belgianwaffle

Reading etc.

LRB personals


Posted in: Reading etc.

For the literary types:
Salinger, 33, seeks Sagan.
For the weird:
There’s enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three electric cars across a sizeable desert. I’m more than aware that this isn’t actually a selling point, but nonetheless it’s my favourite statistic about me.  Man, 33 – officially Three Cars Craazy.
Box no.07/10

I mean, really, is he honestly hoping for a bulging postbag?
Yeah, ok, I’d prefer him to Salinger seeking Sagan as well, but I’m not sure that he’s selling his best points..

Meanwhile the organisers of the bottle of champagne prize for best personal ad are out of control, see this:
“Box no. 07/08 sent a complimentary letter with her ad, so she gets the champagne this issue and also sets a precedent for others to follow. Ads are 80 pence per word, but manners and pathetic grovelling cost you nothing.”

Things not to say to a pregnant woman


Posted in: Reading etc., Twins

“Gosh, you seem to get bigger every half hour”
“Do you know you pant when you climb up to the third floor?”
“How can you bend over to pick up your little girl?”
“Were you this enormous last time?”
“If the babies are 375 grams and 410 grams now, that means they have to increase 10 times in weight before they’re born”
As the pregnant one takes off her coat “Oh my goodness, you’re pregnant”. As she turns to hang it up “Very pregnant! What are you:8 months?”

And while we’re on the subject of tactlessness and pregnancy, you may not have had the opportunity to read about Venetia Quick who is a presenter on some Dublin radio show.

Herself and her partner were in the Irish Times weekend magazine (itself a publication inspiring both pity and horror) last Saturday. Here’s what the article says:

“Eight months pregnant with her first child, Q102 presenter and producer Venetia Quick is never out of her killer heels and refuses to spend money on maternity wear. “My only concession to pregnancy has been a pair of size 12 low cut jeans and some stretchy combats,” she says. “I’ve covered the bump with belts, cardigans, scarves.  I’ve been as creative as I can.”

Yes, Venetia, making friends and influencing people, eh� No, I am not just jealous.

Comments
Minkleberry

on 05 June 2005 at 17:55

belts? Is she a leprechaun??

gingerandorange

on 06 June 2005 at 01:32

everyone else is just jealous and ‘Venetia’ is clearly in denial

poggle

on 06 June 2005 at 10:54

I feel sorry for the woman – imagine being called Venetia Quick. Dear me.
And I bet she’s bought American size 12s. Innit.

Kate_Sith

on 06 June 2005 at 17:39

I worked with a girl last year who was pregnant with twins and still wearing size 12 trousers from top shop ‘with the top button undone’. I think I was at school last time I fitted into a Topshop trouser.

belgianwaffle

on 08 June 2005 at 20:30

OOOH, you are all so nice. Well, assuming the best in your case JD. And TWO sweeties G&O, too kind. Pog, I would love to agree with you but there was a photo in the bloody magazine and she does look nauseatingly svelte. Kate, distressing. Minks, I liked your comment the best, could you are the bees knees.

dmts

on 08 June 2005 at 20:34

Good lord – I can’t cover up a big lunch with a belt – I think I may be in trouble.

belgianwaffle

on 09 June 2005 at 21:20

No, not at all. It’s when you can’t cover yourself with a double decker bus that trouble looms.

Beth

(Homepage)

on 10 June 2005 at 18:56

Hey, can I come rub your belly? I like that even better than the boneheaded comments.

belgianwaffle

on 11 June 2005 at 15:09

Yeah, that is annoying…it’s still my stomach, in there somewhere.

Sarcastic Journalist

(Homepage)

on 15 June 2005 at 04:39

I also love “Wow. You’re huge!” or another personal favorite
“You planned this so why are you freaking out?”

belgianwaffle

on 15 June 2005 at 22:04

Hello, sarcastic journalist. I like your blog. I also like the simplicity of “Wow. Your’re huge”. Obviously, that’s not the kind of thing you’d notice by yourself.

Why?


Posted in: Reading etc.

In conclusion, for those of you interested in baby poo, may I encourage you to go and check out� Dooce’s recent post on this matter.

Comments
jackdalton

on 29 May 2005 at 16:44

With the amount of killing-field juices that they pour into such pools, I reckon you’re safe enough on that score Loco.
But longer term resulting blindness… that’s another issue.

Locotes

on 30 May 2005 at 10:32

Indeed. Couple that with the white hair I’d end up with – no way I’m getting in there.

poggle

on 31 May 2005 at 10:52

Oh dear – you’re really not helping KE and menace putting in links like that, waffle.
Heh.

belgianwaffle

on 31 May 2005 at 13:21

Jack, Loc, I am so comforted by these observations…
Pog, no, eh? Har di har.

Apt


Posted in: Princess, Reading etc.

Thousands of Enclosures

High spec enclosures, plastic, GRP Aluminium & Stainless IP67 EEx’e’

What my blog advertised after reading about morning  wrestling with toddler.

Comments
belgianwaffle

on 15 May 2005 at 20:26

Very scary and also a little unintelligible..

Bobble

on 15 May 2005 at 23:16

Mine seems to be constantly advertising Pope Benedict bracelets… nice.Glad to see you are still here and well Waffly.

jackdalton

on 16 May 2005 at 00:09
(
Comment Modified) Waf: So you’ve never had a rabbit-hole moment on the net? Lucky old you….. Be nice.. she’s new to all this.
Bobs: hello! Good to see you are still around here too… 🙂

Bobble

on 16 May 2005 at 16:23

And you Jack.
I do lurk occasionally but mostly can’t blog during the day now at work…

belgianwaffle

on 16 May 2005 at 20:21

Bobble, lovely to see you – I’m sure a Pope Benedict bracelet would be delightful.
JD, er, no.

jackdalton

on 17 May 2005 at 14:55

And I suppose you’re going to tell me next that you never read Alice in Wonderland or saw The Matrix either?
Come on ‘waf… you’re just being too clingy and unadventurous. Must be the voitures…

belgianwaffle

on 17 May 2005 at 21:29

Scary the old voitures…

And she won too.


Posted in: Reading etc.

Heather is in the Swiss blog awards. I don’t think she’s really too pushed about it herself but you know, I thought it would be nice.  But I can’t work out how to do it and unless someone explains to me soon, I won’t bother (though, I suppose since HJB doesn’t care, it’s no big deal or anything).

Comments
jackdalton

on 05 May 2005 at 15:00

I wouldn’t vote for her… she’s too good to win. Only mediocraties ever win those things.

dmts

on 05 May 2005 at 15:06

Oh Waffly – how lovely. Actually this is the Swiss being terribly punctual about things – I don’t think it’s happening until next year but Matthias asked me to mention it on the blog and I thought that a bit of blatant electioneering mentioning a few other Swiss blogs would be good.
Jack, that’s terribly sweet of you. I think.

KateEvans

on 05 May 2005 at 19:55

I thought Mediocrates was a Greek philosopher.

NorahSplog

on 05 May 2005 at 20:08

Until you discovered Smirnoff?

jackdalton

on 05 May 2005 at 22:49

And there I was quietly patting myself on the back for a reasonable, two-layer word-play when who comes along but The Spokesperson for the League of Anti-mediocrities herself….
There are times when I give up on this deep humour thing, KateEvans. Because there’s always a bigger fish… 😉

KateEvans

on 05 May 2005 at 23:26

So the old ones really aren’t the best ones, then? Rats.

jackdalton

on 06 May 2005 at 00:06

Only when they are delivered with panache and a certain kind of wide-eyedfaith. 😉
ps not a good idea to mention rats… it might upset someone round here.

poggle

on 06 May 2005 at 11:00

I heard that. Mind you, they don’t do so well round here ….

beachhutman

on 06 May 2005 at 11:25

Soddit, how DO you get a link into comments? I had some good ratty stuff here: http://www.20six.co.uk/nextEntries/qgmiaosnfzv5

belgianwaffle

on 06 May 2005 at 21:26

Pog, you are all knowing. Ta. Jack, Kate, Norah, this is all a bit beyond me, I hope you realise that. BHM, as a person who can’t even work out how to vote in blog awards, I am poorly positioned to answer that.
HJB, NEXT YEAR??? You realise that by then I will have three small children and it will take all my energy to get out of bed, pull on my dressing gown and struggle to the kitchen. If they can’t take my vote now, it may never come…

English Whimsey; American Genius


Posted in: Reading etc.

Am back rereading the collected Dorothy Parker. Particularly liked this from a review of an A.A. Milne offering.

“The cabinet minister talks softly and embarrassingly to Sally – “Ah Selly, Selly, Selly” – but that is not enough. He must tap out to her, on the garden wall, his message, though she is right beside him.  First he taps, and at the length it would take, the letter “I”. Then he goes on in to “l”, and, though surely everone in the audience has caught the idea, he carries through to “o”. “Oh, he’s not going on into “v””, I told myself. “Even Milne wouldn’t do that to you”. But he did. He tapped on through “v”, and then did an “e”. “If he does “y””, I thought, “I’m through.” And he did. So I shot myself. [….]

The play ends with him sitting at his desk, one hand tapping out “Good-bye, dear” – what a man; he must have had woodpecker blood in him! – while the other grasps the pen…”