My sister and I spoke on the phone during the week.
Round I
Me: You’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.
Her: Why?
Me (triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!
Her: What? What?
Me: I dropped Michael.
Her: Oh God!
Me: Not very far and on to the sofa, he didn’t like it much though.
Daniel poos.
Me: Did you hear that?
Her: I was trying to ignore it.
Me: That was your nephew doing a poo.
Her: Too much information.
Me: But my life is full of poo at the moment.
Her (tartly): But mine doesn’t have to be.
Me (grudgingly): Fair point.
Round II
Me: I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell me…
Her: No.
Me: Why not?
Her (crabbily): I haven’t seen you much since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I got my nose bitten off.
Me (even more crabbily): Have you any idea how hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?
Her (hastily): Anyway, I haven’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.
Me: It’s still all the same.
Her: Pregnant silence.
Me: Oh I see.
Knock out
Her: Anyway, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting.
Me: But you can’t go, I’m stuck under two feeding babies.
Her: Sorry.
Me (desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio is off.
Her: Gotta go, bye, talk to you soon.
I spend the next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.
Friar Tuck
on 21 November 2005 at 17:58
I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to work myself up to the expected level of indignation toward sis.on 22 November 2005 at 09:19
Yes, Minks and to add insult to injury a parcel arrived from her in the post yesterday for the Princess and the boys and now I feel guilty as well…FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone.
0Sweetie(s) given