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Archives for 13 October, 2004

So, Graham Norton

13 October, 2004
Posted in: Reading etc.

I just finished Graham Norton’s autobiography and although it is not the kind of thing I would have bought myself, I really enjoyed it, even though I think his programme on the telly is kind of useless. Of course, he is from Cork and it was interesting to get the inside track on what it’s really like inside Bandon Grammar.  All we knew was that they were protestants and ferociously good at hockey.  I remember one girl who was expelled for giving cheek to the nuns went off there and I met her again in college and she had become a very talented hockey player in the meanwhile.  I think I can safely say her skills would not have prospered in the same way had the following exchange not taken place:

Nun with clipboard noting the names of latecomers (always including me but I was very humble about it):  You’re late.

Me: Sorry, sorry, sister, it won’t happen again (craven lie), I slept out, the alarm didn’t go off, my parents were away, the cat ate my bike, I’m an abandoned child, please, please forgive me.

Girl who was subsequently expelled: Well, ten out of ten for observation, sister.

Anyway, I digress.  I liked the Cork bits but I’m not sure that they would be so appealing to outsiders, but who knows.  All the stuff before he was famous was quite good but once he becomes famous, it’s a bit of a tedious list of the great and the good.  The good news is it takes him a long time to become famous.  There is one good bit from when he’s famous.   For reasons, I won’t bore you with, he ends up having lunch at Sharon Stone’s house with his mother who is an entirely authentic Irish mammy. And she tells Sharon Stone that her (Ms. Stone’s) child’s name which she (Ms. Stone) believes to be Irish isn’t an Irish name at all and only a made up one.   Mr. Norton was mortified.  But you have to admire the Irish mother, a reliable product all round.

Comments
jackdalton

on 13 October 2004 at 22:32

But you should see the size of the cats in Cork…. it’s entirely possible that the tale is true.

belgianwaffle

on 14 October 2004 at 12:24

Jack is right, Silver. Our cat was particularly enormous.

poggle

on 14 October 2004 at 12:30

I like expelled-girl’s style with Nunzilla ….

belgianwaffle

on 14 October 2004 at 13:05

Yeah, pog, I know, impressive. And you didn’t know this nun. She was a legend. She had one wandering eye and one that bored into you.

poggle

on 14 October 2004 at 13:26

*shivers*
That’s like something out of Omen …

18 months

13 October, 2004
Posted in: Princess

The Princess was.  Yesterday.  We went out for tea to celebrate.

I sat down. I inserted the Princess in a high chair.  Tea and cake were ordered.

We had the following conversation:

Princess: Cake?

Me: Yes, cake. Would you like some?

Princess (nodding vigourously) : Oui, yes.

Me: Here’s a little on a plate for you.  What do you say?

Princess: Thank you. (Takes a mouthful) Nice. (Takes a further mouthful) More?

Me: I think that’s probably enough.

Princess (imperiously) : More.

Me (capitulating instantly) : OK.

Princess: Thank you. Merci.  Milk.

Me: Would you like some milk?

Princess : Oui, yes.

I poured out some milk into a mug and she sat and drank her milk and ate her cake, pointing out buses as they pulled up at the bus stop outside (Bus, bus, bus!).

Then we got ready to go. She smiled round at the other customers and said “Au revoir”.

We went to the cash desk to pay and as we swung out the door she called back to the man behind the counter “Au revoir, merci”.

Perfect.

Comments
dmts

on 13 October 2004 at 21:52

And when did she tell the waitress to fuck off?

DruidX

on 13 October 2004 at 23:40

*insert high-pitched ‘aww’ type noise*

NorahSplog

on 14 October 2004 at 11:30

Happy Birthday-And-A-Half Princess. A sweetie for good behaviour.

belgianwaffle

on 14 October 2004 at 12:23

Silver, thank you. I wil pass on your congratulations to himself. Snort. Heather, double snort. Druid X, Norah, thank you, that’s much more like it. Norah, particular thanks for the sweetie. Incidentally, can I say how much Mr. Waffle and I enjoyed your ode to typing?

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