for a week with friends this week and family next, isn’t it well for him?), I can’t say I’m looking forward to it as much as I was when we booked it last autumn.

Finally, finally in my litany of complaint and woe, regular readers will remember that I am in the church baptism group. The parish priest has taken it upon himself to have a display in the church on what each church group does. Our group was not enthused; we all have jobs to hold down and plenty to do otherwise. But one of our number organised us all to do pictures. I paid herself good money to paint two of the six symbols of baptism for me and Michael kindly dropped them around to the woman up the road who is on half a dozen church committees and undertook to drop them into the parish office. I couldn’t help to put them up in the church as I was collecting herself from her Pinter play on the other side of the city on display night but surely now our work was done. Not a bit of it, next up, we each had to lead the Stations of the Cross on different dates. I felt myself both theologically and practically unable to do so and said so. Surely this was the end of it? No, this morning a message arrives saying each of us had to turn up at a different mass over the next week and show off the stand. I am not pleased. With all the other things going on, this Greek chorus of pings from the baptism Whatsapp group was not what I needed. I am, frankly, peeved. This could yet tip me over the edge into godlessness. Herself would be delighted as I’ve told her she has to keep going to mass until she’s 18 and she is exploring all avenues for an earlier exit.

Anyone else got any news or have I absorbed it all?

A Low Point

22 February, 2020
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

It’s been stormy. Our recycling bin blew over and the contents got wet. “Did you put them in the black bin?” I asked Mr. Waffle. “That would have been a terrible waste,” said he. Then he added, defiantly, “I dried them out by spreading them over the Aga.” I was not pleased. Was it for this that I spent my children’s inheritance?

The weather has been quite awful all month. Michael and Daniel spent much of their mid-term break holed up in the house (herself has an elaborate series of ongoing social engagements which mean she touches down in our sphere but rarely) so today Mr. Waffle and I forced them out for a walk on the pier in Dun Laoghaire after visiting his mother. They were very good despite the fact that it hailed on us. Good God in heaven.

I suppose snow is next.

Out and About

28 January, 2020
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Reading etc., Twins, Youngest Child

The Alliance FranÃ§aise had a games night and, even though it was a school night, I insisted on bringing the boys and Mr. Waffle. I felt that the boys might enjoy it and that it would be good for their French. In my mind’s eye, I saw them sitting down and bonding with another group of board game-loving teenagers, ideally Francophone board game-loving teenagers, and having a great time while myself and Mr. Waffle went off Bewley’s and had a nice cup of tea. This did not happen. They did not enjoy it, it was not good for their French. It was all grown-ups who came with their own gangs of friends. There were no other teenagers. What was agonising for Michael, in particular, was that these were his people playing his kind of games but with no room for him. We sat in a corner, the four of us and tried to muster enthusiasm for playing in French games which we could equally readily have played at home and despite the enthusiasm and helpfulness of the librarian doling out games, it could not really be called anything but an abysmal failure. Alas.

We went to see Knives Out in the cinema and, unlike everyone else in Ireland, I thought it was only alright. The others enjoyed it though. We also went to see JoJo Rabbit which I enjoyed in a mild way but found myself distracted by the woman in the row in front who kept her phone on throughout: messaging, whatsapping, posting to instagram. It was spectacularly annoying but I was too craven to tap her on the shoulder and say something in case she was cross with me and I had to sit behind her for the rest of the film which would ruin it for me. So I sat there stewing in bitterness.

Herself bought us theatre tickets for Christmas which was a bit over-generous given her very limited budget, poor mite, but anyway they were for Drama at Inish at the Abbey which I found surprisingly enjoyable. I had thought it was going to be something like The Playboy of the Western World or the Beauty Queen of Leenane – all a bit West of Ireland gloom – but it’s not. It’s by Lennox Robinson (who was from Douglas in Cork, I mean, who knew?). It was written in the 30s and it’s about a group of actors who go to a seaside resort in East Cork (clearly Youghal) and put on works by Chekhov, Ibsen and Strindberg. The residents take the plays to heart and start acting like characters in the plays. I feel I would have got more out of it had I been a bit more familiar with the source material but still not bad at all. Annoyingly, the man in the row behind me seemed to find it knee-slappingly funny and I felt a bit short-changed when I considered his hilarity compared to my mild amusement but there you go. Inevitably, at the end there was a standing ovation. I can’t remember the last time I went to a play in Dublin when there hasn’t been a standing ovation. I feel it’s a slightly devalued currency at this stage.

Mr. Waffle and I were invited to a Burns night supper by friends. His mother was Scottish so I suppose this was why they got into this in the first place. It was in the Royal Saint George yacht club in Dun Laoghaire organised by the Dublin Scottish Benevolent Society of St. Andrew. In advance we regarded it with some trepidation as we both had head colds but we were sufficiently recovered on the night to have a good time. The Burns night supper was completely unknown to me as a thing in advance and I had never tasted haggis in my life. My friend helpfully described it as being a bit like a wedding with speeches after dinner and some singing. An early highlight was the “Ode to a Haggis” which was delivered with great verve. Also, I found that I really like haggis – it’s delicious. The speeches, I understand, follow an unwavering pattern with a speech on Robert Burns “The Immortal Memory”; “A Toast to the Lassies” and “A Toast to the Laddies”. I found myself sitting right in front of the speakers which was fine until the singer sang one of Burns’s numbers (A Man’s a Man for A’That) unaccompanied and very loudly, eyes closed, face puce and about two feet from me. It was a little overwhelming. He sang a couple of later numbers accompanying himself on the guitar and I found these less stressful. We toasted the President and the Queen of England. I don’t remember doing the latter before in this jurisdiction. Since the yacht club still has the Union Jack engraved in the top of its gilt edged mirror it all felt a little odd. But Dun Laoghaire is a bit odd that way.

The speech on Burns was fine – continuing the Abbey Theatre theme it was delivered by one of co-directors of the Abbey, a Scot, Graham McLaren. I wonder how much he is enjoying that role as the Abbey always seems to have a couple of controversies on the boil. Anyway, to Burns, I have to say, I knew he was an important Scottish poet but hadn’t quite realised his role in the Scottish national psyche (I should have guessed from earlier when Mr. Waffle showed me a picture from a Scottish friend of his who is married to an Austrian – it showed her slightly grumpy, Austrian teenage son, decked out in his kilt for Burns night in Vienna). The “Immortal Toast” man gave lots of Robert Burns and his influence on me and Scotland stories.

The highlight of the toast to the lassies was a rather drunken heckler sitting at the table behind me who roared at the speaker that it was “RAbbie Burns, not RObbie Burns!” There was some communal singing which I enjoyed very much and which felt oddly like mass. And we sang “Auld Lang Syne”.

Our friends who invited us are members of the organising society and they were allowed to bring up to four people. In advance they explained that we would be joined by four other people at our table of ten. Our friends said that last year they had worried about what old fogies they might be put beside only to find themselves beside four people in their 20s and realising that they were the old fogies.

There were quite a few people there whom I knew from other contexts including a good friend of mine (who is also, coincidentally a colleague of our host, yes, Ireland is tiny and we all know each other) who was there with her Scottish husband (appropriately attired in kilt) and who was actually put at our table but tragically between our group of 6 and her and her husband there was a couple (lovely people I am sure etc.) unknown to any of us so that was a little unfortunate.

Overall though, a rather thrilling and exciting new experience to have at my vast age. Recommended.