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Wedding!

14 April, 2019
Posted in: Ireland, Middle Child, Princess, Travel, Twins, Youngest Child

So, my oldest friend, M, got married yesterday. Our parents were friends and she is a year older than me so I have known her since I was born – 50 years ago as regular readers will be aware.

I haven’t been to a wedding in a while – I’m waiting for my friends’ children to start getting married – and I did enjoy it. I described M’s father’s funeral last year. It was sad that he wasn’t there as he would have hugely enjoyed it all and made a great speech to boot.

The wedding was in Bantry House which was lovely but absolutely freezing – consider yourself warned. I spent much of the evening crouched by various fires. When it came to dinner in the huge dining room (possibly originally a ball room) one of the other guests who was sitting near me had both a shawl and a poncho and lent me the latter: she was a Bulgarian and many years of living in Ireland appears to have given her little confidence in Irish people’s ability to heat their houses. This was fortunate for me.

The wedding brought a range of visitors from far flung places including Argentina, Canada, Vietnam and Brazil. The bride’s cousins had come from England. I hadn’t met them since we were all little girls and I confided to these grown up, sophisticated English women that I had regarded them with great bitterness when I was a child as, for weeks before they came to visit M spoke of little else and I was terrified of being usurped. They were a bit nonplussed for a moment and then started to apologise. Honestly, English people can be truly charming.

Notwithstanding its freezing nature, I loved, loved, loved the venue. I’m not sure why but I’ve never been to Bantry before. Bantry House is a delight and as wedding guests we were free to wander around and inspect a number of the rooms which I enjoyed hugely. I am very keen to go back and stay in the B&B they run and have a tour of the house (will definitely bring my hot water bottle though).

The bride and groom were visibly delighted which made everyone cheerful. They picked their own readings for the ceremony, made their own vows had a friend officiate and another friend sang. I knew I would cry and came prepared with tissues.

Speech of the night came from the groom’s 17 year old son who was funny and touching. After dinner there was a great magician. Not words I ever thought I would utter but he was really entertaining.

The music was calculated to appeal to the mature audience. You have not lived until you have seen a 78 year old lady dancing very handily to “Love Cats” by the Cure (the bride’s aunt, since you ask – looks amazing and very on top of who everyone was “Oh,” she said to me, “I remember you, you used to come and play with M.” True.)

What was really nice as well was that Mr. Waffle and I had a weekend away – just the pair of us – for the first time in ages. On Saturday morning we wandered around Bantry delighted with ourselves and bought various crafty things including a large basket for turf which we carried back to the hotel between us looking as cool as you might imagine.

Herself was 16 on Friday (hold your breath for a long post on that milestone) and I felt a bit of a heel abandoning her but she wanted to stay in Dublin and Mr. Waffle’s wonderful sister had her to stay and showed her a good time. The boys stayed in Cork. My brother and sister looked after them and they seem to have had a great time also. A win all round, I hope.

Today was a bit of a long day. We left Bantry about 11, picked up the boys from Cork, stopped in Cashel for lunch about 2 (I was still full after a large breakfast and ordered the warm salad with bacon and black pudding – a plate heaped with lardons and almost a whole black pudding dowsed in salad dressing arrived, after some digging I found a solitary lettuce leaf cringing miserably at the bottom of the bowl – when they say bacon and black pudding in Tipperary, they mean it) and got home at about 4.30. Herself had been dropped home shortly beforehand by her loving aunt which was great. The cat had been sick on our bed and the rug which was less great.

How was your own weekend?

Kitchen Horrors

2 April, 2019
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

When we moved in to this house 6 years ago, we did some work but stopped before we got to the kitchen as we couldn’t afford any further work.

For six long years, we lived with a freezing kitchen and a corner where you could see the earth as the tiles had disappeared – the tiles were laid on earth, the walls were uninsulated, no wonder it was freezing. When deciding to renovate the kitchen, my main objective was to get to a situation where all of my children would feel happy eating in the kitchen in winter with their coats off.

Have a before picture:

2019-01-06 22.37.39

We spent all of last year deciding that we couldn’t afford to knock down the utility room at the same time and, even more time consuming, finding a builder. We had a number of false dawns with the builder due to start in the summer while we were on holidays, in the autumn while Herself was in France and finally at the start of December. I wouldn’t let them start in early December because I knew that despite their assertions, they would not be finished by Christmas. I now know that had we let them go ahead we would have had no kitchen wall at Christmas so go me.

Untitled

They were due to definitely, definitely start on January 2 and finally did start on January 9.

It took forever and the house was full of dust for months. They left about 2 weeks ago but we still have their cement mixer, our snag list and an outstanding payment of €5,000 so I am hoping that they’ll come back.

The whole thing was a bit grim. At every stage there were unanticipated questions and decisions to make and it took a lot out of us.

The enemy of promise: the wheelbarrow in the hall.

IMG_3535

We put in a downstairs bathroom as well and the window frame for it was the wrong colour, there was a scratch on the chrome unit (which I wouldn’t have noticed had it not been dutifully pointed out to me by the plumber) and although the room is tiny due to pipe positioning it is laid out like a chicane. I have made my peace with it.

In the kitchen, we wanted to save our Victorian tiles but we couldn’t (currently residing in the shed along with the original Victorian window as we can’t bear to get rid of tiles or window but have no immediate plans for either). Choosing new tiles in a showroom out in the middle of nowhere at short notice does not rank as a high point in the process. Also, incidentally, trendy Outhaus tiles, who closes their showroom on a Saturday morning?

IMG_3551

The fridge turned out to be slightly too big for its allotted spot as the bricks on the alcove beside it were supposed to be only cladding and removed but were not and the fridge had to be put over the architrave of the door to the utility room.

The alcove which we had was insufficiently large to accommodate my mid-life crisis Aga so it had to be knocked down and despite reassurance that the arch could be rebuilt, it kind of couldn’t be. And then due to the flue positioning, the Aga still stuck out of its wretched specially created alcove.

Of course when it actually arrived, Herself took one look at it and described it as an “environmental crime scene”. Mr. Waffle said, “You’ll be able to tell people that your mother got one just before they were banned.” Adding further insult to injury, the front of the Aga had some microscopic break which necessitated the replacement of the front – they were v apologetic and all that but although due end March, it still hasn’t arrived.

The fitted kitchen wasn’t exactly the colour I expected (I thought it would be cream, it’s more yellow, I call it in the best Farrow and Ball style ‘a touch of bile’) and the handles I selected online were…larger than I expected. I have made my peace with this too.

We lost a wall as well during the coldest time of the year. Although that was not unexpected, it wasn’t exactly pleasant either; especially when the central heating went down. We lit the fire in the dining room for the first time. To stop ourselves freezing to death.

IMG_3669b

So the house was a building site. At the time of our works they were relaying water pipes in the road. They were (and still are) building student accommodation in a site behind the lane. There is more building work across the road and down the road. As of today I can still see 9 cranes from my house. I think at one point every builder in Dublin was employed within a 250m radius of my house. It was not restful. I still remember fondly the people we house-swapped with who described our house as an oasis of calm in the city. This is no longer true but at least now our interior is largely builder free. I remember without enthusiasm the morning I called to Michael my son and Michael the builder, Michael the contractor and Michael the kitchen fitter all answered, “Yeah?”

Notwithstanding the snag list and the Aga repairs, I am declaring our project complete. Am I pleased? Actually, I am. It’s not exactly what I wanted but it’s comfortable and the children can now all take their coats off in the kitchen and, chicane notwithstanding, a downstairs bathroom is a welcome development.

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I am not sure, however, that even when we can afford it, we will ever be strong enough to face bringing builders back into the house so the utility room may remain unchanged.

Funereal

30 March, 2019
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland

March has been a busy month. Mostly good things which I will relate in due course (hold on to your hats), but today has not been great.

At midday, I went to the funeral of the mother of a former colleague. She was an older lady and her youngest child was 45 and while it was sad for them, there was a lovely eulogy that showed a life well lived.

Before that, at 10.30, I went to a very different funeral. A woman who lives on the road who is about the same age as myself was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer three weeks ago. She went to hospital for an operation on Wednesday and she was dead on Thursday. We dropped down to the house yesterday to sympathise. I feel I have seen my fair share of corpses recently (it’s one wake after another here) but this lady looked truly dreadful: yellow and bloated. On Monday, someone saw her running in and out of the house to pack her bag for the hospital and now she is dead. Her daughter is an only child and just 15; when they were all younger, she and my children used to play together. Then yesterday she was there sitting on a chair beside her mother’s body welcoming mourners to the house.

The daughter sings in the pro-cathedral choir and her fellow choristers sang at the funeral mass. As herself whispered to me, “Now that’s a choir.” The readings were different from the usual ones as they were all about someone dying early. It was horribly sad and this afternoon we were all a bit wrung and hung around the house doing very little.

More cheerful material tomorrow, perhaps.


Cork

4 March, 2019
Posted in: Cork, Dublin, Family, Ireland, Middle Child, Twins, Youngest Child

I went down to Cork for the weekend. When I left Dublin on Friday lunch time, it was warm and sunny. Like a fool, I decided it was warm enough to go to Cork without my coat. Honestly, am I nine or forty nine? Normally, I get lifts all the time but for a variety of dull reasons, I had to get myself around without lifts this weekend. This is relevant.

When I got to Cork on Friday evening it was lashing. I cycled glumly to my parents’ house on a Cork bike. My parents’ house is so warm that I had more or less steam dried in about an hour which was just as well as I only had a solitary pair of trousers with me.

The next morning I woke up with a pain in my tooth. This was doubly annoying as I was at the dentist last week. It wasn’t super painful but more numb like when you get an injection. Over the course of the day it spread all around my top teeth in a slightly disturbing development.

On Saturday morning I cycled in to town. Obviously, I could have taken a coat out from my parents’ house but I decided that the weather would hold. I don’t know why I would have decided that and with a certain inevitability I got soaked again on the way back to my parents’ house. As my general mouth pain spread, I began to wonder whether I had given myself Bell’s palsy by recklessly cycling around in the rain without a coat. But it got better over the course of the day and was on both sides so, I decided probably not.

I visited my mother in the nursing home. She was awake and I knew that she recognised me because she looked at me and said, “Your hair is lovely.” This is literally all she said in the hour I was there. This is a long-standing fault line between us. She loves my hair long and I like it to be short; in fact, I think it really needs a cut. I’m glad she’s still in there somewhere in dementia land although the comment annoyed me as it invariably did when she was well, so some patterns seem to survive a great deal of change.

On Saturday night, my sister and I went to the cinema. We drove. Say what you like about the car, it’s good at keeping you dry.

I came back to Dublin early on Sunday morning. I cycled to the station in Cork and got soaked. I dried on the train. Then, I cycled home from the station and got soaked all over again. The rain in Dublin was considerably chillier than the rain in Cork. I arrived home freezing and damp to find that the builders had cut a power line and the heating. Unsatisfactory. Herself filled me a hot water bottle. On the plus side, my tooth pain completely disappeared. I suppose this is what this blog is going to be from now on as I move to my 50s: a litany of mysterious symptoms which come and go with no rhyme or reason.

On Sunday afternoon we went to inspect Dublin’s newest tourist attraction, the Vaults which was ok but more aimed at tourists than locals and probably for a younger crowd. We went off to a mild afternoon birthday celebration for Uncle A where Mr. Waffle dimmed the lights to blow out the candles causing unspeakable terror to my little niece, S. Is it bad that I found that mildly amusing? Herself babysat for them last night and as she went home, her aunt pressed a packet of Marietta biscuits into her hand, “Take these, please, we have to get rid of them, they’re like crack cocaine for S.”

When we got home we lit fires to try to keep us warm. It snowed outside. Overall, damp and chilly.

Michael is now taller than me as well. I suppose it’s only a question of time before Herself passes me out.

And how was your own weekend?

Embracing Middle Age

12 February, 2019
Posted in: Cork, Ireland

I bought a pair of new walking shoes in Matthews in Cork. I tried various pairs but none seemed right. The young man in the shop (a relative of the owners currently in his final year in German and business yes, I was there a while) brought me out a beige pair which he suggested I try. “But they’re so ugly,” I protested. “Those are your words,” he said, “I would say they are less aesthetically attractive than some of the other boots.” I tried them on. They were so comfortable. My young shop assistant looked at them critically, “You know,” he said, “they’re not quite so ugly on.” Reader, I bought them.

This Pronunciation Varies*

11 February, 2019
Posted in: Cork, Ireland, Siblings

My sister was in Chicago the week it was very cold and snowy. Miraculously, she got in and she got out. Her flight out of Chicago was much delayed but she got in to Dublin about midday. She then picked me up and drove us both to Cork.

I offered to drive, I really did but she has a new car and, secretly, I think she doubts my ability to keep it scratch free. It was lovely to have her to myself for the day even if she was exhausted. We stopped en route for lunch in Kildare Village (my struggles with which I have previously documented). I spent a fiver on lipbalm from Penhaligon which was profligate and €7.50 on a vase from Villeroy and Boch which was definitely a bargain.

As we approached Cork, I asked her “Will you go straight to bed when you get home?” “Oh no,” said she, “I have to spend a couple of hours answering emails.” I was suitably horrified by the work ethic expected from her American overlords. “But then,” I said, “then, you’ll go to bed.” “No,” she said, “I’m going to a record launch in Cawlan’s”. “Where?” “Cawlan’s.” “Never heard of it, spell it.” “C-O-U-G-H-L-A-N-S” “Oh,” I said, “Cocklan’s”. “No, Cawlan’s, you’ve just been out of Cork too long, you don’t know how to pronounce it any more,” said she.

I let it go, she was driving after having been awake for 36 hours and flown out of a snow bound mid-West. But I knew I was right.

Later that evening, my brother asked me would I run him to the pub in the car. “Sure,” said I, “where are you going?” “Cawlan’s.” I am a broken woman.

*You know from Hilaire Belloc ” But this pronunciation varies/ Some people call it Buenos Aires.”


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