Email from husband:
For URL nerds
Was looking at headlines on Google news (as you do) and saw this thing about a foiled plot to plant a hoax bomb in Kildare so as to annoy the Queen. The story is a bit dull but what amused me was the Belfast Telegraph’s URL classifications: local ? National ? Republic of Ireand ? Let’s have them all !
http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/local-national/republic-of-ireland/gardai-foil-dissident-gangrsquos-plot-to-disrupt-queenrsquos-visit-16002331.html
Mr. Waffle
Trouble in Paradise
Background: It is the Easter holidays. Mr. Waffle is minding the children every morning this week. As you know, regular lengthy exposure to small children can lead to tetchiness. I have been sailing into work early unencumbered by anything in particular, having made no sandwiches, dressed no one, given no one breakfast and driven no one to school. In the evenings, I return all sweetness and light.
I overheard this exchange from the kitchen this evening.
Daniel: I wish we had two Mummies.
Michael: Well, I don’t.
Daniel: Why not?
Michael: Because then we’d have to have two grumpy Daddies as well.
Curse you, Jacqueline Wilson
Her: In my Jacqueline Wilson book, it says there is no Santa, it’s just your parents. It’s true, isn’t it?
Me: Pathetic strangled noise followed by equivocal reply.
On consultation with my loving husband, I discovered that she had put the same question to him and he had replied that Jacqueline Wilson writes fiction and everything in her books is fictional. Which was very clever but too late for me.
Cultural Differences
When Mr. Waffle was in France recently, he found himself reading an article in some French mag with tips from female reporters. He says it was very odd, all about how to keep your hair looking good in a war zone (hairspray apparently). Does this happen in magazines in other countries? Discuss.
A Tale of Love and Home Improvements
We are getting new windows. I know, just as we are thinking of moving. Don’t be at me. They were scheduled to come early in the morning. I had a meeting first thing and my loving husband was on duty. Inevitably, as I sat in my meeting my phone rang.
Send text to unknown number: Am in mtg.
Have a thought, send follow-up text: Are you windows? If yes, call my husband.
Sit thinking that, if not windows, text will be unfortunate. Phone bleeps.
Message from windows: Sorry its R from [company]. alarming going off.wondering do u have code. cheers.
Reply: Sorry. No idea. We never use it. Try husband.
Message from windows: Cheers he’s here now.
Me to husband: Code might be in house file.
Husband to me: I was able to remember it from 2008. Glad you married me?
Me: Yes.
Incident
The childminder took the children to the park yesterday. Some big bold boys ran after them, tried to kick them, shouted at them and called them names. The childminder departed with the children in tow and the bullies following. They only left when the children got on the bus home. The Princess is particularly upset, pointing out that they tried to kick Daniel she said, “I can do that, but no one else is allowed to.” They were all a bit shaken up. Later in the evening, Daniel said to me, “Mummy, the mean boys in the park called me [insert nasty racist epithet here] what does that mean?” Lovely. Proof that racists are stupid, I suppose. Mr. Waffle said to them, that these were children who weren’t looked after properly and taught properly and they probably wouldn’t have very happy lives. I was much less inclined to go with the wishy-washy liberal approach than usual and just said that they were nasty children [looks like it’s true – a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged].