belgianwaffle

Archives for November 2005

Telephone Etiquette


Posted in: Middle Child, Siblings, Twins, Youngest Child

My sister and I spoke on the phone during the week.

Round I

Me:  You’re on speaker and the phone is on my knee.

Her: Why?

Me (triumphantly): Because I have a baby on each breast – Oh God!

Her: What? What?

Me: I dropped Michael.

Her: Oh God!

Me: Not very far and on to the sofa, he didn’t like it much though.

Daniel poos.

Me:  Did you hear that?

Her:  I was trying to ignore it.

Me: That was your nephew doing a poo.

Her: Too much information.

Me: But my life is full of poo at the moment.

Her (tartly): But mine doesn’t have to be.

Me (grudgingly):  Fair point.

Round II

Me:  I was watching “What Not to Wear” the other night; they say that your sister is the only person who will tell you what your clothes are really like (though I must say on the evidence presented in the programme, I believe Trinny and Susannah will as well). So tell me…

Her: No.

Me: Why not?

Her (crabbily):  I haven’t seen you much since you were pregnant with the Princess and I criticised one thing then and I got my nose bitten off.

Me (even more crabbily):  Have you any idea how hard it is to get nice maternity clothes?

Her (hastily): Anyway, I haven’t seen your non-maternity wardrobe in years.

Me: It’s still all the same.

Her: Pregnant silence.

Me: Oh I see.

Knock out

Her: Anyway, I’ve got to go, I have a meeting.

Me: But you can’t go, I’m stuck under two feeding babies.

Her: Sorry.

Me (desperately): But I havenÂ’t got a book or the TV remote to hand and the radio is off.

Her: Gotta go, bye, talk to you soon.

I spend the next while muttering darkly and listening to the telephone beeping while trying to manouevre myself into a position to switch off the speaker button.

Comments

Friar Tuck

on 21 November 2005 at 17:58

I’m trying, unsuccessfully, to work myself up to the expected level of indignation toward sis.

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 09:19

Yes, Minks and to add insult to injury a parcel arrived from her in the post yesterday for the Princess and the boys and now I feel guilty as well…
FT, wouldn’t worry, she has plenty of indignation for everyone. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Nothing to See Here


Posted in: Reading etc.

I recommend that you read this. It is the funniest thing I have read in some time.

Completely unrelated:
The Law Society of Ireland Gazette is anxious to reassure that solicitors are taking the latest slur on the legal profession seriously (too lengthy and depressing to go into). This month the magazine assures readers that “..the Society will accept, for the first time, complaints made other than in writing”.  Way to go, thatÂ’’s bound to reassure the punters.

Comments

UndercoverCookie

on 22 November 2005 at 09:56

it frightened the bejeesus out of me. I’ve never had kids. I’d like to have them – or at least I did.

NorahSplog

on 22 November 2005 at 11:24

Oh god oh god oh god

dmts

on 22 November 2005 at 11:39

Well, you took it better than I imagined Norah.

belgianwaffle

on 22 November 2005 at 15:06

H, reckon Minks is too experienced to be scared now, but at least Norah and Cookie are terrified.

Minkleberry

on 22 November 2005 at 15:39

Hilarious- a little bit of wee snuck out (only a little though, thank god.)

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 09:31

Hell- I’m never having a baby and I was terrified. And amused.
Do you think the Law Society will be accepting complaints such as rotten eggs hurled at them, by the way?

belgianwaffle

on 23 November 2005 at 12:11

Minks, showing your experience – amused not terrified, see pog was terrified and amused in that order. Pog, suspect that they might not, worth a try though…


Posted in: Miscellaneous

If I could use the photoshop thingy, I might get rid of the patch of
vomit between them on the sheet or I suppose I could use that time to
change the sheet..

Comments

Beth

(Homepage)

on 22 November 2005 at 15:26

“Wait a minute, I thought I was Michael.”    

Friar Tuck

on 22 November 2005 at 15:32

Who is that lady? And why does she keep flashing that bright light in our eyes?    

dmts

on 22 November 2005 at 15:44

Hey, it could be worse! We could have our pictures showing on the internet. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Diva

on 22 November 2005 at 16:28

Twin 1: “So the master plan is as soon as she changes the sheet we vomit again, like this….”
Twin 2: “Shhh! I hear her coming! Just look cute so she doesn’t get suspicious!” 0
Sweetie(s) given    

cha0tic

on 22 November 2005 at 17:34

“Hang on. Why do I have to lie in your vomit?” 0
Sweetie(s) given    

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 09:34

Twin 1:Nonono – I shaid, a man walksh into a bar wif an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotshman …
Twin 2: Shtill doan geddit. Wha’s she puttin’ in our bocklesh anyway? 0
Sweetie(s) given    

OliviaJoules

on 23 November 2005 at 10:08

Twin1: If only I could roll…
Twin2: Mummmmmy! 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Locotes

on 23 November 2005 at 11:13

“Are you as tired as I am of being used against your will for caption competitions?”

“Yep.” 0
Sweetie(s) given    

geepeemum

on 23 November 2005 at 11:30

“You’re in a pink sleepsuit too – how old do you think we’ll be before we stop wearing the Princess’s clothes?”
(the curse of the younger brother – mine did it too!)    

belgianwaffle

on 23 November 2005 at 12:13

You people are actually really funny, I think I may do this again, I enjoyed that a lot and I need all the thrills I can get. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

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Long Night


Posted in: Middle Child, Mr. Waffle, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

The remainder of the night went as follows:
12.30 FINALLY persuade the boys to go to sleep for the night.
1.30 Well, not for the night, obviously, feed them again and pray.
2.30 Boys wake up again and are anxious to play.
3.30 Boys wake up again and are fed.
4.50 Princess wakes up and demands a bottle and that I lie beside her.  As I am singing “rock a bye baby” hear roaring from our bedroom. Finish “rock a bye baby” and depart.
5.00 Feed the boys AGAIN and hope that they will now sleep.
5.30 Boys are drifting off to sleep.  Realise that I cannot remember the last time I changed them. Change them and wake them up. Castigate myself for extreme idiocy.
6.00 Boys finally go to sleep.
7.00 Princess wakes for the day and promptly prods her brothers awake.

Comments

NorahSplog

on 23 November 2005 at 12:58

I’m tired just reading that.

Minkleberry

on 23 November 2005 at 15:02

Oh lordy. Huge amounts of sympathy.

on 23 November 2005 at 15:57

Gulp. I’m sure you’re fed up with the “how do you do it?” comments but – how do you do it?

poggle

on 23 November 2005 at 17:22

And she still finds the energy to blog. Now that’s true dedication.

kristin

(Homepage)

on 24 November 2005 at 02:21

Oh dear. If i weere a 20six-er, i could give you a bunch of sweeties, but since i’m not, i’ll just hand you a cool cloth for your head. and possibly your bb’s. and i know you don’t celebrate, but it’s thanksgiving day here, tomorrow, so just be glad you won’t be called upon to do all of the above and produce a 20-lb turkey with all the fixins. kisses and sleeping pills for all. ???

belgianwaffle

on 24 November 2005 at 09:12

Wow, a sweetie bonanza. Thank you ladies and, er, ladies. Hunter came home from the neighbouring Grand Duchy last night and was greeted with ecstasy.

Put Upon


Posted in: Middle Child, Princess, Twins, Youngest Child

Parent 1: I’m going to clean the kitchen.
Parent 2: Yes, why don’t you have a little break?

Other things that now constitute a little break: putting out the bins, washing teeth, having a shower.

Comments
If you want a holiday, I have a lot of housework to be done…

Bobble
Waffly, you have my utmost respect and admiration x

giftofthegab
and he’s still alive? mine politely suggested i tend to some laundry of his this morning. i am plotting his downfall as we speak.
Diva
Men are barking mad! ;o)

belgianwaffle
A number of you are making sexist assumptions in relation to who said what..

poggle
But are they right?

belgianwaffle
Um, yeah, but he does the laundry..

poggle
Gotcha. Hee hee.

sarcastic journalist
(Homepage)
Break in my house also constitutes going to the grocery store.

belgianwaffle
Smart pog.
SJ, that IS a break.

Lilo
I’m the same – and I’d add having a pee to my ‘having a little break’ list.

belgianwaffle
You get to go on your own???


Posted in: Miscellaneous

I come back
to the dinner table from the kitchen to find Princess sitting in solitary
splendour, Michael in a bouncy chair and Mr. Waffle and Daniel gone. 
“What happened?” I ask her.

“Daniel was
sick on Daddy.  On his trousers and on
his t-shirt and on the floor” she gestures expansively “and Daddy say ‘fuck!’”.

Comments

dmts

on 25 November 2005 at 13:27

She’s got such a brilliant recall. She’s going to make you so proud 0
Sweetie(s) given    

poggle

on 25 November 2005 at 13:41

Good job he does the washing … 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Minkleberry

on 25 November 2005 at 15:53

well, as long as it was daddy, and not daniel… 0
Sweetie(s) given    

gracehart

on 26 November 2005 at 06:02

Ooopsie, the f word… ^^
What would it be of this world without little Princess remarks? She’s so lovely!! 🙂
Regards, Mr. & Mrs. Waffle.
(And make some silly funny faces to the lovely princes from me, please ^^) 0
Sweetie(s) given    

negrito

on 27 November 2005 at 17:32

lol… that’s cool dinner 🙂 0
Sweetie(s) given    

belgianwaffle

on 28 November 2005 at 11:03

Should I say that Irish people swear more than others? Or did you know that already? Lots more than Americans who I find are quite alarmingly polite and nothing like on the telly.. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Diva

on 28 November 2005 at 16:23

*can’t stop laughing!*

Bless! 0
Sweetie(s) given    

nagnagnag

on 28 November 2005 at 16:30

And who wouldn’t, though?! 0
Sweetie(s) given    

belgianwaffle

on 29 November 2005 at 15:45

Diva, hmm, are you ebcouraging her? NNN, I suppose. 0
Sweetie(s) given    

Diva

on 29 November 2005 at 16:21

God, I’d be hopeless, I would keep giggling and, as kids do love an appreciative audience, it wouldn’t help matters one bit so you’d probably have to put me on the naughty step as an example! :o) 0
Sweetie(s) given    

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