Twins

IKEA outcomes sorry outputs

9 August, 2005
Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins

He is building a MALM. What a man. My sister tells me that in Chicago you can order from IKEA on line and pay $100 to have everything delivered.Â Why is it America is so much better at this kind of thing?

Tomorrow we build a bed for the Princess. Our lives are just full, full, full of excitement.

Comments

Locotes

on 10 August 2005 at 12:52

I’m sure we’d be reasonably impressed if we just knew what that was – sounds highly futuristic though – any relation to HAL? 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 10 August 2005 at 19:34

See neither of you has spent enough time in IKEA. All the furniture is lovingly named in Swedish (except for the Billy bookcase and the Carlos desk) and you should know that the MALM is a chest of drawers. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

poggle

on 11 August 2005 at 10:08

I have. I have spent enough time in IKEA.
*gibbers* 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 11 August 2005 at 19:22

Oh no you haven’t and we had to go back today to exchange bed pieces having picked up the wrong ones in our haste last time. Sigh. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

poggle

on 12 August 2005 at 10:18

Really I have. And last time I went with Conchita. Oh god. I need a stiff drink …. the horror, the horror …. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 12 August 2005 at 21:05

That is a funny thought… 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

beachhutman

on 18 August 2005 at 17:15

I LOVE making up Ikea names!
John – Deer
FFart – bathrobe
bollokks – light fitting
It’s great fun. We should start a blog for it! 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 31 August 2005 at 13:22

BHM – I entirely agree, though I expect my time to be somewhat limited in the future… 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

[anonymous]

on 02 November 2005 at 23:32

P a u l B l o g t o w n 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

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Weighty matters

31 July, 2005
Posted in: Mr. Waffle, Twins

Me: I bought a new dress.Â Do you like it? Try to marry truth and tact.

Him: It’s ideal for around the house.

I went for a scan during the week and tested the doctor’s scales, in the interests of everyone’s happiness, we have no weighing scales at home. For your information, the twins now weigh 1.3kgs each. This is average for a single baby at this stage. This means I am twice as large as a normal 7 month pregnant person.Â Are you scared?

Me: Do you know what I weigh now?

Him: No.

Me: 71 kilos

Him: Well, you are pregnant with twins etc.

Me: What do you weigh?

Him: You’d really rather not know.

Me: TELL ME.

Him: 72 kilos.

Princess (addressing herself to stereo which is playing musical backing to Ella Fitzgerald): Tu joues trÃ¨s bien monsieur.

Comments

Minkleberry

on 01 August 2005 at 12:49

I could tell you how much I weigh and it would make you feel slender and positively sylph-like- but then I’d have to kill you xx 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

poggle

on 02 August 2005 at 10:57

Mr W is brilliant – ‘it’s alright for round the house’ indeed. I can see why you married him. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

StarCorner

on 02 August 2005 at 22:19

Like Minkleberry I could do the same! I’m just seriously hoping my thyroid function is out of kilter else I have some serious dieting and exercising to do. As a pregnant mum of twins consider yourself extremely sylph like! 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

dmts

on 03 August 2005 at 07:28

Are you anorexic? 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 04 August 2005 at 12:41

Stroppy, of course there are no right answers, but he SHOULD have known that. Um, yes, pog. Minks, StarCorner, you know that I measure 163cms in my stockinged feet. I am short alas whereas I am sure that you are both tall and willowy.
Yes, HJB, I worry… 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

Minkleberry

on 05 August 2005 at 18:28

Belg, I love you for thinking I am tall and willowy. Sadly, I am 161 centimetres tall. I envy your extra 2- What does the world look like from up there? 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

KateEvans

on 05 August 2005 at 20:20

Well, I’m 173cms and never you mind how many kilos and the ultrasound tech said today that my baby was sizewise ‘above average’ and that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, dammit. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 06 August 2005 at 12:51

Minks, you sound tall and willowy and I’m sure it’s all in the mind. That’s what I try to tell myself anyway.
KE, that sounds like an excellent excuse. With the added merit that it may even be true. 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

Sarcastic Journalist

(Homepage)

on 08 August 2005 at 17:13

I think that if I were you, I’d pretend that it just means I can eat THAT MUCH MORE. ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

belgianwaffle

on 08 August 2005 at 20:02

SJ, now you’re talking! 0
Sweetie(s) given ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½

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Etiquette

27 July, 2005
Posted in: Princess, Twins

The Dutch Mama came to stay last night.Â Just for one night and she brought the Princess a present.Â The Princess was so pleased that she took off all her clothes and ran around naked.Â A new phase perhaps?Â I have just realised that I never take kiddie presents when I go to stay with people.Â I will reform.Â The Dutch Mama also brought loads of gear for the twins because she is kind and good.Â To my deep regret, I opened it in the presence of the Princess who spent some time trying futilely to get into a 0-3 months babygro (MINE, MINE).Â She’s going to be so delighted when these babies are born.

Comments

NorahSplogon 27 July 2005 at 16:48

Oh dear – the royal nose is going to be put out of joint. Poor princess. 0
Sweetie(s) given

belgianwaffleon 28 July 2005 at 11:10

Yes, Loc, I’m hoping she’ll grow out of it, apparently her uncle was a great stripper when a toddler and he seems to have grown out of it.
Yes, Norah, I’m terrified. 0
Sweetie(s) given

Shoe Blues

25 June, 2005
Posted in: Twins

This whole foot swelling thing is out of control. The weather isn’t helping. As of yesterday, I could fit into one pair of shoes. Just. I went out at lunch time to buy some new shoes in a larger size, but no joy. My problem was that my enormous swollen instep and ankle required a size 42 but my feet continued (mercifully, I suppose) to be a size 39 in length so the flip floppy things I was trying on were just too flip floppy to walk in. Meanwhile young things with gazelle like ankles were taunting me by flaunting same.

Mercifully the weather is not so hot today and I can fit into a range of shoes. And while I’m on the subject of shoes. I got the following email recently:

“Hi Belgianwaffle!

I reacted via your weblog about what you wrote there about scholl sandals. For my final examination next year I’starting a study about the influence of wearing woorden exercise sandals on the feet in general. Since two years wooden sandals such as Scholl are increasing in popularity in most european countries as you may also have noticed in Belgium.

I understand that your experiences with the Scholls you bought were not very positive. Would you like to give me some more information abouty what disappointed you?. Were it wooden Scholl sandals by the way? But also things like how often you wore them and for how long. Would love to hear from you!”

Of course I replied at great length. As will be obvious, I find talking about me irresistible. Yet, somewhere, in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help wondering whether the author of this email was entirely serious. Annemie, if you’re genuine, I’d like you to know that I’m finding my wooden Scholl sandals very comfortable with my swollen ankles.

And finally, today saw us venturing to a barbecue in the Irish College in Louvain which was pleasant. Our daughter kindly wandered in a Lavender maze presenting us with fantastic photo ops (always an object with parents).

Comments

ladyjaneon 25 June 2005 at 22:59

And yes, her hair doth grow!

Liloon 27 June 2005 at 12:01

Beautiful little girl.
My feet offend me on a daily basis – I don’t think I’ll ever see my ankle bones again.

Locoteson 27 June 2005 at 12:01

Dear waffle, I understand how the trials of pregnancy are affecting your wardrobe, appetite and feet, but fear not, for once the little tykes are born, parenting will be a breeze. A guide has been created which you can follow as law – and then watch your little darlings turn into the pride of Ireland…..well, Cork anyway.
Have a peek here.

Beth(Homepage)

on 27 June 2005 at 15:35

I’ve given up on shoes entirely and highly recommend it.

belgianwaffleon 28 June 2005 at 21:28

Thank you Kristin and Lilo for suitable motherly comments on the photos – I would like you to know that you are writing to one with cocktail sausages for toes so your comments are most comforting.
Locotes, I enjoyed that. Ta.
Beth, now you’re talking.

Maternity wear

20 June, 2005
Posted in: Family, Twins

Mother: And how are you feeling darling?
Me: Well, actually, still a bit nauseous and sore back and, a thing I didn’t have last time, swollen ankles.
Mother: Why do you think that is?
Me: I suppose I’m heavier, I weigh 66 kilos, you know.
Mother: 66 kilos!!ï¿½ That’s more than me. [You should know that my mother is considerably taller than me].
Me: I am six months pregnant WITH TWINS.
Mother: Do you look pregnant then?
Me: I refer you to my previous answer.
Mother (nostalgically): When I was pregnant no one ever knew that you were pregnant until right at the end.
Me: Well, that’s the late 60s/70s for you mother, flowing kaftans and maxis have their uses.
Mother (in tones of disapproval): I suppose you wear those figure hugging things that I see pregnant women around town in.
Me: Yes. No kaftans for me.
Mother (sighs audibly): I suppose it’s the fashion.

Comments

kristin

on 20 June 2005 at 16:49

For what it’s worth, i weigh 66 kilos without the benefit of carrying twins. Onward and upward. Take yourself and Princess Waffle out for a nice pastry.

jackdalton

on 20 June 2005 at 17:30

And would that be with or without clothing… 😐

KateEvans

on 20 June 2005 at 18:07

I imagine in those 70s kaftans everyone just thought you were getting a bit hefty. We all hear stories about how ‘no one knew X was pregnant until she had the baby’, but have you ever known one of these women personally? I frankly don’t think they exist, unless of course they are massive to begin with.

Bobble

on 20 June 2005 at 21:27

Did your mother say that if you cut your hair you won’t attract a man either?

Minkleberry

on 21 June 2005 at 09:23

My mum says the same thing to me. They’re kidding themselves…

Lilo

on 21 June 2005 at 12:31

At the weekend my stepmother asked me, ‘Don’t you feel uncomfortable wearing those tight clothes?’. My reply; ‘At this stage, clothes are the last things making me feel uncomfortable.’

beachhutman

on 21 June 2005 at 16:19

I’ve still got one of those kaftans somewhere…….

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 16:50

I never saw you as the blatant bump revealing type. How…interesting. You have the matching pink tracksuit bottoms I assume?

belgianwaffle

on 21 June 2005 at 19:57

Pog, Minks, I dunno, those maxis were very flowing…
Kristin, thank you for your words of comfort. Jack, I’m ignoring that.
Lilo, well at least you’re nearly there…
BHM, a terrifying insight.
Locotes, you will recall that you are me in drag or vice versa. I rely on you to advise.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 22:03

What?! What have I done now?!
[looks back through comments]
Oh. Well anyway, be like that if you must I was just being encouraging and supportive. You know: indicating that despite your Aunt Marge-ish dimensions there are some who still find you interesting and attractive…. 😉
Besids it’s not fair. Locotes gets away with that most lewd, chav-like comparison and I’m ignored just because I’m being emotionally supportive. Like a kind of digital / bloggosphere 40 denier opaque…

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:11

I shall always think of you Jack when I’m in the M&S Hosiery department.

jackdalton

on 21 June 2005 at 23:24

Bobs: my life would thus be complete….
Though I’d rather hoped it would be Le Senza or Knickerbox or somewhere a bit more that-ish…. 😉

Locotes

on 21 June 2005 at 23:41

Yes of course, I forgot. In that case, for the love of God, we should ditch the trackies and cover the bump. A beautiful thing and all that, but our neighbours and co-workers don’t need to see that much detail.Also, I’m glad I/you/us/we agree that jack’s pervy nudie-related comment was highly uncalled for. The bare-faced cheek of it all…..as it were.

Bobble

on 21 June 2005 at 23:42

Then you’d have to be a 10 denier gloss Jack.

belgianwaffle

on 25 June 2005 at 20:14

Jack, you will remember that I am Locotes in drag, of course he can get away with anything. Locotes, the bump is not exposed. Do not panic.
Bobble, you know you’re only encouraging him.

Naming

15 June, 2005
Posted in: Reading etc., Twins

Some random things. I have been tagged by Fluid Pudding.
I am pleased and proud. Fluid Pudding is my hero, also I’veÂ never been tagged before so am revelling in new found popularity. I will spend some time mulling and revert. Hang on to your hats.

Via the sarcastic journalist, I have found a baby name site
which I believe is worth exploring further. This reminds me of
Mr. Waffle’s reading on twins. It appears people often like to
give their twins names that go together like Bob and Dylan.
Really, is it any wonder children hate their parents?

Comments

Lilo

on 17 June 2005 at 11:42

I can commiserate, my H will be leaving me to go camping for 2 days while I look after a 2 year old and will be 7 months pregnant. He keeps on doing these ‘last chance before the baby comes’ things.

Kate_Sith

on 17 June 2005 at 12:20

We recently had a case involving twins called Darren and Derrin. That’s just cruel.

Locotes

on 17 June 2005 at 18:30

Tod and Rod could work.

belgianwaffle

on 17 June 2005 at 21:15

Undercover, I’d never noticed that before but I bet you are right.
Lilo, does he not realise that he already has a baby? Though I suppose that the thought of all three of you going together is worse than letting him off on his own.
Kate, Locotes, good suggestions, I’ve come up with Aurora and Dawn, I think I may be on to something here or should I stick with Gobnait and Fachtna (Kate, you think these aren’t real names, but they are, oh they are, Loc, back me up here).

beachhutman

on 17 June 2005 at 23:44

My cats are Fortnum and Mason. But not for twins. oooh noooo.

belgianwaffle

on 18 June 2005 at 08:08

Oh, I dunno, has a certain ring to it…

Locotes

on 19 June 2005 at 16:14

Larry and Barry.
Bill and Ben.
Grainne and Aine.
Or, of course, Podge and Rodge.I actually know a Fachtna – the poor sod…

Lilo

on 20 June 2005 at 12:46

To be fair, if I didn’t want him to go, he wouldn’t. I’m just worried about filling the time without us getting cross with each other.