belgianwaffle

Archives for July 2008

Nice neighbourhood as our American friends would say


Posted in: Belgium, Family, Ireland

On Friday morning, I said goodbye to an old friend who married another old friend.  They moved from London to a house a short walk from ours seven months ago.  Rejoice.  Now we’re leaving.  Alas.
On Friday night, I said goodbye to my friend down the road.  We met because we kept seeing each other pushing twin buggies : she has a five year old son and two year old twin girls.  She is Canadian though her mother is English.   I think her mother felt that it was fate that we should be friends so made a point of chatting to me every time she came to Brussels.  Her mother was right.

On Sunday, we said goodbye to our ex-upstairs neighbour who now lives in a very large and beautiful art nouveau house around the corner from the old friends in which he kindly let our children play chasing.  His own six month old was safely in Prague with her mother which makes the invitation to us all the more virtuous.  Imagine bringing children into your life when your own are not there.

We were promptly back at our house at 11.30 to sell our car to a nice Indian family.  There two girls (6 and 6 months) were exquisitely behaved and at least two of my children ran into the room naked (it’s hot, I let them play with running water in the sink, lethal combination) before I hustled them out (Princess’s interesting excuse: you said that you didn’t want me running around half naked in front of the people who were going to buy the car so I took off all my clothes).

Down to the end of the road, to play in the paddling pool in a school friend’s back garden.  Screaming, excitement.  Buns too.

Upstairs to tea in current neighbours’ flat.  I feel mildly depressed every time I see their flat because it is so beautifully decorated and immaculately tidy but otherwise identical to ours.  Despite their perfect flat they are immensely child friendly and our children adore them.  How much do I love Italians, let me count the ways?  She is an academic and off for the Summer; she took the Princess for two hours this morning while I negotiated with the bank and went to get back our documents from the Indian family.  Turns out that they didn’t want our car after all (associated with too much nudity?).  Mild bitterness.  Would anybody like a peugeot 306sw, only 72,000 kms?  Just asking.

Tomorrow, we leave for France, where we are staying in a  nice chateau to break the journey (6 hours total journey time but we are puny).  On Wednesday evening we will sleep on the ferry and on Thursday morning we will find ourselves in Ireland where I fully expect it to be raining.

Happy Anniversary


Posted in: Mr. Waffle

I don’t like memes normally as they don’t allow me to spray the detritus of my mind directly on to the page in the way you know and love.   However, a while ago, Charlotte had one that appealed.

Relationship Meme

1. Where/how did you meet?

We met in Brussels at a birthday dinner for the best dressed diplomat a friend of mine who has featured here before. He was just tagging along. I arrived early due to a never to be repeated series of errors (I am always late for everything) and he arrived early (because he is always early). We talked about Flemish modern dance. It turns out that I completely exhausted his knowledge of Flemish modern dance in that initial conversation.

2. How long have you known each other?

Since November 1998.

3. How long after you met did you start dating?

About two weeks, I’d say. When we met at dinner I was ill so I had to leave early (much to my chagrin) but I casually threw out a general invitation to go to the cinema. He rang me at work (having found out my number by gratifyingly diligent scouting) to say he couldn’t go on the general invitation night but would I like to go another night. Delighted. Not so pleased when we arrived at the cinema and a bunch of my Italian friends filed in behind us, notably undermining the romance.

4. How long did you date before getting engaged?

About 2 years.

5. How long was your engagement?

5 months

6. How long have you been married?

7 years.

7. What is your anniversary?

July 28.  Today, yes, today.  Happy anniversary lovely husband.  However, I always wanted to get married in May when there were cherry blossoms. It  turns out that this is not uncommon and we would still be unmarried today, if we were waiting for a church and hotel in May.  If the Princess gets married, she has agreed to do it in May. Can only hope that this agreement will be more lasting than that to clean up her bedroom.

8. How many people came to your wedding reception?

About 100. We really wanted to have lots of our friends and not so many cousins who we only saw once a year.

9. What kind of cake did you serve?

That was another thing. I couldn’t see the point of a cake and though my mother was really keen, I just didn’t think it was worth shelling out for. In retrospect, I cannot imagine why I became so hung up on this point, particularly since my parents were doing the shelling. All the same, nobody noticed that we didn’t have a cake. It did lead to one embarrassing moment though. My uncle and aunt didn’t feel up to driving home from the wedding at night so they brought my cousin as a chauffeur and, of course, we invited her. When my brother brought her up and introduced her to the table of old family friends and siblings, they all chorused “we thought this was the ‘no cake, no cousins’ wedding”

10. Where was your wedding?

We were married in the chapel across the road from where my parents live, so I was able to walk across – it was a beautiful day.

11. What did you serve for the meal?

Lamb maybe, I can’t really remember, I asked my poor mother to do a lot of the choosing. I do remember feeling extremely grateful that when we arrived at the hotel and my new husband was hot and hungry, they immediately produced a ham sandwich at my request leading to a much chirpier spouse.

12. How many people were in your bridal party?

Not quite sure what a bridal party is. My poor long suffering sister was my bridesmaid and Mr. Waffle’s friend was his best man. Mr. Waffle’s brother played the organ and my friend M. sang.

13. Are you still friends with them?

Yes.

14. Did your spouse cry during the wedding ceremony?

No; he did look nervous though that may just have been the photographer who was constantly ready to spring.

15. Most special moment of your wedding day?

Walking back together to my parents’ house from the church – married!

16. Any funny moments?

Many funny speeches though arguably the funniest moment was inadvertent when my father forgot my husband’s name and then called me by my sister’s name. He got a good laugh too when he said “Anne learnt to speak early and she has lived up to that youthful promise”.  Mr.  Waffle also provided some unintentional comedy when he said “We are particularly delighted that the best dressed diplomat and her husband are here, BDD because she introduced us and her husband because, um, because, um, (lamely), if he hadn’t agreed to come, she probably wouldn’t be here.”

17. Any big disasters?

No.

18. Where did you honeymoon?

Tour of Spanish and Portuguese paradors and pousadas, beginning here which is possibly the nicest place I’ve ever stayed.

19. For how long?

2 or 3 weeks.

20. If you were to do your wedding over, what would you change?

I’d be a little more biddable on the cake and the cousins.

21. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

The left, near the door.

22. What size is your bed?

Not big enough for five of us.

23. Greatest strength as a couple?

Common interests. Doesn’t that sound dull, but it’s true. Don’t knock it.

24. Greatest challenge as a couple?

Lark married to owl.

25. Who literally pays the bills?

Both of us, depends on the bill.

26. What is your song?

I don’t think we have a song. Unless it’s the Spanish version of Gloria.

27. What did you dance your first dance to?

Moon river. It was supposed to be Perfect Day but I forgot the CD.

28. Describe your wedding dress?

White, straight with shoulder straps and a wrap thing.

29. What kind of flowers did you have at your wedding?

Pink lilies, I think. Can’t really remember what we had at the church and I had a very fancy hair do with flowers poked into it which I still think looks beautiful when I look at the photos. Though, I vividly remember that the day after the wedding it looked like I had been pulled through a hedge backwards.

30. Are your wedding bands engraved?

No.

31. And my own question, invented by me:  What advice about weddings would you give to someone who is about to get married?

A.Go around to all the tables and speak to people while they are eating.  You will not be hungry and they will all be delighted to see you.  Otherwise you won’t see everyone and that would be a shame.

B. Feel free to stint on everything, except the photographer.  Nobody will really notice the food (unless it is unspeakably dreadful or utterly fabulous) or the flowers (at all, under any circumstances, I fear, this is especially true for unmarried friends) or care particularly but you will have the photographs for the rest of your life.

Pink to make the boys wink


Posted in: Belgium, Ireland, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Reading etc.

When I was a child, little girls did not wear pink all the time.  I was a child of the 70s, so orange was the dominant tone of my childhood.

When did pink take over?  Little boys don’t have to wear blue all the time.  Why should little girls have to wear pink?  My loving husband would be the first to point out that when the Princess was a baby, I went out and bought a range of pink things.  Well, I’m tired of it now.  I note that in Belgium, pink does not dominate in the same way as in Ireland though after spotting a number of girls in hot pink at the foire du midi this afternoon, I may have to reconsider.  I am informed that in Italy, it is not uncommon to dress baby girls in black.  Trendy but a little alarming, I imagine.  I bet they get through a lot of pink all the same.
Is it all Walt Disney’s fault?  Is it easier to market to little girls, if everything is pink?  Is there a conspiracy?  Do I only care because my daughter looks better in blues and greens?

Weighty questions for a Saturday evening while my husband is off emptying out his office.  Rather ominously, he feels it will take all evening.  Where will we put everything?
In a related packing question, my husband and I were discussing what we would take with us in the car rather than leave to the mercy of the movers.  “Only important things” we agreed.

“Like the family photo albums,” I said.

“Like my degrees,” he said simultaneously.

This neatly sums up some sexist assumptions.  I don’t even know where my degrees are, I should have left them in Cork with my mother where they were safe.  Maybe I should wear more pink.

Random Links


Posted in: Reading etc.

Please see Mike’s list of 50 things to do before you die which is definitely the best list of this kind that I’ve ever seen.

Nicholas drew this to my attention: “For the three of you who care and haven’t seen it: Match It for Pratchett“. I am one of the three and I suspect my aunt is one of the last two. Are you the other one?

I’m not sure how I found this blog but I love it. I’m not saying that I always agree with it. She does not, oh she definitely does not, approve of people who let their children eat products from the supermarket before they have reached the check out. Guilty. But still, I love her firm laying down the law; she doesn’t have any of that wishy-washy oooh, I wonder what I should do, am I doing it right angst about child-rearing. I like that. I quite look forward to her nuggets of stern advice though, I think, if she saw how I am bringing up my children, she might shoot me.

In a completely different vein, I came across this put together by the mothers of dead babies. It is beautifully written and very moving but only for reading, if you’re feeling strong.

Le plat pays


Posted in: Belgium

In the mornings in the car, I often catch a programme on Belgian radio called “Mon grand-père, ce héros“.  It’s a clever little programme which has descendants of famous people talking about their famous antecedents (famous Belgians, I know).  There was a lovely one earlier in the week about the Chinese artist who worked with Hergé on “The Blue Lotus” and a slightly more prosaic one on Jules Destrooper.  But, today, as I drove up towards the Avenue Louise with the Etangs d’Ixelles in sunshine in my rearview mirror, they had Jacques Brel’s daughter talking about her father and, of course, they played one of his songs.  Plus Belge, tu meurs.

Anyone tired of the advance nostalgia yet?

Advice on twins, please


Posted in: Boys, Daniel, Michael

When I thought about school for the boys initially, I had assumed that I would put them in the same class.  Then the school told me that, normally (or normalement as we say in Belgium, how I will miss that expression), they put twins in separate classes.  I decided that this was cruel and heartless.  I consulted and both twins I knew said that they had been in the same class as their twin siblings and they seem like pleasant, well-adjusted people.

Then, I was talking to the women who work in the creche whom I find very helpful and reliable.   They said that Daniel wants to play with Michael all the time.  Some days, Michael does not want to play with Daniel (fair enough) and then Daniel gets cranky (who could blame him?).  Apparently, there are never times when Michael wants to play with Daniel and Daniel does not want to play with Michael.  Their advice would be to separate them at school.

I had noticed that Daniel says that Alice is his friend but when I enquired at the creche, they said that Alice and Michael tend to play together and Daniel waits until they have finished and grabs Michael. My poor little mite.

They are both, of course, great fantasists, like their sister.  Whenever they hurt themselves, they both say “It’s not funny.”  When I ask them why, they say that Manon laughs when they hurt themselves at the creche.  On enquiry, creche staff confirmed that Manon, who seems like a very sweet little girl, is in fact a sweet little girl and very gentle. However, on hearing the context, they explained that some time ago Manon had fallen over and hurt herself and Daniel and Michael had both pointed and laughed at her whereupon they were both severely reprimanded.  On the plus side, it does look like they’ve learnt their lesson. On the minus side, I don’t think that they are ever going to forgive Manon for her imaginary offence, she remains a hate figure who mocks the injured, chez nous.  I digress.

At home, it is clear that Michael is the ringleader and Daniel dutifully falls into line.  We call Michael “dangermouse”.  He is the only one of our children who likes risk.  Daniel is by far the most obliging of our three children.  If we want to quell a fight over a precious object, it is most frequently Daniel who is called upon to give up his claim; because we know he will.  I know this isn’t fair but we’re tired.

On closer questioning, both of my grown-up twin advisers (one of whom is, handily enough, the dominant twin and the other the passive), agreed that on balance, it probably would have been better had they been in different classes from their twins at school though, at the time, they certainly didn’t think so.

So, what do you think?  Were the twins you know in the same class in school or different classes?  From what age?  What worked best?   I await any comments with bated breath (well, I always await comments with bated breath but in this case particularly bated breath).