Reading etc.

How much about a country can you tell from its songs for children?

17 July, 2005
Posted in: Princess, Reading etc.

An early favourite was “Il Ã©tait un petit navire”.

In verse one we are introduced to this little boat which has never been on a sea voyage.Â So far so good. Verse two sees the little boat making a long trip on the mediterranean. All positive. Around verse three things start to get less good. After five or six weeks the food starts to run out. Verse four is ominous, the crew draw straws to decide who should be eaten. Then in verse five we learn that the young cabin boy (since you ask mousse is the French for cabin boy) has drawn the short straw. But it is in verse six that we come to the essence of la belle France, there is a long dispute as to which sauce the cabin boy should be served with and I note that in the version I have linked to there is also a discussion as
to how he should be cooked (fried, perhaps?) which is lacking from our CD. Concerned readers will be relieved to hear that the virgin Mary comes to the rescue in verses seven/eight by piling the ship up with fish which leap on board.

Comments

on 17 July 2005 at 23:34

Good grief.
It’s like the wreck of the Medusa. And this is a nursery rhyme?
The French really toughen their kids up early.
Maybe that’s the answer. Hm. I’ll try and put Silence of the Lambs to rhyme, so I can teach it to my kids when I have them…..

Amy

on 18 July 2005 at 10:46

there is a french nursery rhyme, about plucking a birds head isnt there

on 18 July 2005 at 11:24

I am resisting the temptation to make absolutely filthy puns ……

on 18 July 2005 at 11:34

Resistance is futile… pun away or be assimilated into the 20sixcollective

on 18 July 2005 at 12:32

Just consider the topic of ‘eating young seamen’ and fill in the blanks yourself ……

on 18 July 2005 at 19:13

Gold star Amy, alouette (sp?) features bird plucking. It’s a strange country.
Pog, Jack, go stand on the naughty step.

on 19 July 2005 at 15:30

Oh farque …..

on 21 July 2005 at 00:28

NO!!! I won’t, I won’t I won’t! And you can’t make me 😛
[stamps foot: considers lying down with a (clean) nappy over head and having a good, old-fashioned, cathartic bawl]

on 21 July 2005 at 19:57

Pog, indeed. JD, that sounds hideously familiar.

Tag

18 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc.

Total number of books IÂ’’ve owned: No idea, tons, loads. As many as I can afford, I suppose.

Last book I bought: Well, if we exclude “Smartest Giant in Town” which I bought only yesterday, then it’s “Small Island” by Andrea Levy which I am enjoying very much and have now forced my bookclub to read.

Last book I read:Â Yesterday, I finally finished “The Bridge on the Drina” by Ivo Andric. Very worthy and most tiring. Have been reading it on and off for about a year I’d say (only about 300 pages but very dense pages).

Five books that mean a lot to me:

I’ve given this part of the question a lot of thought and I insist on explaining my answers.

“The Magician’s Nephew” by C.S. Lewis.Â This was the first proper book I read, I think. They had it in the library at the back of the classroom when I was in first class and I remember struggling with it but persevering.Â I still like it the best of all the Narnia
books.

“The Reluctant Widow” by Georgette Heyer. The first Georgette Heyer I read. I read it on a camping holiday with my family when I was about 12. I remember being amazed when the hero got together with the heroine (but they hate each other!). Maybe not
the best Georgette Heyer book but one that got me started on a lifetime of regency romances. I’d love to attribute this role to “Pride and Prejudice” which is much more highbrow and a book I’ve read at least 20 times but honesty compels me to say that if my choice of reading material on a desert island was between Jane Austen and
Georgette Heyer, I would not hesitate to select the latter.

“Portnoy’s complaint”Â by Philip Roth. My first boyfriend in college made me read this and I didn’t want to. I thought it would be dull and difficult. But it was hilarious and opened up a whole world of American fiction to me that I thought would be hard and boring. I still have a soft spot for Philip Roth though I thought “American Pastoral” was dire.

“Bury me Standing: The Gypsies and Their journey” by Isabel Fonseca. My only non-fiction offering. I am not normally as fond of non-fiction as fiction but I loved this book.Â It was fascinating. It also exposed to me many of the prejudices I have which I would have fervently denied in advance of reading this. A wonderful book. And if I were famous, they could put that on the back cover.

“What I Loved” by Siri Hustvedt. When I was pregnant with the Princess, my physiotherapist recommended this book to me. She said that there is was wonderful description of childbirth in it (do not be put off, this is a tiny bit of the book). She also said that she thought that Siri Hustvedt was an even better writer than her
husband Paul Auster. The thought that she (the physio) might like him put me off because I find Paul Auster terminally tedious.Â However, it was not a time in my life when I felt it appropriate to ignore the advice of my physiotherapist and I was right. It is
the most marvellous book about art and relationships and children and also slightly sinister. Fantastic. So fantastic that though I started reading it only just before the Princess was due, I finished it before I got to hospital and ended up taking in “Cold Mountain” to read during labour. Not recommended.

Um, five isn’t very many, is it. If people felt like indulging me, I would like to see what Heather, Lauren (from her boat) and Mr. Dalton have to say. I’d like to know about other people too but I’ve grown tired of adding links.

Meanwhile over at the LRB, they’re out of control. You remember they refused to issue the Champagne prize for best personal on a trifling pretext recently? Look what I found in other recent editions:

“The Classified Manager cried when we asked him to name a winner. That’s becasue he loves you all equally. As such, he’ll be keepint this issue’s prize on the basis that it’s unfair to pick a favourite”.

and then

“Box no. 08/09 doesn’t like to waste time of frivolities. So we drank the champagne for her. The empty bottle is on its way.”

My sub is up for renewal. It’s about 100 euros. Should I do it? Or am I only fooling myself that I will have time to read it?

Comments

on 19 June 2005 at 15:58

Yes to anything and everything Narnia (though I’m reserving judgement on the film coming out at Christmas), yes to Georgette Heyer and absolutely yes to Siri Hustvedt. What a book.

on 20 June 2005 at 16:26

Hiya Sus, always nice to have one’s views endorsed. We are obviously reading twins. Do you like Kate Atkinson and Mavis Cheek as well? By the by, fear film is bound to disappoint.

on 21 June 2005 at 00:10

Have read both, lukewarm feelings I’m afraid.I know-feel the same re film-got all excited at the cinema when I saw the trailer (in May for Christmas?!) but was kind of disgusted: if they’re going to go the whole hog, which they probably are, series being so lucrative at the mo, why are they starting with the bloody LTheW&TheW? 0

on 21 June 2005 at 14:21

Because Star wars started with Episode 4? 0

on 21 June 2005 at 19:58

Sus, alas. JD has a point though. 0

on 21 June 2005 at 23:54

Yes well.But I think you’ll both agree that there are a number of worlds of difference between Yoda and Aslan??? And just because Mr Lucas stuck his hand in the fire… 0

on 22 June 2005 at 12:23

Different worlds? Not at all — variation on a theme that’s all. But don’t get me started on that…. I have to kill a dog. 0

on 22 June 2005 at 15:52

It being midday & you being an Englishman in the sun? 0

on 23 June 2005 at 00:00

English!?! English!!! 0

on 24 June 2005 at 02:16

Well, I know. But you were all like “got to kill the dog” and it was midday…what’s a girl to think? (other than hee hee, successfully provoked?) 0

on 24 June 2005 at 11:04

Now that was just evil…. 😛 0

on 25 June 2005 at 13:23

That’s right…welcome to my world. 0

on 25 June 2005 at 20:11

Hi Sus, hi Jack, glad to see you two engaging in some slagging here. 0

on 26 June 2005 at 14:45

So… et me get this right. You are calling Sus a slag?! 0

on 26 June 2005 at 18:22

Eh, JD, I think I quote when I say “linguistically stunted”…to help you understand, I shall refer again to some worlds of difference, this time between the verb “to slag” and the noun “a slag”. Waffle, I knew what you were saying. 0

on 26 June 2005 at 18:57

Oh that’s ok so. I’d have been upset if you were. Because that would mean you were calling me one too. 😐
Thanks for the help Sus.
[ps I think the noun is slag; a being an indefinite article which can be added to a noun to form a noun group. But you would know that… being too old to classify as Generation Txt… 😛 ] 0

on 27 June 2005 at 19:56

As you say. But I just didn’t want to confuse you with little details 😉 0

on 27 June 2005 at 20:45
(
Comment Modified) [Got away with the ‘too old to classify as gen txt’ comment…*(evil grin)*] 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

on 28 June 2005 at 16:58

I thought it beneath me, really, to dignify that with a comment. But now I’m feeling happy happy happy so I will let you away with it… coz…
I know I’m younger than you. 0

on 28 June 2005 at 17:19

Ah… the cruellest cut! One of those five point palm exploding heart things… 0

on 28 June 2005 at 21:24

Hello, hello, it’s me, don’t forget me..I live here. 0

on 28 June 2005 at 22:55

I know you do! Look at how harsh JD is being to me – be mean to him with me…I promise it’s fun 😉 0

on 29 June 2005 at 01:01

Harsh?! I’m being positivly a gentleman-ish.
Oh hi ‘waf. Sorry for hogging your bandwidth. It’s her fault though. She’s the one being mean & cruel. So I have to assume the hard, calculating, dead-eye cynical stance for self defence. A bit like you, really 😛 0

on 01 July 2005 at 21:37

Clears throat noisily before entering blog and watches JD and Sus leaping apart nervously. 0

on 01 July 2005 at 22:15

Story of it all, isn’t it… I spend my life leaping – and usually before looking – in and out of places and events.
[Anyway, she’s too old for me…. ] 0

on 02 July 2005 at 08:44

Yes, I understand that gen txt as we must know you from now on… 0

on 11 July 2005 at 12:08

*peeks in*
*pats self on back for having read The Red Pony in Spanish*
*slides out again* (sinuosly coz nt nly s she yung bt also glriusly flxbl due 2 hrs spnt doing yga)
gen txt ws it? 0

on 11 July 2005 at 13:06

SEE!!! Cruel, clever snd mocking….. I’m going home and takin’ my football with me. So there… 😛 0

on 12 July 2005 at 17:11

Football? And yet you never struck me as the sporty type 😉 0

on 12 July 2005 at 19:31

Hidden depths 😉 0

on 14 July 2005 at 20:46

Hello are you two still here? Get out and enjoy the sunshine. 0

on 14 July 2005 at 23:11

We are. In separate parts of Europe. But we are…. 😛 0

on 16 July 2005 at 07:29

Well, that’s good.. 0

on 18 July 2005 at 17:50

*Gasps weakly*
It?s ten to seven and 36 degrees out there. Do I have to?
*bastes self in more sunscreen and crawls out again* 0

on 18 July 2005 at 17:52

AND she eats bee poo… 0

on 18 July 2005 at 18:03

*raises eyebrow*
*shakes head*
More puerile humour, Mr D? I had expected more…(or less?) 0

on 18 July 2005 at 19:06

Hello, hello, just checking in to see that you’re both still ok here. 0

on 18 July 2005 at 19:07
(
Comment Modified) Well, I’m upset… she’s hurt my feelings. And I’m lashing out indiscriminately.
Besides, I’ll be ok in a day or two when I’m on my holidays. 0

on 19 July 2005 at 20:26

You can have a little Haagen-Daaz too. (cures all wounds) 0

on 20 July 2005 at 22:13

Ok 🙂
But only if it’s Darina Allen haagen-dazs. And honey free. 0

on 21 July 2005 at 17:26

Hmm. I think both DA and HD would be very distressed to know that you think they work together…
I have banned the honey & ordered an extra tub for your holliers 🙂 0

Naming

15 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc., Twins

Some random things. I have been tagged by Fluid Pudding.
I am pleased and proud. Fluid Pudding is my hero, also I’veÂ never been tagged before so am revelling in new found popularity. I will spend some time mulling and revert. Hang on to your hats.

Via the sarcastic journalist, I have found a baby name site
which I believe is worth exploring further. This reminds me of
Mr. Waffle’s reading on twins. It appears people often like to
give their twins names that go together like Bob and Dylan.
Really, is it any wonder children hate their parents?

Comments

on 17 June 2005 at 11:42

I can commiserate, my H will be leaving me to go camping for 2 days while I look after a 2 year old and will be 7 months pregnant. He keeps on doing these ‘last chance before the baby comes’ things.

on 17 June 2005 at 12:20

We recently had a case involving twins called Darren and Derrin. That’s just cruel.

on 17 June 2005 at 18:30

Tod and Rod could work.

on 17 June 2005 at 21:15

Undercover, I’d never noticed that before but I bet you are right.
Lilo, does he not realise that he already has a baby? Though I suppose that the thought of all three of you going together is worse than letting him off on his own.
Kate, Locotes, good suggestions, I’ve come up with Aurora and Dawn, I think I may be on to something here or should I stick with Gobnait and Fachtna (Kate, you think these aren’t real names, but they are, oh they are, Loc, back me up here).

on 17 June 2005 at 23:44

My cats are Fortnum and Mason. But not for twins. oooh noooo.

on 18 June 2005 at 08:08

Oh, I dunno, has a certain ring to it…

on 19 June 2005 at 16:14

Larry and Barry.
Bill and Ben.
Grainne and Aine.
Or, of course, Podge and Rodge.I actually know a Fachtna – the poor sod…

on 20 June 2005 at 12:46

To be fair, if I didn’t want him to go, he wouldn’t. I’m just worried about filling the time without us getting cross with each other.

on 20 June 2005 at 16:20

Lilo, you mean you and the infant I presume, most understandable.
Locotes, Ben and Jerry?

on 21 June 2005 at 17:08

Haagen and Das?

on 21 June 2005 at 19:55

Sandy and Lexy?

Tallis and Byrd

14 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc.

These are the instructions we received from our neighbours on feeding their cats while they are away getting married. I like cats, but is this a little excessive?

There are two cats, T & B. T is the large tabby (ex-male). B is the smaller black-and-white one (ex-female), with a necklace round her neck saying “B”. T is on a diet & is perpetually hungry. Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “T” marked on it & a maximum level. The maximum level is for one day. For each meal, two rows of biscuits in the bottom of the glass are enough. (T doesn’t think so, but we know it). T will always eat all of his food & then try and eat B’s food as well, when she has finished eating. Therefore, while B is eating, you have to stay in the kitchen & watch her. When she has finished
(& she never eats everything in the bowl) put the bowl on top of the cupboard out of reach of T. If T manages to eat some of B’s food despite your precautions, deduct the amount he ate from his next meal.
B:
Inside the bag is a measuring glass, with “B” marked on it & a
maximum level. The maximum level is for B for one day. Since B never eats very much at one time, you might as well give her the maximum amount in her bowl all at once. When she has stopped eating, put the bowl out of reach. When she comes back in the kitchen asking for food, put the bowl down for her again, making sure T doesn’t get any. No need to throw away the biscuits she doesn’t eat. Just add more biscuits. She will eat everything eventually.Â In the same cupboard where the food is, there is a box of vitamin pills &
little bags of anti-hairball treats. You can give each cat one of each of these each day, if you want to.

Catcare

They both like being stroked & played with. There are brushes and toys for them in the top second drawer from the right in the big chest of drawers in the hall.

Enjoy.

Comments

Beth

on 14 June 2005 at 21:45

Clearly, you have never fed my cats. Doing so requires a 4 hour training course and memorization of a 216 page manual.

on 14 June 2005 at 22:11

That’s quite sweet and a little sick.

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

I can’t help but compare them to your instructions for looking after the Princess for 24 hours…..

on 14 June 2005 at 22:27

Whatever happened to bring them in, open a tin of KiteKat and a kick them out the door when done?
Those aren’t cats – they’re postmodern ersatz of some kind….

on 14 June 2005 at 22:45

Coated in mud and baked in a hot oven they make a nutricious snack

ladyjane

on 14 June 2005 at 22:46

The instructions sound like the “hard sums” we had to do in school….if T eats twice as fast as B and you use B’s measuring glass to fill one bowl for both to eat from, how long will it take for T to eat his/its recommended daily intake?

on 15 June 2005 at 10:46

That T must be a right porker if he can’t get on top of a cupboard …..

on 15 June 2005 at 21:54

Norah, Beth, you are obviously true cat lovers.
Kate, yes.
Lauren, that’s quite funny actually.
JD, well, yeah, that’s what I think…
BHM, precisely.
Ladyjane – excellent and very true.
Pog, T is one of the biggest cats I’ve ever seen. He’s the size of a small elephant with extra jowls.

on 17 June 2005 at 18:24

Jesus. We’re big cat people (that’s not as exciting as it sounds) – but all we do is slap some Whiskas in a bowl and let him at it. Tell those guys to stops arsing about with their instructions and boot T out for some exercise.
Some people…

on 17 June 2005 at 21:12

Yes, well, he’s English and I think that the English are kind of sentimental about their cats.

My love affair with Martin Lukes

9 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc.

There was a time in my life when I used to get the FT on my desk every morning. It wasn’t exactly essential to my job, but it made me feel important, and I used to flick through it in a somewhat desultory fashion.Â The only things I consistently read were Lucy Kellaway and Martin Lukes.Â Imagine my surprise on discovering that the Martin Lukes column is actually written by the fabulous Ms. Kellaway.Â To give you a mild flavour of the wonderfulness of Ms. Kellaway see extract below on childrearing which the best dressed diplomat forwarded me from Ms. Kellaway’s article last Monday:

1. We cannot all have deeply marvellous husbands. if you do not happen to have one, do not worry: a marvellous nanny works just as well.

2. Make sure you have got a lot of money. Not coping when you have money is a lot easier than not coping when you
have not.

3. Take care over the genetic make-up of your children. Seven placid ones are a lot easier than one volatile tearaway.

4. Never wonder if your work-life balance is right, never read books about how others cope. This will only make you anxious and guilty.

5. Always try to renew your children’s passports the moment they expire. If you have to do it in a hurry, then try to get their names right.

6. Except in emergencies, avoid helping your children with their homework. The idea is that they learn the periodic table, not you.

7. Above all, remember that socks can be a huge source of stress. Six collections of socks can make the life of
the stay-at-work mum a veritable nightmare. I have found that if you abandon the bourgeois convention that people need their own socks, or that the two need to match, life is very, very much easier.

And good news, I see from my friend the internet that [Lucy’s Kellaway’s]ï¿½book.. Martin Lukes: Who Moved My BlackBerry(TM) is published in July 2005 by Penguin.Â Hah, Harry Potter eat your heart out, I’m off to pre-order on Amazon.

Comments

on 10 June 2005 at 11:16

I’m sure of course that you assured himself that Number 1 wasn’t an issue?

on 11 June 2005 at 13:45

That is tragic. I always prefered Martin Lukes. And now that’s gone… and I am full of existential dread.
What’s real, I ask myself. Is anything?
A similarish sort of 20six revelation has recently played out here. And yes, I was surprised. To the point where now I am adrift in a sea of doubt and anxiety; could Waffel really be Locotes in digital drag? Could KateEvans have a beard and a big (beer) belly? Could missmorgan be american? Could BratChild be just a shallow makkie-up? Or worse. Could I be fictional?
What a thing to do to a guy’s Saturday!

on 11 June 2005 at 15:08

Negrito, yes, why do you ask?
Locotes, of course.
Jack, that’s funny. I like the idea of being Locotes in digital drag…

on 11 June 2005 at 18:28

Ah ha! So is that an admission? 🙂

on 13 June 2005 at 11:55

Handily enough, I like the idea of waffle liking the idea of being me in digital drag.

on 13 June 2005 at 17:00

Is this getting a bit metaphysical?

on 13 June 2005 at 17:05

hehe.. because i might come around in a few days , thought you could have good adresses ! 😀

on 14 June 2005 at 21:21

Well, what kind of addresses are you interested in? I can do restaurants, certainly…

Revenge

8 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc., Twins

Me: Hee, hee, hee.

If you type “Venetia Quick” into google, guess what site comes up first in the list?
Mr. Waffle: Don’t know.

Me: Oh come on.

Him: Belgian Waffle?

Me: Oh yes, indeedy.

Him: Well, I hope you didn’t say anything actionable.

This is a good point because having twins is going to beggar us. Yesterday I paid a Â€400 deposit to ensure creche places for the little mites. On the plus side we will be a “famille nombreuse” which will give us all kinds of rights under the generous Belgian social system.

Comments

Locoteson 09 June 2005 at 18:28

Such as a free massive family estate car? Or a new home with many bedrooms? How lovely…

belgianwaffleon 09 June 2005 at 21:29

BHM, I am glad that you would not begrudge me, very important!
Locotes, um, generous, but not that generous, I was hoping for a tax rebate on creche fees since you ask.

Locoteson 10 June 2005 at 11:12

Oh. Well all help is good help I suppose… You never know though, pushing for that house might bring rewards……or annoy them so they give you nothing. But life is full of risks eh?

beachhutmanon 10 June 2005 at 13:39

I’m a very unbegrudging type really. ‘Cept for MEPs.

belgianwaffleon 11 June 2005 at 15:11

Locotes, am I you in drag? Jack wants to know.
BHM, good stuff. Suppose I’m really an MEP though? No, of course, I’m not.

Locoteson 13 June 2005 at 11:56

The funny thing is, if he was right, then I’m just having a conversation with myself. But of course he’s not right. Nope. Not at all.

belgianwaffleon 13 June 2005 at 17:00

No, we’re talking to each other. Of course.