Mr. Waffle

While I was off gallivanting in Cork, Mr. Waffle was interacting with our internet service provider. We were with UPC but when the rates went up, we decided to go back to Eircom, being the savvy, 21st century consumers that we are. While I was in Cork with the children, Mr. Waffle copied me on the following correspondence. I think that they may have broken us.

From: Mr. Waffle

To: Me

Latest from Kafkaseque world of Eircom.

 ———- Forwarded message ——–From: Mr. Waffle

Date: 19 February 2015 at 22:35
Subject: Fwd: Confirmation of your cancellation request

To: phonecancellations@eircom.ie
Cc: getmore@eircom.ie

 Dear Sir or Madam

 I received an e-mail from Eircom (below) asking me to contact you to cancel an order. I am not sure why this is necessary, so I will explain the background.

 Until recently I was getting phone, broadband and TV from UPC. I decided to switch to Eircom and signed up with you on-line on 2 February 2015. It is now over two weeks later and I have no idea when I will actually receive any service from Eircom.

At present, UPC supplies phone, broadband and TV through a TV cable. There is no telephone socket in my house. This fact seems to have caused a lot of difficulties for Eircom.

 As I mentioned, I signed up on-line on Monday 2 February.The form allowed me to designate an installation date and I asked for the first available date, Monday 9 February.

After a few days I had not heard anything from Eircom so I called on 4 February to enquire when the installation would be. I was told the installation would be 24 February. I explained that we had no telephone socket and I was told that this required two separate appointments: a first visit to install the telephone socket and a second to install the remaining equipment. The person I spoke to said this first visit would be scheduled for 16 February.

Shortly after that call, I got an email confirming the installation date of 24 February.

I never got any written confirmation of the appointment for 16 February. On the morning of 16 February I called Eircom to confirm the appointment – I was told the technician would come between 9 and 6. I arranged for somebody to be in house all day. In fact, the technician never came.

At around 6.30 pm I called Eircom again to ask if the technician was still coming. I spoke to two people. Neither was aware of the appointment. The second person (O*) said my telephone line was active. I explained that the existing line was UPC cable, but we had no phone socket. O said the order had to be cancelled and a new appointment set up – this could take 5/10 days, but she would see if this could be done faster. She said somebody would contact me the next day (17 February) to give more information.This did not happen.

 Yesterday (18 February) I called Eircom and explained the situation to various people (F who passed me on to K, who hung up, and B who passed me on to A) with long intervals on hold. My last conversation that day was with A of the loyalty team – I explained the situation to her again, and she said the account needs to be closed.

The computer system would not allow this for about 24 hours but I should call again today (19 February). She told me that my home phone number which was formerly with UPC has been transferred to Eircom and is listed as active on the Eircom system. Since there is no telephone socket, I cannot actually connect a telephone to the line. (In fact, the phone no longer works, presumably because UPC is no longer providing this service). The fact that the line is listed as active is apparently an obstacle to having the telephone socket installed.

 I called today and explained the situation again to V. She said I would have to cancel all of the order (including the telephone line) and start the ordering process all over again. I asked if this meant I could decide to abandon the order with Eircom and go (for example) to Sky. She said yes, as I am not currently in contract with Eircom. As yesterday’s conversation involved the loyalty team, they would have to cancel the line. She passed me on to P of the loyalty team. After I explained the situation again, he said that he would cancel the telephone line and have a sales agent call me so a new order could be placed. He said that cancelling the order would take 24/48 hours. I explained that my aim was to get a service from Eircom and that ideally I would like to have the first appointment (to instal the telephone socket) in time for the second appointment (scheduled for 24 February). P said he could not give me precise dates but that he would do his best to resolve the situation.

 I assume that this is why I received the message below. I am not sure why there is a reference to 30 days’ notice (this might make sense if I was currently receiving a service from Eircom but I am not, and indeed V today told me that I am not even in contract with Eircom.)

I still want to sign up for phone, broadband and TV from Eircom as I first requested on 2 February. If the telephone line has to be cancelled to resolve an internal Eircom computer problem, I am happy to do this. However, I do not want to be sent to the back of the queue and miss my current appointment of 24 February. That date is three weeks after I first signed up with Eircom, and if I have to start again this implies waiting six weeks to get service.

 I would be grateful if you could advise me on how best to resolve this problem. If you wish to discuss, please feel free to e-mail me or call me.

——– Forwarded message ———-  Date: 19 February 2015 at 14:20

Subject: Confirmation of your cancellation request

To: Mr Waffle

We spoke to you today in relation to cancelling your bundle service with us. As advised, you are required to give 30 days notice in order for this to happen. Below is a list of instructions which will allow us to progress your cancellation.

Please send an email, including your eircom account number (detailed above) and phone number(s) that you wish to cancel to phonecancellations@eircom.ie or please write to eircom Account Administration Unit, Unit 6B Westgate Business Park, Ballymount, Dublin 15.

The cancellation of your eircom service will be carried out after 30 days upon receipt of your email. If you have already sent an email to cancel but have changed your mind, please contact us on 1800 503 303.

Thank you,

eircom  Limited.

As of today, do we have our eircom service up and running?  What do you think?

*Names redacted to protect the guilty

The other night, Mr. Waffle was due to go to the Residents’ Committee AGM. “Just try not to be elected chair,” I begged him. Half an hour before the meeting was scheduled to start, the current chair sidled into our hall and begged him to take over. She had been chairing for years, her parents were old and ill and no one else was likely to step forward. I sidled off to the kitchen, head in my hands. Later that evening, Mr. Waffle was made chair of the Residents’ Committee by popular acclaim.

Oh woe.