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Middle Child

Daniel at 16

4 December, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Twins

Daniel was 16 on September 27. As usual, the birthday post is late.

He is like a grown up. Regular shaving and, like a lot of young men, regular conditioning training. He is, by quite a distance, the fittest, strongest and most toned member of the family. He towers over his mother.

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Of course the non-stop bicycle outings over the course of the pandemic have had an influence as well.

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He had a good sporting year, he thought that it was to be his last year with the 2005 boys in GAA and he was quite sad. However, the county board in its wisdom had put off moving this age cohort on to minor games until next year. I recently watched him play a hurling game and he continues to give it his all at considerable risk to life and limb. My only source of comfort, talking to other parents on the side line, was that he never got into rugby. He wanted to but there are only so many hours in the day and as they don’t play it at school, it would have been a huge commitment.

He still loves basketball but his friend who he played with after school has moved to another school and he is somewhat bereft.

He’s been having a tough time in school. Two good friends of his left after transition year and he’s feeling quite lost but things have been getting better. Covid hasn’t helped. I think he found the time out of school much more difficult than his brother or his sister and he was really a bit lost and lonely at home.

Due to Covid, he has missed out on a lot of standard teenage experiences and is thrown back on his family for socialisation rather more than he would like.

He is very musical and has a fantastic ear. He does brilliant imitations but like his father (and unlike his mother, brother and sister) he doesn’t want to be the centre of attention and really has to be persuaded to demonstrate his quite remarkable skills in this regard. At dinner one evening, I asked him to imitate me and it was uncanny.

He still enjoys playing this card game “Magic: The Gathering”. My sister’s partner is a keen player and he and both boys love playing together. I shudder to think of the money that has been spent on decks. But on the other hand, money has been spent on plenty of other things that never get played with so, a win?

He remains a big FIFA fan having moved on from managing Arsenal to Fenerbahçe ( a Turkish team) and more recently, Hanover. At the parent-teacher meeting the German teacher said his accent was amazing. In part this is due to his excellent ear but in part because he does his Hanover post-match interviews in German. You have to love those levels of dedication.

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He’s academic and does well at school. He is dutifully coaching one of his peers through algebra. I know, because I heard him downstairs when the Wifi wasn’t working upstairs. The school is small and subject choice is limited. Aside from English, Irish and Maths which are compulsory, he ended up doing Physics (which he really wanted to do), German, Biology and Home Economics. He is a bit of a star in the Physics class as they are doing, much more slowly, things he did at great speed last year in his course outside school. There are only four of them so I think there’s quite a nice atmosphere. I was astonished at the parent teacher meeting when the Biology teacher said he was amazing at Biology. He never speaks about it and doesn’t seem remotely interested.

He loves Home Ec though and it is delightfully practical. His teacher went on mat leave and the school couldn’t find a replacement. Home Ec teachers are trained in one place in Ireland and not very many of them. I always think they are particularly good as they came out of school and they wanted to be a Home Ec teacher and focused on that. A lot of other teachers did a BA and drifted into teaching. The old cliché is primary teachers teach children and secondary teachers teach subjects and while it isn’t always true there is some truth in it. Anyway, I digress. The upshot is that he has to do Home Ec after school two days a week which is a bit of a drag but he is really enjoying the classes so swings and roundabouts.

He is inclined to put homework off until the last minute and then have a slight melt down because he has too much to do on a Sunday night, say, but partly that is because his standards are very high. As my mother would say, sometimes the best is the enemy of the good.

He’s still doing a weekly French conversation class at home and his comprehension and French accent are pretty good. He makes a real effort to speak to the young woman we have in and he will always ask for words he doesn’t know.

He is still friendly with his brother and they have loads of interests in common – though not sports. They talk a lot.

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And although they can drive each other crazy they are basically very fond of each other.

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His sister has gone to England but they seemed to be getting on ok before she left but kind of in a ships passing in the night way rather than enthusiastic interactions. It’s more the three of them than Dan and herself alone.

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He likes meeting his cousins who live across the city although, for obvious reasons, we haven’t seen a huge amount of them this year. Still it’s nice to have cousins who fall into a different category from friends or siblings. When we went to Wicklow on an extended family break, there was lots of bonding. His little London cousin is only 4 and he saw her for the first time in two years this autumn. I mean they get on fine and he is kind but they had relatively limited interactions.

He continues to be exceptionally fond of the cat.

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He has made a huge conscious effort to become a less picky eater. He will try anything. It’s a real joy to cook for someone who actually likes my food. And he’s pretty good at cooking too.

He’s started to buy his own clothes a bit which is a new development this year. He wears nail varnish which is something, apparently, young men do now. He has the most beautiful hands, long and slender and his nail varnish looks terrific. I got some sparkly red nail varnish from an advent beauty box my sister gave me (it assumes levels of beauty knowledge which are far in excess of mine). I went into Dan and got him to put it on for me. It turns out his skills aren’t as impressive as I thought. It just looks amazing on him because he has such lovely hands. In fact, he told me that my nail varnish skills are ahead of his as he only found out the hard way that nail varnish is not removable from clothes.

My sister thinks that Ireland is the only country in the world which has such a fine line between funny and mean. Daniel has taken a while to get a hang of this but this year he has started to be quite funny although he can still accidentally be mean when trying to be funny. We’re getting there.

He is very helpful – and over the summer regularly cut the grass in the garden for me and tackled the swathes of greenery which regularly threaten to overwhelm us.

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Overall, he’s a really good child, obliging, kind, generous and funny. I so wish Covid wasn’t looming over everything for him. On that front, at least, things should be better next year.

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Monday, Monday

29 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Twins, Work

Daniel got a negative PCR test. The relief!

Last night I had an anxiety dream where I was zip lining in the Swiss Alps. Despite the fact that I was sure that I was going in the wrong direction, I was assured that I was not and headed off. Half way along there was insufficient momentum (exactly as I had predicted) and I hovered over the middle of the valley completely stuck.

This could be about work or about Covid or about my inner certainty that I am always right, if only people would listen to me. Memorable though.

Advent Begins – The Season of Waiting

28 November, 2021
Posted in: Dublin, Ireland, Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins

Mr. Waffle took Dan to the airport for a fresh Covid test in an abundance of caution (mine). Mr. Waffle got up at 5 in the morning yesterday to book it and then they had to wait two hours for him to take it. Alas. We await hearing.

In continued surprises from Sunday mass, the priest quoted from Emily Dickinson’s “Hope is the thing with feathers” in his sermon in a bid to cheer us all up as we contemplate the next Covid variant (how soon before we run out of letters of the Greek alphabet, depressingly soon by the looks of things?).

In England herself says she is feeling a bit better.

I went into town to do some Christmas shopping. No joy really but town was looking very nice with the Christmas lights up.

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Inspired by Emily, I went into Bewley’s for a cup of tea. More accurately, I joined the queue for tea outside in the freezing cold. When I got to the door, I could not find my mask so I left. As I bitterly put my stuff into my bicycle carrier, didn’t the wretched mask fall from between the pages of the paper? I hummed and hawed but went back and joined the end of the queue and waited and waited. A waitress came out to the frozen pundits on the street and said it would be half an hour for a table. I was committed at this stage. 15 minutes later, her colleague came out and said it would be 20 minutes for a table (ok, I suppose) and as they closed in 20 minutes, there was no longer any point in waiting. I was incandescent with rage. I went to the Queen of Tarts, an old favourite of mine, closed, looked a bit permanently closed, I do hope not. I cycled homewards in the freezing cold and stopped off at a local old reliable cafe. Closing and unable to accommodate me. That’s right, a city of nearly a million people and not a cup of tea to be had. I got home having spent nearly two hours trying to get a cup of tea. Snort.

In other Advent news, my sister gave me an Advent calendar in the form of a box of skin and beauty care. As it was the first day of Advent I pulled it out from under the bed. “Beauty lies within” it announced. “Surprisingly frank,” I thought for a moment. Honestly, could they not have chosen a better slogan? I had to ring her up to find out how I was to use the first item I received, I think it may be a bit sophisticated for me and my beauty regime.

Oh No Redux

25 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

So off she went for her PCR at 11.30 this morning and at 8.15 this evening she got her positive result. Alas alack though impressively speedy work by the British testing people, I must say. I spoke briefly to her this morning and she was pretty miserable – in a bad cold kind of way – but not at death’s door.

My sister is a big fan of moonpig which does personalised cards. She went online and got the Princess a card with a personalised message and my sister’s cartoon of a corona virus on the inside. Unfortunately the site kept crashing and my sister had a lot of difficulty with it. This is why the personalised greeting card has, “Get well soon, Caroline!” on the front. The Princess’s name is not Caroline. Funnily enough when I mentioned moonpig at home, both boys said, “Uh oh, data breach,” so perhaps not where you should go for your personalised greeting cards.

In other news, we had online parent-teacher meetings for the boys this evening. This was extremely stressful. I had to be in the office and called in from there and Mr. Waffle and each boy in turn were tuning in from home. The format was five minutes per appointment. It was like academic speed dating. I turned up in other people’s meetings, they turned up in ours, I couldn’t get in to some teachers, the home team couldn’t get in to others. I mean it was better than nothing but I wouldn’t call it a triumph for new technology. On the plus side the teachers love my children. They’re both doing fine, thanks v much. My favourite nugget from the evening was the following: Michael tends to finish his in class economics exercises ahead of the other students and when he’s finished, he pulls out his book from his bag and starts reading, an activity which is apparently tolerated by the economics teacher but he is keen that Michael would stop reading promptly when class recommences. I can imagine.

Out and About

21 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Reading etc., Twins, Youngest Child

Mr. Waffle is still sick.

It was a beautiful day. On the way home from mass, Daniel looked at me warily and said, “Please don’t suggest a cycle”. I am afraid that that is exactly what I did.

We met friends in the park who invited us to go to see Eurydice in the Met in the cinema (live streamed from NY to your local picture house). I blithely said yes for me and Mr. Waffle, the boys politely but firmly refused the generous offer. I thought it was the “Orpheus and Eurydice” with tunes but it turns out that it is an original composition. I fear the worst. As Mr. Waffle said about these much loved friends of ours, “It’s not just that they love opera but they love hard opera.” A three hour treat for December.

We had a lovely cycle. Even the boys didn’t hate it.

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I peeled off and went to the museum to see the Eileen Gray exhibition, sending the boys on home on the basis that they had suffered enough. The exhibition was mildly interesting. I’m more of a good mahogany furniture kind of person than a modernist so not really for me but I could see it was good, if you see what I mean. Apparently she left Ireland in horror after they did up her family home. I mean, you can see where she was coming from. What an absolutely horrific thing to happen to a perfectly nice square Georgian house.

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I was quite taken by the practicality of some of her more famous pieces. The chair that acknowledges that people sit to one side.

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The “practical for breakfast in bed” table:

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She had an extraordinary life and lived until 98 working away into the 70s. She lived long enough to see her furniture and ideas come back into fashion and in some ways, she’s the godmother of open plan living (though she seemed to have moved away from that in later life). Interesting.

Not Waving But Drowning

20 November, 2021
Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Twins

Mr. Waffle continues to be ill. He decided that it would not be conducive to his recovery to stand in the middle of a windy field for a couple of hours so he delegated to me the job of taking Dan to his hurling match in west Dublin. “You’ve a beautiful day for it,” Mr. Waffle thrilled as we headed off.

We arrived and schlepped for miles from the car park to the designated pitch. No sooner did we arrive than the rain started. I discovered to my horror that although we were instructed to assemble at 1.15 the match was only starting at 2. I trudged gloomily around the pitch regretting that I had neglected to bring any kind of hood and discovering that my boots were not waterproof. Truly mine eyes have seen the abomination of desolation.

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There were 6 subs and, to my relief, Dan was in the starting 15. I spent a good while watching number 24 before I realised that my son was playing up front (normally he’s a back) in the number 6 shirt. Half time arrived mercifully quickly. Sadly, it turned out only to be a water break (quarter time, if you will). I continued my trudging. The heavens absolutely opened with that kind of rain that bounces off the ground and back up your trousers.

I telephoned my sister and she asked how wet I was. This is the photo I sent her. Very wet. Apparently it was a lovely day in Cork.

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Daniel was having a great match but he got knocked down and the coach ran over, patted him on the back and came to the sideline reassuring me that it was only a hard shoulder to the head. I was not reassured. Later he got a hurl to the head (they were all wearing helmets but still) and eventually, about 5 minutes before the end, he was subbed off somewhat to my relief as he is absolutely fearless on the field and I wanted him to finish alive.

I was very proud as we went back to the car and people kept coming up to congratulate him on a great match, sadly though, not great enough as, in the end, they lost by six points but, honestly, it felt closer than that.

We were both glad to get home.

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In other news, I bought logs from a garage and on my way out, accidentally blocked a middle aged woman in high vis and lycra who was marching determinedly in the rain, clearly getting her steps in. She gave me the evil eye, as well she might, and I realised it was the leader of the opposition. This is the kind of glamour that west Dublin offers. Let’s have your own celebrity encounters.

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